Am I just blind???

[dyno930]

Hey Everyone. I have an issue. I've been with my current boyfriend for a year already and we seem to be on and off about 3 times in the year that we've been together. Him and his wife are legally seperated and he keeps telling me that he will get divorced but he has no money to do it right now. They also have 3 kids together and it also seems like his wife is always using the kids as an excuse to get him away from me. They're been so many issues but yes we work some out but something always tend to come up. Is it wrong for me to hate his wife because of all the things that she does. I do also hate the fact that he is so nice to her even though she treats him like crap.... anyways... my point is, is that we just got into an argument and i told him that forget it... if he's going to be angry that i said just to spend more time with his kids... then we shouldnt be together. Then later i said i was sorry and i wanted to work it out and be together because i love him so much. But for some odd reason he's just giving me the cold shoulder. The funny thing is... the last time that we almost broke up.. we got into an argument and i asked him if he was going to divorce his wife and he answered back.. maybe yes and maybe no... that hurt me alot when he said that. and he said he made his decision to be with his kids. then later on he calls me and said that he misses me and he loves me alot and can we just work it out... and on that very same day... i said i'll think about it but we got back together. why is he giving me the cold shoulder? how come he cant do what i did for him even though he said those hurtful things. SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME!!! AM I JUST BLIND!!!!!????

[Bumble_bee]

yes you clearly are blind, did you think it would be easy dating a guy with an ex wife (barely) and 3 kids.

He will always have to divide his time between you and his kids, are you ok with this? because the family (his 3 kids) no matter if its the wife pulling games to get him with them, will win everytime.

[bluesummer]

Stay away from him until he gets a proper divorce and proves he's seriously moved on from her and is ready to commit. Until then, he's just stringing you along, and you don't need to put up with that shit. He's a bloody fence-sitter.

[aznprincess]

ye syou are clearly blinded by your love for him. If he really loves you alot, he will do everything in his power to divorce the wife and live with you with no string attached.

[aznprincess]

you are clearly blinded by your love for him. If he truly loves you, he will do everything in his power to divorce the wife and give you a realtionship with no strings attached.

[JDash3]

As some have stated before me.... I would tell him that if he really loves you then he'd get a divorce and move on from any ties from his (somewhat) ex-wife... (Except obviously the kids)... It's tough because by dating a guy that's not legally divorced you're in a tight spot... He's got no commitment and can string you along as an earlier poster said.

Don't let love blind you... Believe me I know how easy it is to say and how hard it is to take that advice.

[dyno930]

Thanks everyone for all the advice. I did feel that but somehow I was just kidding to myself that it would work out. I try to explain to him how I feel about his wife and he just doesn't want to talk about it. He doesn't talk much to his wife. All he gets are messages to go buy milk and other stuff for the kids. I told him that I don't mind that he does that because it's his kids. My friends do tell me that I am in a really tight situation and I really have to figure it out. 3 of my friends including my sister says that it seems like he's still protecting her and not really care about my feelings... maybe they are right... how could i be so blinded? it hurts so bad....

[bluesummer]

Yeah, of course it's okay for him to do stuff for the kids, however he's under no obligation to be at HER beck and call to do stuff. She can't get milk on her own? He has an obligation to spend time with his children and provide for them financially, but he's not her personal run-around service.

I stand by what I said before. No relationship until he files divorce papers. Make him show he really wants a relationship. It's not hard to file for divorce, I've done it. The hardest part is actually deciding to do it, and it doesn't appear to me that he's gotten there yet......which means you're bound to end up in a world of hurt, my dear. The fact that he doesn't want to talk about it tells me he's in no hurry to address this, or doesn't have the balls to deal with it.