I wish he was taller....

[bathos]

I've been dating my boyfriend for about 4 or so months... I really can't remember, Im horrible at dates.

Everything is great, and he is the nicest guy ever. He treats me better than anyone has ever treated me before. But there's one isty bitsy thing that bothers me, and I just cant seem to get over. He's short! I figured meh, I'll date him for a while and if he's nice it wont matter. But I think it does. I keep seeing taller/hotter guys and can't stop thinking about being with them.

I feel so shallow. The problem is, I do like him. He's sooo nice and he has a good personality that really suits mine. i even like his parents! he's just not hot to me, he's merely a cutie. I'm losing my sexual desire for him... well I dont think I really had much of one, but it's feeling more like a hassel for me.

If I ignore this height situation, do you think I will get over the fact that he's so short?

... MAN! I just wish he was taller....

ps. I was thinking of buying him some new clothes. Ya' know try and spruce him up a little. Is it a bad idea to try to change how someone dresses?

[miSSleepy]

I think you're missing some important hints here - you're not attracted to him, and/or you have no chemistry. Now, you can think he's the most nicest, friendliest, funny person ever, but without the chemistry/attraction, you abd him are no more than just friend material.

The height thing is neither here nor there. He just happens to be short, and you're attributing this to your lack of attraction. Now if you were suited for this guy romantically, trust me, you would not mind the height difference. I've been in those situations... I always (still do) believe that the guy has to be taller than me for me to be attracted to them - but it wasn't the case. When I actually liked someone romantically, it didn't end up mattering what height they were.

So, to sum up ... don't force it. The attraction isn't there. Changing his clothes will not do anything.

[girl68]

He wishes you were skinnier. *Ouch, did that burn?*

Yeah, that's exactly my point.

Even worse is that you can do something about it, he can't. Now, I know you might not be fat, or whatever... but just THINK about what you're saying- the advice is easy: If you "can't" get over it leave him to find himself a gal who will love all 5 and a half feet (or slightly more) of him. Period.

[Disillusioned]

If there's no, or not enough, attraction due to an aspect he can't change you're shooting yourself in the foot romantically so that you can either avoid confrontation or preserve your impressions of your own compassion. We're all shallow to some degree, that's what attraction is based on but what we call shallow has a depth all its own. It's not just how they look, it's how they carry what they've got, the walk, the expression on their face... There might be certain criteria for you to be attracted to someone and while you may be somewhat attracted to him, if you have sex with him and don't really want to you're humoring him with pity sex and that's insulting. You have to have that critical mass or its one sided and one sided relationships lead to resentment. Time to break up. You could tell him straight up that he's too short if you give him the respect that he can handle it but I prefer economy with my honesty. If you want to preserve his feelings make up some other excuse to put some space between the two of you and let it drift apart to a comfortable degree. If you think he's a good guy, see if one of your freinds might be interested in him.