Woman not interested in me

[bazM]

I am a total failure with woman. I have never been in a proper relationship and I am 21.

Im not sure if my problem is that I am far too sensitive. I have been played in the past by woman and treated very badly so I just have this sense of wortheless to woman. Woman never really seem interested in me as If I am no good to them, this makes me feel vey ugly and down.

All I ever try and do is treat them nice but all they ever seen to be interested in is the bad guys. I am a thin guy so nowhere near muscly...which is what girls like the muscly bad and cocky guys.

What I am most scared of is never being with someone special. Never being truly happy with that special someone as I beleive that is what life is all about.

I have always been told that the right one will come around when your not looking for it. But I have done that approach in the past. When I was 16 - 18 I solely concentrated on my studies. I attended college and uni and got a BSC in a computing relating subject. I was never interested in being with someone but as time progressed. I left uni, got a job etc and all my mates by this time had girlfriends and were losing touch with me as they were all spending time with their partners.

Does anyone else ever feel like this? Like your invisible and of no good to woman? What makes it worse for me is that I have developed a very bad back problem. I have a very chronic painful back which keeps me in pain most of the days and has given me bad posture. The loe self esteem and pyschological problems going through my head are at their highest point they have ever been in my life.

Because of my past. I suppose I am scared of woman. I am scared of being cheated upon and scared of being played by woman because I have been in the past. Because of this, I am a very shy and anxious guy and I will never approach girls (that I am attracted to), because I feel that the girls I am attracted to are the ones I am just not good enough for and they will play me or treat me bad.

I have a good job, good education, nice car. The only missing jigzaw puzzle in my life is the love of my life. I would give up everything to fall in love with someone special who will fall in love with me. I just feel like im destined to be one of these people who are just destined not to find the one.

I have attatched a pic of myself with fake glasses...ignore the smile...it is a very very fake smile as I may look happy on the outside but on the inside I am very far from being just that.

[loudrims_inc]

i think its those pink glasses...pls get rid of them...also, dont smile too much, it makes u look gay(especially with pink glasses)...u should put another rock in your other ear, u should also cut ya hair down a little...i think that will help

[girl68]

You're cute.

But you're also desperate.

There's not much to say that I'm sure you haven't heard before. Half of what you say is complete bullshit, the other half is true but it is also bullshit.

Women do not want muscle-y asshole jocks. Some do, lots don't. You have been played by young, immature girls that are not your type.

You must also do yourself a favor. Look at things objectively. While you're not hidesously ugly (far from it- I was expecting much worse...) you're also not a "football star". That said you should be going for girls that are in your league. I'll get to the "league debate later". Girls in your league are far from ugly, in fact they could be super cute but they will be very different from the party animal, little miss tight ass, short mini skirt, hot thangs you'll find in clubs. Don't go for the girl that all the guys are after, don't go after the one who knows she's the bomb. Go for the cutie in the corner who is suttle and shy. OK, so I'm pointing out steyotpes, shoot me. I'm trying to get you to see my point. Be realistic in your expectations about the girls you have interest in. I hope I got that point across.

There are lots of girls who won't cheat on you, and many who long for a guy to be so desperatlely corny its funny. (Though you should minimize your desperado act- just a touch... at least in the begginning). So there's hope.

And yes, often times it will hit you when you least expect it, but not always.

In the meantime have some hope. Keep busy with things you like to do. Loving someone shouldn't be the center of your universe. Firstly, that's a bad habit, secondly- that's scary. That's worse than the clingy one night stand that is a girl who can't take a hint :S.

Back to that age old "league" debate. Yes, there are leagues, yes they can be intertwinded, but yes they do exsist.
I'm am not a supermadel forever 21 young lady. I would never assume that I could score with the captain of the champion NFL football team. (For example). It's called being realistic.

[loudrims_inc]

...ALSO, when u approach a woman, u should be confident but not over confident(dont act like a douche), offer to buy the lady a drink, say something funny but not offensive...just be cool when u approach her

[bazM]

thanks for your comments guys....the pink glasses were a joke...they weren't mine they were my cousins. I just took a daft picture with them on.

