High school relationship problem (please take it seriously)

[Sydneyite]

Okay, so first off I just want to point out I am in high school and if you don't want to give advice about relationships relating to that, don't.

Okay so here's the situation, the year 10 formal (or 'prom' for you americans) is coming up in the next couple of months and there is a girl at my school that I have been talking to quite a lot lately, albeit quite flirty too, and I have been consdering just asking her out as well a to the formal.

I have a male friend (i'm not best mates with him, but I do talk to him at least once a day) that is also friends with this girl and talks to her a alot as well.

A couple days ago, he asked her out to the formal but stating something along the lines of "you're my last resort, I have no one else to go with" and my female friend was absolutely devastated after this and was on the verge of tears etc. and then he apologised. The next day she heard a rumour (that was true) that he was bragging/talking about this. And now, she has told me she is definetly not going to go to formal with him from that.

Ok now I've got that out of the way I want to add that I talk to this girl quite alot, as well in a flirty sense, but I am not sure if I am in 'the friend zone' or not. I guess this friend zone isn't that much of an issue in asking her out, but it still sort of is an issue I guess..

Now I've come to the decision whether or not / when I am to give it a go and ask her on a date and/or the formal.
I know this sounds selfish, but I don't really care about hurting my male friend in the act of asking her out as he hurt my female friend.

So I guess my question is, how long do I leave before asking her out (to give her some emotional relief from this guy) AND maybe some tips on doing so?
As I've never really had a real girlfriend before (I'm just going on 16 y.o. btw)

[Charlie Boy II]

Do it tomorrow man! Don't leave her hanging, just ask her so she can stop worrying about who she's going with and start worrying about what dress she's going to wear etc, etc.

Your right as well: f-ck that other guy. He actually did you a favour, though.

[Sydneyite]

Do you think I should ask her out once or twice before asking her to the formal (prom)? Or just go for it?

I only say this though as I've only been talking to her this like this and been this close to her for a month max.

Cheers for the help, I truly appreciate it.

[Charlie Boy II]

no just ask her to the formal. You don't have to make your girlfriend yet, just ask her if she wants to go with you. If she likes you, you'll probably hook up at the formal.

And I'm from Sydney as well, I know what a formal is.

[Sydneyite]

alright thanks bro, I'll go for it.

[Charlie Boy II]

good man. ....

[Sydneyite]

should I just straight up ask her or say like "I know you're still reeling/hurt from what happened [male friends name]" but... then blah blah ask her? (because I don't really want to give her too much pressure unless that's maybe what I should be doing? I don't know..)

sorry If these questions are a little raw/dumb, but I haven't had any 'real' experience so far with asking a girl out (or in this case to the formal) properly in my high schooling life...=\

[Charlie Boy II]

Just ask her, ''hey, do you want to go the formal together?'' Forget all that other stuff.

[Cain]

K.I.S.S.

Keep it simple, stupid.

You definitely shouldn't feel bad. The male friend ****ed up by being a rude ass.

And don't worry about the friend zone. It doesn't exist much in high school. Friends date all the time. It's when you get older that women start to separate friends from potential dates.

[chump4u]

Your asshole of a friend just pissed on a girl, and you think you need to wait before you hand her a towel?

I agree with most of the other answers you've got so far: Ask the girl out. Ask her out today. Right now.

After the way that guy treated her she's probably feeling miserable and rejected, and the best "emotional relief" she can possibly get will come from having a nice guy like you ask her to the formal.

[miSSleepy]

Ask her right away, as this will give her emotional relief much better than you waiting.

[Sydneyite]

thanks so much for your replies guys...

but uh oh i think I'm in a bit of a conundrum now. It's the weekend and I haven't seen in her person right, so I couldn't have asked her, but....

I was talking to her on msn and she's be talking to me about the formal in general and she seemed really kind of annoyed about the formal situation, and I made a bad decision by asking her what gave her the mindset of being hesitant about going. And i'll quote what she said: " this whole thing where everyones pressured to "go with" someone pisses me off you know?
like its yr 10, why cant people just go with their friends "
"this shit makes guys act funny"

I'm not sure if she's just still really pissed off after what my male friend did or if she really means it though...

she also was talking and said: "*the shit with (the male friend), and then someone else tells my friends hes gonna ask me to it, but doesnt know coz "lots may happen between now and then" blah blah blah and then someone else was full hinting theyre gonna ask me"

"i just want to throw bricks at them all"

I've started to really develop feelings for this girl in last week or so and now I have no Idea whether or not I should be asking her to the formal after what she's told me today. ughh.

What's your advice guys?

[Charlie Boy II]

I'm not surprised she's annyoed. That was a really low act of your mate's.

People always say "I hate this pressure to go with someone" and "why can't people just go with friends,'' when they don't have anyone to go with, or they're freaking out about being asked. It's standard.

Don't worry about it. Do it tomorrow. Just ask her.

[vashti]

" this whole thing where everyones pressured to "go with" someone pisses me off you know?
like its yr 10, why cant people just go with their friends "
"this shit makes guys act funny"

I'm not sure if she's just still really pissed off after what my male friend did or if she really means it though...

Too bad it didn't occur to you sooner, but you could have laughed and said "is this a hint that I shouldn't ask you?"

[Sydneyite]

ugh, my bad dream that i had last night has been realised..

she has reconciliated and is now talking to my male friend once again (I don't know what to tell you...i guess she's a teenager that's the only reason).

in addition she has been talking to me about her formal probelms which she has asked to keep 'completely secret' and how she doesn't particuarly want to go with this guy, but may still go with him, although there is another guy she has mentioned there was rumors might ask her out but she doesn't want to hurt him etc etc. I asked her who this guy was, but then realised what was happening (we are close friends and not so much boyfriend/girlfriend material) and said i didn't want to know and couldn't be the one to help her with her dilemma in this particular situation.

she was joyful and fine with that.
basically what i'm trying to say is that she probably would considers me too much of a friend. this thought has been in the back of my head all this time as you can see i quickly mentioned it in the first post...so i didn't ask her today. sorry guys.

i guess i am going to be grateful she is talking to me as much as she is as and considers me as much of a close friend to tell me this + not take this for granted.

i know what i'm about to say may sound spiteful or selfish to some people, but it really is not. because I am in love with this girl.. I am probably just going to talk to her in the short period of time on the way home tomorrow that i can and ask her about her formal problems and say that if she doesn't want to choose or can't choose or it is too stressful, (and be a bit sneaky here) 'being a good friend and all, if you don't have anyone you want to go with, i will go with you...' and say something about there being no pressure, and that i am there for her.
If she says no, it will probably kill me every time i see her with another guy, but I think i'll survive =] (plus a lot can happen in the 3 months till the formal i guess).

I kind of gather that we are this close in terms of 'good friends' because she has said this (after she asked me what i was doing and i said just 'thinking' or 'pondering' or some crap like that) "nawwwh, well im here if you need to, youve heard enough of my shit"

anyway, i'm a wreck now haha, so i appreciate any suggestions, and I greatly appreciate all feedback i have gotten so far.

thanks again.