Shall I be offended?

[lightning]

So this guy whom I hold high expectation of, treated me like an angel yet never asked me out
and today while we were talking he told me "sometimes its really helpfull to just have fun .. I mean we shouldn't always worry whether the relationship is heading somewhere or not sometimes just fun between 2 people is good .. I don't know if that sounds weird to u !"
I know he was telling me aloud that this is going no where.
But somehow I feel insulted and like I'm the one to be have fun with

Is it time to close on that guy?

[Illusional]

why don't YOU ask him out instead?

raverboy

[jdm95si]

sounds like he just doesnt have an interest in you. sounds like a "booty call" almost to me.

[lightning]

I dont know if its really only a "booty call" because honestly this guy is a director and his last short movie had lots of kisses and so and so..
But we were friends for long enough and we talk alot, lately I've been having crush on him and since then he started to act very weirdly..
He calls me nicknames, and honey and darling...
and he's being too sweet to me yet all the sweetness sound so fake to me (maybe I'm being wrong)
Could it be only booty call?
You know I want to go made at him but I cant find the right reason..I'm very confused
Shall I stop talking to him out of the blue? please advice, I'm losing my mind and no one here to talk to..

Not to mention that he sent me the song of britney spears "having my fun" and he said it reminds him of me :

I'm just a crazy kind of girl
I'll tell it to the world
I've just begun having my fun
Inside me there's something I found
I wanna shop around
I just begun
Don't wanna settle down
The conversation was going over 'til I turned my hair
He started touching me and kissing me
Like he didn't care
I thought at first I should go home
But then fell asleep in the chair
All I gotta say is
I just wanna have some fun
And I'll do it until I'm done
I'm telling you
I'm just a crazy kind of girl
I'll tell it to the world
I've just begun having my fun

[Lethargic]

Honestly, it doesn't sound like he has an interest in you, but that may not be the case at all. Pick a time to have a serious conversation with him and just ask. Only he knows whats going on in his head. At least you'll get closure...

[Bumble_bee]

oh he wants to bed you for sure...and thats it...all that sugar coated talk is to help you along.....your choice.

[jdm95si]

oh he wants to bed you for sure...and thats it...all that sugar coated talk is to help you along.....your choice.

thats what it sounds like to me.

look at it this way, if he were really interested in something with you he'd be taking more action rather than just the stuff he is doing now. also, because you like him, you are infact going to view anything he does towards you as a possible sign of affection or him trying to say something when it could not be at all.

i've supposedly led tons of girls on this way, when honest to god, i never even thought about them more than simply a friend.

best bet is talk to him, dont let him bullshit you either, the anwser is yes or no if you want to get out of this emotional rut your in. if he respects you at all he wont bullshit you with a "i dont know right now" answer, hes just saving you for a booty call.

[lightning]

Thanks for all your support. I was losing my mind this week and you know I didnt get it as a booty call. somehow today everything really make sense to me, I was looking through the archive of our messenger (we do use messenger at times) and I remember that I hinted him that its more than friend and his reply was

"we're not friends we are close friends and that's ok .. we should like each others a lot but that doesn't mean that we gonna be in love .. I mean we don't wanna mess the great friendship that we have .. and believe me you are in the same place I am which is best friends "

and afterward he started to act really weird as I mentioned but looking through this again, I related that Maybe he changed his mind and decided he likes me more than a friend.
But now I realized through what you said to me, that he is only taking the advantage of my feelings.
I bet the case is closed I will try to be more formal with him. I dont think I need a friend that is that close to call me honey and mess with my head every time we meet

[pisces7378]

It's going nowhere. He isn't into you. Anyone who makes those kinds of comments is making it to prevent you from making an awkward mistake. Take a deep breath. Realize that you are fantastic!!! And move on.

[lightning]

Its sad when all you want in the world is to forget about him and he simple count me as "his cute best friend" ...I hate this world

[Disillusioned]

Stop pretending rules exist for these things. Ask clear questions. If you don't get clear answers, take it as a no. Don't go off signs, gestures, intuitions, signals(does anyone understand yet why subtlety is confusing? Because it's subtle!).

[pisces7378]

Stop pretending rules exist for these things. Ask clear questions. If you don't get clear answers, take it as a no. Don't go off signs, gestures, intuitions, signals(does anyone understand yet why subtlety is confusing? Because it's subtle!).