Thanks for your comment girl68 I can really relate to what your saying. I just wish I could be with a girl who is just like me. The quiet shy girl. But if we are both quiet and shy how am I ever going to meet her. I will admit...my confidence is not the greatest. My confidence is okay around people...whom I'm not attracted to. (why am I like this?).

[girl68]

Thanks for your comment girl68 I can really relate to what your saying. I just wish I could be with a girl who is just like me. The quiet shy girl. But if we are both quiet and shy how am I ever going to meet her. I will admit...my confidence is not the greatest. My confidence is okay around people...whom I'm not attracted to. (why am I like this?).

Well even shy people have to break their comfort zone at some point!

Stop "wishing", it's lame and going to get you nowhere, nor will it get you pity.

Befriend sweet girls, and get to know them, get comfortable in the company of a lady.

And your confidence is low around girls you like becasue you've never been sucessful. You don't care about the girls you don't like therefore you don't care what they think of you, therefore your confidence around them isn't hurting. You care about the girls you like, and wonder what they think of you and you take a downward spiral for the worst...

Keep trying, if you never try- you'll never suceed. And when you do try, you will fail- often. It's the sad hard truth about dating. But somewhere, sometime you'll get a yes.

[savatreatabvr]

You got some excellent advice from these ladies, use it!

[Gigabitch]

Baz, you're adorable in a nice-guy, not-a-caveman way.

Let me tell you a story. There was this guy, let's call him Kyle. His life was one bad relationship after another. He got a girl pregnant and they gave the child up for adoption because she had no interest in raising it. He even got married once and his wife was cheating on him within a month. He was cute, sweet and kind, but he was just a big loser, romantically. What was amazing was that he never gave up hoping that he could find someone to appreciate him.

Then he met Carrie. She was absolutely PERFECT for him. He fell for her, hard, and she fell for him too. They got married and had a baby and are now so disgustingly happy that they make onlookers a bit ill.

When Kyle finally met Carrie, he was FORTY years old. Yes, it can take this long. Yes, it's worth waiting for.

Baz, try to make yourself as interesting as possible to attract a wide variety of people. Keep your expectations reasonable but don't despair. You will find love.

[bazM]

for some reason I just cant keep thinking how much of a failure I am with woman. I have nothing else to really want in my life. Iv got my good job, got my degree, got my dignity and im just starting my own small business. The only area that is keeping me back from achieving happiness is love.

Every girl I have ever been involved with have used me as rebounders or just used me for money and my kindess etc. It might sound selfish but I really do hate woman because of the way I have been treated by them. I am now really scared of them and find it very difficult to trust them.

The only woman that I know are ever interested in me, are the woman that I'm not interested in. And the woman that I'm interested in...well I get it drilled into my head that im not good enough for them and they aren't intersted in me.

I find it really hard to try not let woman get me down.

You know, I have written a small book/piece of text about my life and my thoughts if anyone is bored enough to read it. It is on my website which there is a link on my profile.

Trying to feel good enough is very difficult but i am working on raising my self esteem and confidence.

[Chriso]

hi read all the basics here on this site it really helps ...

Edit by Gigabitch: Nope. I'm not going to let you post links to dating advice sites here. If he wanted to be a player, he wouldn't be asking here.

[bazM]

The only thing that seems to be helping me here, is music.

Lonliness is the most unhapppiest feeling in the universe.

[polishchicka]

don't give up !
get yourself out there and look for similar personalities, and similar outlooks on life.
if she's not like you whatsoever and doesn't respect who you are, don't go for her, because
you will just be wasting your own precious time. take time, but don't take an extreme amount of time.
get to know the girl and everything will turned out as you planned. and don't force yourself onto
anyone because that will make you seem useless and pathetic.
BE YOURSELF !
ps... i like a guy thats skinny and not really mussly, it doesn't matter fully on how your body is
and how you look like. just be the person you want to be and live your life !

[Infern0]

Im a guy but still ill give you some advice.

Put some weight on, bulk up a bit, get rid of those glasses, and sort out your fashion sense.

its cosmetic stuff but you need a confidence booster, and this will boost your confidence i think