PLEASE some input

[frenchie87]

so i broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years about two years ago...and thats the same time that i met X thru work. we really didnt talk too much for the first year, but then i needed a place to stay and she said i could stay with her and her boyfriend. i took her up on the offer. before i moved in...i kind of had a bad view of her...being a bitch and a cheater. she had cheated on her bf and it was a big deal at work. but i lter found out why...anyways basically over the past year we have gotten a lot closer and i have discovered that she is a lot like me...very compassionate, nice, quite yet sometimes outgoing, likes to go to rock shows...i have really started to crush on her. i want her all to my self. i upsets me to see her and her bf together because he is a bag of crap and is a horribe boyfriend. he doesnt want to spend time with her, hold her, kiss her or even have sex! but she has low self esteem due to a bad past(not having friends, bein called a bitch, trying to kill herself) but i think she is so beautifut inside and out. although she complains about her bf and lack of things he does for her/with her she has made a comitment to him and wont leave him uness he tells her to go.

now my question is i want to tell her how i feel about her and how she deserves better than her bf(me or someone else) but i dont want to tell her this and jeapoerdize our friendship or maybe our relationship...should i tell her how i feel or just keep it to myself?

[frenchie87]

please can you guys just give me a yes or no

[jdm95si]

errr, unless your confident her BF couldnt beat you up or has a means to get even (friends in gangs, weapons, shady friends) i'd say go for it. in my opinion though, if she is dumb enough to stay with him, dont go steppin on toes bro. i know if a guy tried that with me, there'd be hell to pay, but thats just because im a masculinist, i dont share, hehe.

just be careful, choose your words and enemies wisely, wouldnt want anything to happen.

[frenchie87]

could take him. she isnt dumb enough to stay with her...its just she thinks she cant get anyone to love and accept her the way she is. AND she has made a commitment to stay with him because he didnt leave her when she cheated. i just want to tell her that she isnt a piece of crap and that she deserves MUCH better

[jdm95si]

could take him. she isnt dumb enough to stay with her...its just she thinks she cant get anyone to love and accept her the way she is. AND she has made a commitment to stay with him because he didnt leave her when she cheated. i just want to tell her that she isnt a piece of crap and that she deserves MUCH better

well its good you can take him although i dont recommend fighting heh. i punched my ex's ex, im 18 and he was 20 and he pressed charges which i think speaks to the manlihood of his character. anywho, if she cheated then this is a no brainer. if i were you i'd do it in person tho. you dont want anything in writting or a text bc for all you know he could intercept it, i def think you should tell her though

[frenchie87]

we dont text or talk on the phone that much. we see each other every day as i am her roommate. i dont want to fight him...but i was just saying.

i think i am going t tell her that she is great and thta i like her. i have gotten advice not to mention her boyfriend being crappy becasue that will make me sound desperate and something else...so i wont mention him

BTW thanks for the advice guys

[damn2008]

I think you just need to back off a bit. Perhaps just let her come and discuss this with you before you approach it with her...or you'll be her shoulder to cry on.

The issue boils down to this: "If her boyfriend is so bad and you're so great, why is she STILL with him?"

Of course there is their history but if she's unhappy..she needs to learn to recognize it and get out of her situation. Too many people get comfortable in these "abusive" relationships and they stay in them TOO long.

[jdm95si]

we dont text or talk on the phone that much. we see each other every day as i am her roommate. i dont want to fight him...but i was just saying.

i think i am going t tell her that she is great and thta i like her. i have gotten advice not to mention her boyfriend being crappy becasue that will make me sound desperate and something else...so i wont mention him

BTW thanks for the advice guys

yea i only bring up a possible conflict because you would be moving in on his "territory" if you will and if he has an ounce of testosterone in him he prob wont take it lightly. and what the guy above is saying, he does have a point. if you want the best then you should let her come to you.