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Thread: Confusion in the bed

  1. #1
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    Confusion in the bed

    Hey guys,
    I'm a 25 year old female. And my bf is 31.
    I'm having some issues with my bf in the bed and thought I would ask for some input. In hopes someone could explain.

    The two of us have really high sex drives and tend to have sex quite often. However I am beginning to get bored of it.
    We have been dating for a little over 2 months now. I notice that he has issues with his erection. EVERYTIME we have sex, it starts off by me giving him a blow-job that lasts 30 mins MINIMUM. He says he cannot and has never came by oral sex before. (although I have accomplished this once) I thought that odd, but brushed it off.
    Afterwards, we have sex. ALWAYS doggy-style or me laying on top of him so he can thrust upwards. (But I cant move, or he'll lose the errection) and this too lasts a minimum of an hour. With no ejaculation in between. Ive tried to get on top and work my magic, but he gets limp instantly. I know I dont suck at it, because Ive never had problems like this ever before, with anyone else. I asked him why this was, and he said that my vagina tightens up wayyy too much and its like it takes on new form?? And then he gets scared of hurting his penis and gets soft.
    Often I will lay in doggy for a good hour while he busts his ass off in sweat trying to cum. Sometimes he can, sometimes he can't.

    The other night he stopped penatrating me analy after an hour to stand up and put some porn on and masturbate. He's been watching is more often. It seems like he can cum faster/better with porn. He got frustrated because he couldnt cum and I said something to him. He has been getting everything he wants, plus some for 7 weeks, and he has NEVER gone down on me once. I can't cum unless it's from oral sex. I told him and he said he didnt think I liked it. ( I never gave that impression once) That was an excuse of course. I told him Im frustrated that Im never cumming. He said now that he knew, he would. Well he hasn't.

    As you can see our sexual relationship is frustrating beyond. I have to go home and mastubate without him, in order to get off.

    Can someone please explain to me:
    why this guy takes so long to cum?
    Why is it that when I am on top, he loses his errection?
    What does he mean about my vagina taking on new form and hurting him?
    Is he watching porn because I'm not doing something right?
    How can someone not ejactulate form oral sex?
    And if he doesnt like giving oral, why is he telling me he loves it and and not doing it?

    Im at my whitts end and think Im gonna break it off with him. This is far too overwhelming and frustrating. He makes me feel as though Im not adaquate.

    Anxiously awaiting for your replies.




    Last edited by SummersLove; 05-10-09 at 07:38 AM.

  2. #2
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    Does he have an addiction to porn?

    Has he had these problems in the past?

    Is he attracted to you?

    Is everything else in the relationship alright?

  3. #3
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    I can't really answer these questions.
    I asked him if he was addicted to porn, he said no.
    I assume he is attracted to me, he acts like he is.
    Everything else in the relationship is good. However sometimes I feel like I'm a booty call, but that may be because we have sex a lot. I'm starting to get bad feelings about him.
    He told me that he's never had the problem with the "vaginal transformation" thing before. And that he has never had a problem while a girl was on top before. But I dont believe him, I think he's trying to put his problem on me. I have never had any problems before.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by SummersLove View Post

    Can someone please explain to me:

    why this guy takes so long to cum? Either he has a physical problem or is de-sensitized from too much sex or masturbation

    Why is it that when I am on top, he loses his errection? Usually we only lose an erection if we're not getting proper stimulation. Possibly related to the previous question, or for whatever reason you guys don't "fit" well together

    What does he mean about my vagina taking on new form and hurting him? I have no idea, unless you're subconsciously tightening for your own pleasure and it's affecting him. I've never heard of or experienced anything like that

    Is he watching porn because I'm not doing something right? No, but it does mean he wants to be aroused by seeing other women than you, which isn't really a good thing

    How can someone not ejactulate form oral sex? It could be related to some issue with his lack of sensitivity or perhaps you're technique doesn't work for him. It is true, some women are exceptionally good at this, some aren't

    And if he doesnt like giving oral, why is he telling me he loves it and and not doing it? I agree with you, that doesn't add up, something's not right there

    I know you're having sex alot, but keep in mind that most couples do for the first few months. It's quite normal for people with chemistry and attraction to steal pleasure with and from each other literally every chance they can get.

    The main thing I'm sensing here is that maybe there's something about you that either doesn't do it for him or turns him off when you're having sex in some way. I don't mean that in a sense that you're not sexy or attractive, I'm sure you are, but sometimes chemistry clicks with people you don't really expect it, not necessarily the best looking.

  5. #5
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    Wait.

    Vaginal transformation?

    So you weren't always a female?

  6. #6
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    When I asked him what the heckhe was talking about, about my vagina taking on a new form, he did say that it feels like I am toghtening up and that it gets "too" tight. I am tightening for my pleasure, because I can feel him better when I do so. I just dont get why me tightening up would cause him to go limp. Wouldnt that make it more satisfying for him too? Sometimes when I laugh I also shoot him out of my vagina. Maybe I am too tight or something, I have no clue.
    It does bother me that he can just stop sex and watch porn, I mean it makes me feel terrible.
    I have always been able to give good oral to my previous lovers. He said he has never been able to achieve this.
    Thanks for the reply!!

  7. #7
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    Frasbee, thats what he called it when I tightened up. Haha.

  8. #8
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    Oh!

    Phew, I was about to say, this is out of my league, if that were the case.

    Yeah, I'd say don't squeeze too hard. I find it uncomfortable if it's too tight.

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