Girls - I am not begging, but PLEASE help! :)

[MagicBill]

I am 28 and fairly confident. I am ok looking (although most of my girl mates say I am good looking), I have a good job and my own flat. I am funny, talented, good fun and I don't lie and only drink now and again. Why then can I not find a nice girl that's interested in me? I think I am pretty perfect boyfriend material! I am thoughtful and kind and am just as happy sitting eating ice cream watching a romantic comedy as I am out with my girl in a nice restaurant. I dress well and look after myself - so why are girls not interested in me? I am not at all arrogant or cocky - is this a bad thing? Most of the girls I am interested in say I am 'too nice'. HOW can you be too nice? If I am wanting to impress a girl of course I am going to treat her nice. I want her to see I am a nice guy! I meet girls in my line of work (I am actually a professional close-up magician) and when I am out with friends etc. but why can they never see that I am a nice guy? I see so many lovely girls out with complete losers - it's so confusing!
Take a girl I met last year for example -
I was out with some friends last Halloween at a local nightclub when I met this girl. We met early doors and swapped names etc and I remember thinking 'wow' - she was really pretty.
About 2 hours later (1 hour till closing) I bumped into her again. She had lost all of her friends and seemed happy to see me. We shared some drinks and had a dance - it was great. I am not overly proud of the next part cause it's not something I ever do, but she ended up coming back to mine (this decision was 100% mutual). We did sleep together but the next morning I made her breakfast and reassured her that I'd like to see her again. She seemed quite happy with that and gave me her number.
I couldn't wait and texted her later that day telling her that I'd had a great time last night and I hoped I could see her again.
She texted me back saying she'd had a nice time too but wasn't looking for anything 'heavy'. I got the impression she was just out of a relationship or had been treated pretty badly in the past. I just said that was cool and we'd speak soon.
So I texted her thru the week and she ended up coming over for dinner the following weekend. That, I think, was my first mistake - I should probably have taken her out? Less pressure on the situation that way. Ahhh, hindsight!
Anyway, she came over and we had chinese, watched a movie, shared a kiss then I walked her to her car. Looking back on it I was probably a bit too forward - so so stupid! After her telling me she wasn't looking for anything heavy I go and give her the heavy come-on!
Rather unsurprisingly she didn't text me for days and when I texted her she blew me off saying it wasn't what she was looking for at the moment.
The annoying thing is that I had built her up so much that when she came round that night I was mega nervous and so I probably did try too hard, but it was only cause I really liked her.
Since then I've bumped into her in the local club several times. We always talk and it's fine until I bring up the subject of maybe seeing her again or something. Funny thing is I know she likes me and anytime we do bump into each other she seems happy to see me. The thing I can't get my head round though is that she tells me I am 'too nice' to her. HOW can you be 'too nice' to a girl? Or does she mean too intense/forward?
Anyway, it's been nearly a year since we met and I still can't get over her. I've had plenty of girlfriends and crushes etc. but this girl is different - I'd do anything to show her that I am a fun and genuine guy - a side of me that she probably hasn't seen.
I want to tell her I messed up and it was because I was nervous.
I still have hope that we might get together because she added me on facebook a couple of weeks ago. I haven't sent her a message or anything yet (learned from past mistakes) but I guess she's still interested in me on some level so WHAT SHOULD I DO NEXT?
I really believe I can still make something happen here, but I can't afford any more mistakes! Any advice would be really appreciated! Thanks x

[Reath]

She probably got some sad history which lead her to broken heart and she don't want to have a deja-vu.
I'm not goofying like my mood but it's probably something about her past.
Try to dig info whether she wanted a relationship or not.

[Bumble_bee]

YOU havn't had the chance to get to know her, just as much as she hasn't had the chance to see you the way you want her to see you, going full steam ahead because you like treating women good is nice, but yes there is such as being too nice.

it might be akward for her to date you because she probably thought she wouldn't see you again after that night, and she might feel that you might judge her for that some time in the future...

you have to slow down a bit, don't ask too much so soon, cut out heavy contact in the begining and let the girls miss you, let them have the chance to persue you.

[Reath]

YOU havn't had the chance to get to know her, just as much as she hasn't had the chance to see you the way you want her to see you, going full steam ahead because you like treating women good is nice, but yes there is such as being too nice.

it might be akward for her to date you because she probably thought she wouldn't see you again after that night, and she might feel that you might judge her for that some time in the future...

you have to slow down a bit, don't ask too much so soon, cut out heavy contact in the begining and let the girls miss you, let them have the chance to persue you.

Wow, that's detailed. I could learn something from this... you girls really do think differently!

[Bumble_bee]

Women have that thing called pride too you know. I think you will find the more you try to relax about these things, the more ladies will sense your not all desperate to make babies with them. As genuine as you both sound, sometimes it feels/looks too good to be true, taking time to let them get to know the real you is important, , becausue whether we all like it or not, the dating game is just that, a game, so heavy stuff right at the get go is extremely off putting. Women like to be chased (not stalked mind you), but surprinsingly many love to do the chasing.

But in Magic's case it seems that it has something to do with her pride, and also perhaps recent relationship problems. Back off for a while, she seems like she is at least interested in staying in touch, just let it be on her terms for the time being, until a certain amoutn of familiarity and trust has been built up to go for in for the dating discussion.

[damn2008]

Don't text or talk on the phone too much. Use the phone as a tool to SET UP dates and such. Just keep yourself back and busy doing stuff to occupy yourself.

[Gigabitch]

She's just not in the market for a boyfriend. She's a club hookup. That's all. Focus you efforts elsewhere.

As frustrating as you find it that you can't seem to find a girl that appreciates how nice you are, that's how frustrating I find it to watch nice guys like you chase after girls who don't even really want them. Stop it. There are perfectly good girls all around you and you don't even see them because you're still trying to make this one-nighter into something it wasn't.