These are absolute pearls of wisdom. There are NO RULES! Games are for recess, and the only way to save yourself from a life of miserable mis-understandings and the fog of anticipation, is to be a 100% straight shooter. Want to know something... ask! Sure, think of a clever, careful, and appropriate WAY to ask, but ask nonetheless.

I wouldn't walk up and say, "I am in love with you, why don' you seem like you love me too?". But I might say something light-hearted like, "Jesus dude, when are you going to get off your ass and ask me out? Cause, I know that you are totally picking up what I am laying down."

If you say it with a smile and slap his arm or something, then it shows that you like him, and are interested, but you aren't like about to hang yourself in the shower if he declines. Then just listen to what he says and how he says it.

And most of all... DO NOT READ ANYTHING INTO WHAT HE SAYS. Women are notorious for the whole "I wonder what he meant by...". I can tell you right now, he meant exactly what he said.

[lightning]

Gaaaaah, this is hard I cant go straight to him and hint him something because this is impossible..I dont want to sound cheap.
and hell I know I might be reading TOO much between the lines but there is something inside of me telling me that "it seems he likes you" but then I slap that voice and say I'm just imagining things..
He is on my facebook and he comment on everything I add (shouldnt that be a sign?) someone would say "ofcourse not!" and I always fall in this trap like maybe I'm just over analyzing.

But I'm really cursed ..we were so close friends now both of us still talk but after efforts ..Because there is weird sense in the air ..

I try my best to limit my contact with him so I dont sound cheap or anything..
He message me sometimes, he jokes and he says cute things "I was kidding .. just to freak you out !!" and he does freak me out.

I dont even want him to feel that I like him because my ego dont allow me to do such a thing..two days ago I told him "I'm happy we're not fighting, I told my friend that I just got young brother that I really like" (he is younger than me) and he answered "I'm the lucky one, I have cute best friend"

Maybe i'm cursed in the friend zone? call me silly but I'm really cursed..

[lightning]

So my case simply in one line "I have a crush on someone who doesnt even know whats going on" and big chance I'm imagining everything and I cant get him off my mind..

and he is stuck on my face at work and on facebook and all the songs in my ipod are from him and all my life is getting crap and I dont even have a simple small idea what to do

[pisces7378]

Well let me tell you. I am in a very similar situation, so I know the frustration. I know that you are afraid to make a move. Not because you are too shy, or too weak, but because for the moment, the "not-knowing" is a safer feeling than a heart-crushing rejection if he says "No".

You probably have some self-esteem issues. I know I do. I am over-weight; not to the point where it is like a huge medical problem, but I am not in shape. The girl I have a crush on is not over-weight. I am eleven years older than the girl I have a crush on. She drives a brand new 2010 car. I have a 13 year old Honda Accord with the back all crushed in from a hit-and-run car accident. And in general, she is a very pretty girl, and I am average at best.

So believe me, I understand doubting yourself. But screw it. If you are an AWESOME person, which I can kind of imagine that YOU are, nothing is impossible. Looking at all those variables (Facebook posts, ipod songs, time together, hot/cold responses...) all of that will just drive you down the wrong path. The truth is, you just have to DO IT!!!

I have been attracted to girls and acted just like this guy is... posting on their Facebook, giving them all the attention I can, wanting to be with them all the time. And then I have been attracted to girls that I couldn't even talk to, and they ended up thinking I was weird, or mad at them or something. There is no rhyme or reason for why or how men act when they are attracted to someone. Just based on what you say, I'd say that he is into you big time.

Just go for it. There are ways to find out if he likes you without making it some big production. There is one thing that you might need to keep in mind. Most men do NOT like a big public production. He might be nervous that everyone in the office would see you two together. Not that he is "embarrassed" to be seen with you or anything; he just probably would want to get comfortable with the thought of you two dating before the whole office starts making comments etc.

Women love to be "swept off their feet"... men need the exact opposite; slow and cautious. But you are going to have to do it. If it makes you feel any better, he is so nervous about it too. If you can be flippant and silly with it, then that takes away the awkward nervousness of it, and he will LOVE that. Women seem to thrive a little bit under being nervous. For men it is like poison in their veins to be nervous.

DO IT!!!