Does this account to cheating? Need your views. Please read.

[JoinedForThisQ]

Hey,

I have a girlfriend whom I love a lot and so does she. We've been together for a while now, around 2 years.

In this time, I've also known this other girl with whom I've come to be attached. We share no physical intimacy, but somehow we just share this thing. It's like I take care of her like a boyfriend would and I'm always concerned about her. And, likewise with her as well. I just have to know what she's doing, where she is, whether she's fine or not. She's at my workplace. We rarely get the time to talk, during work or even outside work. But we're always in touch using messages, sometimes, 20 times a day. It's difficult to explain, but we find ourselves taking care of each other to the minutest detail. But, I repeat, there's nothing physical, NOTHING at all. She has a boyfriend as well and she also knows that I have a girlfriend.

Till now, I used to think that this is just fine. However, since I didn't tell my girlfriend about this, it's just been bothering me a lot and now I wonder whether this amounts to emotional cheating. I want your views on the same. And if you think it is cheating, please tell me what I could do. I love my girlfriend a lot but I couldn't imagine not taking care/being in touch with the girl from work. Precisely this question which made me join the forum.

Regards

[miSSleepy]

It depends... I mean, I could say that since you're concerned, then there's something to be concerned about. But, on the other hand, having a girlfriend doesn't mean people stop being emotionally attached to other people, whatever sex they are.

With this other girl... do you find her physically attractive? And by that I don't mean "do you think she's good looking" I mean: do you think about being with her physically, are you attracted to her?

Do you find yourself being more emotionally concerned with her, as opposed to your gf? Are you more in contact with her or your gf? Are you happy in al other areas with your relationship?

[JoinedForThisQ]

That's a question I really don't want to answer..not even to myself. It's just become a habit, i'm just so used to taking care of her and her me. (

And as regards "Do you find yourself being more emotionally concerned with her, as opposed to your gf?". No, I don't.
"Are you happy in all other areas with your relationship?" Yes, I'm happy about everything.

So then, is not telling her about this cheating?

[miSSleepy]

what's a question you don't want to answer?

[JoinedForThisQ]

I mean: do you think about being with her physically, are you attracted to her?

[miSSleepy]

you not wanting to answer that, means YES.

So, I believe in emotionally cheating - some people don't.
You're emotionally attached.
You're in contact with her every day, alot.
You're physically attracted to her.
= you have an issue here.

Keeping in mind those things, emotional attachment, physical attraction, frequent contact, you're being a selfish dolt by continuing this.

Work out which girl you want and stop screwing around with other people and your relationship.

[Gigabitch]

It's cheating and you know it. You're cheating with your heart, your mind and your attention, not your dick, but it's still a betrayal and you aren't even fooling yourself.

You're giving something that you should be giving to your girlfriend to someone else.

[JoinedForThisQ]

Oh come on guys..if i was attracted to her..i'm pretty sure i'd have had a weak moment in all this time. Save me some slack please. Please tell me it's not that bad.

[Bumble_bee]

if you thought it was ok...you would not be here, now would you..

[PsychoPink]

Pish, my ex did this.

Google Work Spouse.

I felt like shit when my ex did this (and he stopped talking to her once he realized something wasn't right about it) and he wasn't even attracted to the girl.

Man up and save the caring and attentiveness for your girlfriend.

[url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Work_spouse[/url]

[PsychoPink]

Oh come on guys..if i was attracted to her..i'm pretty sure i'd have had a weak moment in all this time. Save me some slack please. Please tell me it's not that bad.

I'm pretty sure you didn't come here to ask about this, expecting us just to tell you what you want to hear.

[JoinedForThisQ]

I wish to set things right guys. Please tell me what I should do. Should I tell my girlfriend about it?

[ilikebuttons]

is this your way of having the best of both worlds? it only ends up hurting everyone in the end.

[Bumble_bee]

your talking to everyone BUT your gf...grow some bags will you!

[Gigabitch]

I wish to set things right guys. Please tell me what I should do. Should I tell my girlfriend about it?

No, you should not tell your girlfriend about it. She might think you're looking for permission and be insecure enough about appearing cool that she tells you it's okay, which it isn't. You should stop doing it.

This doesn't mean you can't be friendly with other women, but you're crossing a line. You shouldn't be "taking care" of her.