Need some advice/help.

[Heath]

Hey my first post here ,

This post could turn out pretty long so sorry in advance ;

All started 3j's ago , i was 17 she was 15. We first hung out in a group of friends but quickly fell in love. First year was great! We hung out , could do all sorts of things , never had a real fight etc. Things looked great , then after about a year she got mad at me for looking at the movie ' the girl next door '. I didn't know what happend since we could watch movies before and all of a sudden she got mad at me. This is no ordinary mad , this is dilated pupils , alot of sweating , drop in tempature and being really cold and hard to me for 1 or more days.

This got worse over the 2j period we were together , untill she even accused me having something with my own sister?(wtf??) I didn't want to go to much into detail about her extreme jealousy but you have to know this part so you'll understand the rest of the story.

About 2-3 weeks ago , I 'found' out she went shopping with one of my best friends and other similar things.( happend a few times) Ofcourse I was mad , one because I had to 'find' out about it and two because its really really hypocritical of her.

After this we had huge fights because she thought she didn't do anything wrong. Let me remind you that she was jealous in the most extreme form imaginable , seriously.

I could say alot more but for time's sake not gonna make this to long.

So we talked about everything and decided to be 'friends'. Then after a few days she comes to my house and says that that same 'best friend' (not a friend of me anymore) said that he wanted more with her. (was on my birthday by the way). She said she didn't want to and that she only see's him as a friend. (Liked that she told me this)

This was like a week ago or something , I know the way the relationship was going wasn't gonna last under the conditions it was going on at the time. Still doesn't take away the shitty feeling I have right now... So called best friend who's face I can't see anymore now and lost my girlfriend which I had good times with some very bad ones to but I dont like to focus/think about the bad things. Makes people to negative.

I haven't said everything since it would be way to long , but like the titel says I need some advice/help to get over her as soon as possible. I do still have feelings for her , only a heartless person could not have any feelings anymore after 3j's. (and only broke up a good week ago)


Heath

[freakme619]

Why not try to stop thinking of her. Slowly you'll know that your feelings for be gone. That's what I usually do since I experienced more likely your situation now. It's so hard to forget the one the you've love. But I tell you, I you still continue that feeling of yours, you'll be the one to suffer most. It's only you who can solve. I can advice you but it's within you determination to forget her. I know forgetting her is not easy. I've been through the same situation like you many times. I can only help you just by saying or shall I say, I'm encouraging you to stop thinking of her.

[RaymondT]

She accused you of having something with your sister? Why are you still thinking about this crazy girl? Only someone sick would come up with something like that. Just cut of contact from her and keep yourself busy.

[Heath]

Why not try to stop thinking of her. Slowly you'll know that your feelings for be gone. That's what I usually do since I experienced more likely your situation now. It's so hard to forget the one the you've love. But I tell you, I you still continue that feeling of yours, you'll be the one to suffer most. It's only you who can solve. I can advice you but it's within you determination to forget her. I know forgetting her is not easy. I've been through the same situation like you many times. I can only help you just by saying or shall I say, I'm encouraging you to stop thinking of her.

I will have to just keep my mind as busy as possible with other things. Isn't easy tho , I saw her practically everyday. There is something missing if you know what I mean.

[Heath]

She accused you of having something with your sister? Why are you still thinking about this crazy girl? Only someone sick would come up with something like that. Just cut of contact from her and keep yourself busy.

I know it sounds crazy and it is crazy but let me give you a background why she became this way. First when she was little her dad left her and ran of with a other woman and her first boyfriend cheated on her. This explains the extreme paranoia and jealousy. I know it isn't a excuse to behave this way but it becomes alot more understandable.

The problem is that she doesn't want to cut of all contact , and she would probably take me asking for no contact completely the wrong way.

But the thing that bothers me the most is I know when she wouldn't have this crazy jealousy we get along perfectly fine. And wouldn't be broken up..

[freakme619]

I will have to just keep my mind as busy as possible with other things. Isn't easy tho , I saw her practically everyday. There is something missing if you know what I mean.

Well, you kindda right, there's something missing. I guess that you're still angry on her that you can't accept you two broke up with each other? If my guess is right, try to give yourself a time to think or reflect about the situation. Give her time to be alone if you can. Or maybe you can ask her clearly if she still love you or not, ask her the reasons why she doesn't love you anymore. If you found out that her reasons are valid and truth, you must also tell her what wrong did she did. Being honest to each another can solve your situation on each other.

[Heath]

Well, you kindda right, there's something missing. I guess that you're still angry on her that you can't accept you two broke up with each other? If my guess is right, try to give yourself a time to think or reflect about the situation. Give her time to be alone if you can. Or maybe you can ask her clearly if she still love you or not, ask her the reasons why she doesn't love you anymore. If you found out that her reasons are valid and truth, you must also tell her what wrong did she did. Being honest to each another can solve your situation on each other.

Thx for replying , I am still angry you are right. But the thing is I don't want to get back together at this time because it would only turn out the same way again. She has some serious problems that I tried to help her on for 2j's already and it didn't help. Infact it got worse over time , so bad that I didn't want to go out with her anymore to avoid fights.

I think ( after conversations ) that it is not that we don't love eachother anymore but if you fight like 3-4 days a week over that jealousy problem something isn't right.

And the thing is , in her mind i'm the one who 'looks' at other women so i'm the one to blame not her for being mad at me for a totally bogus reason. She even had the guts to say ' you are locking me up ' while she was the one being mad everytime I went out without her.

So yeah you are totally right , I have alot of anger and frustration left inside me. For the most part its because I tried so hard to make this work.

I've seen her about 5 times I think after we broke up like 2-3 weeks ago. One of those times we ended up having sex. She wants to be 'friends with benefits' , thats no problem for me.

I just want those feelings I still have gone , they aren't that strong anymore but still. Does anyone think I should limit contact more then now?

thx