I feel guilty...

[RouRou]

I am at a point in my life where everything is changing.

I was in a relationship with a guy who I live with for the last year. I should have ended things sooner but I had invested so much and wanted it to work. We are currently broke up but still live together for the time being. I had kicked him out, but he came back and is now singing a different tune, being really nice, sweet, helping out and really trying not to argue.

My problem is, Im on my way to independence again. I started a great new job, Im starting to see and talk to my friends more and be more open to them about my relationship and what has happened. Now that my ex is being so nice again I find myself getting confused.

When you date someone and they do something that you do not agree with or they have personality traits that do not suit your lifestyle I tend to have issues accepting my own personal limits. I have a hard time saying "no, this is not right for me, this person is not right for me" and I try to accept them for who they are and that they are different but I end up being unhappy. I feel guilty looking out for whats best for me. I dont want to be a selfish person in life but I want to be happy because I know that life is short and we get one shot...how can I fix this?

[Graham Berkeley]

Well being aware you have this problem is the first step. All I could say is watch yourself and make sure you are living by your new creedo.

[Gigabitch]

If he can keep up the New Him for six months, I'll believe it. Right now, he's just trying to get you back.

[Disillusioned]

Comprimise is your prerogative. The hard part is figuring how far you can bend and still know you're improving yourself or how far you can bend and still be comfortable. If you choose to be uncomprimising you will practice it and reinforce your decision so it's important to be careful not to lose your point of reference and risk becoming a loner set in your ways.

[emilygray]

No need to feel guilty about wanting to be happy! It's not selfish to organize your life around your own happiness. Good for you for standing up for yourself and going for that independence! Continue on the way you've started, and things will work out. Listen to your heart and what you really want, then go in that direction - and don't worry about what other people think you "should" want!