i am scared !

[kimberley]

I'm an 18 year old girl, i've been dating my boyfriend for about six months now. He's an amazing guy, family loves him, friends love him, we're totally compatible. He's smart, funny, treats me like GOLD. Here's the problem, I am scared. Of what you ask? well, I view myself as a realist, i tend to take realistic views on situations and how to deal with them. It's safe to say i love my boyfriend, i've never been in a serious relationship before, ever. i've had boys i would casually date, but when it got serious, i would instantly bail. Something about this one was different. My dad passed away when i was young and i think a few psychological security issues stemmed from that, i have an immense fear of getting hurt. Our relationship has been going great, with a few minor spats here and there, but always resolved with kind words. He tells me how he loves me, and truly does see himself building a life with me, he speaks of how he wants to wait a year after he's done college to stay with me so we can both move to ottawa ( where he has to go for his second part of college - and im willing to make the move) he's so sincere and all my friends think we are great together, they see us lasting, i'm told it all the time - when i get in my moods of uncertainty. Why these moods strike up is my problem, being the realist that i am i certainly have viewed other relationships fail, i'm only 18 years old and all the adults around me - except my mother, who for some reason actually sees us lasting ( and she thinks children are foolish to believe most relationships at our age will last) - think most teenage relationships wont last, i know im almost out of my teen years , but this image of failed teenage relationships has plagued me, i'm incredibly scared to let myself believe we will last in fear of us not working - causing a strain on our relationship, its causing me to become insecure and worried. I really do want us to last and i'd take any step to make it get there. he is the one i see myself with.. is this foolish? i suppose i need the help of someone expressing their views on the situation, someone who's mature and been through life experiences. i really just want to know if people feel as though we do have a chance of lasting - even though we are so young. any help is great, thanks a lot for any help!

[IndiReloaded]

Enjoy what you have now and tomorrow will take care of itself.

Generally, sounds like you don't have much to worry about. Did you know that young people your age, especially ones who have every reason to be happy, often make up drama out of boredom?

Find something else to think about. Something productive. Get a hobby, volunteer, learn a new language or skill. Increase your depth of personality. Don't overthink your relationship. At your age, THAT is a foolish thing to be doing.

[SAVANAH]

I agree you wasting your energy on this and you have nothing to worry about, you two seem great together and if it were meant to be you will be and if not life goes on, all this is part of life and growing up... you never really grow up cause you never stop learning...

Set you mind at ease and do what Indi said, It's hard but do you really want to live your life worrying about getting hurt, we all worry about it to some extend, but that's life.... we have way more important things to worry about in this day and age!

Don't stress girl!

[Reath]

You're not that heroine in Titanic...

[entrepreneur724]

It's great that you have found someone who really makes you happy. Everything seems to be going great and I wouldn't sweat it right now. Just be happy with him.

However, one thing to think about before you make any commitments to this person, is your views on a lot of things that don't come up until down the road, such as after having kids. I know that may be a ways out, but if you don't agree on these things, it probably won't work out anyhow.

Some examples of the things to compare you're views on are political views (democrat vs republican), religion, parenting (you can usually expect to parent similarly to how you were brought up). These are huge differences that most people don't think about until it comes up. I ALWAYS recommend that EVERYONE compares these views before they get to far in their relationships.

My wife and I have very different views on several things. This of course causes a lot of issues. I wish someone had told me what I just told you when I was your age.