advice??

[okman43]

hello all, new to the forum here.

i would love to hear the various opinions on an issue that i have been dealing with recently.

i have been seeing this girl for several months. we are very close friends and lovers and have plans of getting married in the next year or so and starting a full time life together.

she has only been divorced for a few months and she has a 6 year old son that spends most of his time with her but goes back and forth to his dads 2 nights a week and every other weekend for visits.

their divore was pretty much mutual, she may have wanted it a little more than he did but they both admit the relationship was over years ago and its was time for them to both move on with their lives.


ok, thats enough background.. on to the problem!! lol

this may sound silly and inmaterial to some of you and if so please tell me.

i have made my house as comfortable for her as possible. re arranged furniture, taken any pictures down and removed any items from my x that may make her un comfortable in my house. but, in her house she still has pictures of her and her x hanging on the walls, sitting on the shelfs
, stuck to the refrigerator.... it seems everytime i turn a corner there is a picture of her and him staring at me, and it makes me a little uncomfortable.
and to be honest it makes me wonder if she really is ready to move on. i mean we are talking about where we want to get married and honeymoon all the while there is a pic of her and her x staring at me!

her response is that she is leaving them up for her son and i can understand that to some level. but on another level it could be confusing him even more. it seems that the pictures could at least be put in her sons bedroom.

she has asked me on two occasion why i dont come to her house as much as she come to mine, and i explained to her why and that it bothered me a little.

i didnt ask her to remove them or anything like that, but both time the subject came up she flew off the handle and basically asked me to leave.


so..... lets hear it!! am i asking to much?? should i forget about it?? should i run??


( sorry for such a long first post!! )

[Enigmos]

don't think you're asking too much, especially if you two have discussed a long term future together. has she mutually expressed an interest in wanting to be married, or is this more your thought?

i think the kid excuse is a cop out. when i had a relationship with someone who had a kid, he didn't have pictures up of his ex. to me, it sounds like she isn't ready to move on to you, at least in an emotional sense. (i.e., are you a good paycheck to her?)

[okman43]

don't think you're asking too much, especially if you two have discussed a long term future together. has she mutually expressed an interest in wanting to be married, or is this more your thought?

yes, the long term future together was a mutual idea.

i think the kid excuse is a cop out. when i had a relationship with someone who had a kid, he didn't have pictures up of his ex. to me, it sounds like she isn't ready to move on to you, at least in an emotional sense. (i.e., are you a good paycheck to her?)

hmmm, never thought about the "good paycheck" thing, but i dont think that is really an issue. but, i do wonder if she is truly ready to move on with her life. i guess she hasnt done much to make me think that she is really ready to put her past behind her.