Bored with My Relationship

[CrimsonPrincess]

I'm having a problem with my relationship of 1-1/2 years. Lately, the time my boyfriend and I spend together has been extremely uneventful. We don't go out, we hardly get intimate; we spend our time on the couch watching TV or sleeping. It has gotten extremely boring and I'm trying to figure out if I'm just being unreasonable or if my frustrations have merit.

I'm really busy with school so I only see him on a few choice weekends. When I do come over, part of me hopes that we'll do something fun and enjoy being a couple (heck, a walk around a park would be great), but I know that it's just another weekend of watching sports he recorded on his DVR, or me washing dishes because there's nothing better to do! We see each other so rarely I'd thought he be more excited to see me, but I'm starting to feel like I'm being taken for granted. This problem even extends to calling and texting; if I don't try to communicate, we don't talk.

Sometimes I think it's because of our age gap. I'm 24 and he's 42. We're obviously at completely different stages of life, both physically and emotionally. I guess he's a little more mellowed out because he's already "been there, done that" but I'm really having difficulty adapting to such a lifestyle. I'm horribly bored with our relationship and I have caught myself reminiscing how much more fun I had when I was single. Sometimes I worry that I'm cheating myself out of all the things that a normal 20-something year old would enjoy.

I've tried many things to pique his attention: suggesting some activities, being more affectionate, being more sexy, losing weight, gaining weight, everything short of doing back flips, but it doesn't help. I've tried talking to him, and he admitted to being a boring person, but doesn't seem willing to compromise a little. He invited me to move in with him, but I'm hesitant to do so because I'm already bored when I see him on occasion so I'll probably grow to resent him if I saw him more frequently and had more of the same.

I still have the same feelings I did since we started dating, and all I'm really asking is a little return on his behalf. Am I completely in the wrong here? Should I just cut my losses?

[Lipp]

I'm 24 and he's 42.

Durr. Had it coming, to be honest.

[kirig]

I'm 24 and he's 42.

Durr. Had it coming, to be honest.

im 22 and my father is 43..
you sure you want to spent the rest of your life with hiM?
i doubt if he loves you...coz he should also do his part so that he can make you happy...being a boring person is not a reason to show that youre important too...

[mishymags]

maybe this man is having relationship with other woman.. but try to talk to him maybe his have a problem..

[CrimsonPrincess]

@Lipp: Gee, thanks for the generalization. Now, can I counter with my own? Most men are just little boys in grown up bodies so it shouldn't matter what his age should be. See, what you gave me wasn't advice, and last I checked, this was an advice thread so when you're done attempting to be witty, come back.

@Kirig: Unfortunately, you and Lipp have gotten so focused at the age gap that you're not really helping me solve my issue. My issue isn't that I'm concerned that he's old enough to be my father. He doesn't act like one around me. Though I do agree with the second part of your statement, despite the fact that it doesn't help me now. It's obvious to anyone that you should make the person you love feel important, but I can't get him to move in the right direction.

[Bumble_bee]

Has it been like this since you guys got together, orit is this lack of enthusiasm on his part more recent?

It really depends on what you want out of this relationship, I would feel a bit neglected, especially as you guys dnt see eachother everyday. You also say there is no intimacy, how long has this been going on?

Have a tlak with him, tell him how your feeling......it might be that he is so comfortable with you, he doesn't realise you miss going out and having fun with him...

[Gigabitch]

My issue isn't that I'm concerned that he's old enough to be my father. He doesn't act like one around me.

He doesn't act like a boyfriend either. If you didn't want to start an argument about the age gap, you wouldn't have mentioned the fact that he's almost twice your age. You're derailing your own thread. Nice work.

Regardless of how old he is, he's a dragass and a shitty boyfriend. What the **** are you thinking, doing his dishes because there's "nothing else to do"? I can think of one hundred other things to do with myself than some slacker's dishes while he sits on the couch watching sports.

What could you possibly be getting out of this relationship to make him worth your while?

[girl68]

Your age IS the issue, which is why we're focusing on it. Watching TV and sports IS what I did with my father amoung other boring things. Much like what you describe here.

You're young you want excitement, he's old he wants to relax. You are simply not compatible.

But we could have told you that had you posted a long time ago regarding hestitation to persue a man as old as your father.

[doppelgaenger]

Threads like these turn my briefs brown from laughing. This is the next season after the I-love-my-professor season.