i always find myself stuck in the same trap..

[trapped]

i've been doing some thinking and realized that in the past 6 years, all 5 girls i've liked have had boyfriends at the time that i started liking them (only one of them wasn't long-term)

so i've constantly been stuck in the same trap. i end up talking to the girl regularly (because who DOESN'T like talking to the person you like? it makes me feel good) and every one of these girls has loved me....as a friend. i'm not just assuming that, they would say it themself.

i don't think this is the typical "nice guys finish last/are always viewed as friends" saga, because when a girl has a boyfriend what can you really expect?

but im sick of always being attracted to girls that i don't have a chance with. i want to change, but i dont know how. i just always realize that i end up liking the girls who, even if they wanted to date me, can't.

[FullofSighs]

You can always be there for them. Like in long term relationships im sure the girl(s) will be hurt for a while, and if you can give them the emotional support they need, they may realize that your really a great guy and possibly end up becoming your next girlfriend.

[Gigabitch]

Are they somehow "safe" for you to like because if you can't go after them they can't reject you?

[trapped]

yeah that's part of it i believe.

[Kat14]

I think Gigabitch is right, I think that you fall for these girls because they are 'safe', they are unlikely or unable in a sense to reject you. I have a friend like you, I hate watching him do that to himself.
You need to stop talking to girls in relationships and start focusing on girls who are single, even if it's just for friendship, it will open up a lot more (healthier) oportunities for you to start a relationship with them later or meet someone nice through them.

[Raze]

Focus on girls who are single. You don't want to have the label of "girl friend" stealer. The bfs will hunt you down and castrate you (worse-case-scenario). Focus on girls that are single, don't be the rebound guy - you don't want baggage in a relationship - that's the worst.

Raze

[CocoChanel]

I agree with Giga too.
You should definitely take Kat's advice.

[Graham Berkeley]

I don't totally understand your situation, trapped. The couple times I've been attracted to a girl who had a boyfriend I went for it and got them. Them having a boyfriend can actually make things easier in some ways.

[CocoChanel]

Yeah but he's not scoring them. LOL!
That's the problem!

[trapped]

I don't totally understand your situation, trapped. The couple times I've been attracted to a girl who had a boyfriend I went for it and got them. Them having a boyfriend can actually make things easier in some ways.

Like I said, most of them were in serious, long-term relationships.
So I got categorized as the friend.

[Graham Berkeley]

Like I said, most of them were in serious, long-term relationships.
So I got categorized as the friend.

That isn't why you got categorized as a friend. You got stuck there because of the way you act around them. If you act like a friend you will be a friend.

[trapped]

A girl in a 2 year + relationship isn't exactly going to see guys as boyfriend prospects