Awful Misunderstanding

[shyromantic]

I though I had met that special lady,(I'll refer to her as L) we were going out, enjoyed each others company, and got on famously. then L tells me of some exciting news, she had met a guy who is apparently really nice.

At first I was heartbroken, how could L dump me so flippantly? but she's not the type of person who'd do something so cruel which was then I realized that all this time we've been going out as friends.

I told L how I felt about her, how devastated I was at the news and how she thought we were just friends. all L could say was that she was flattered but shocked. then she asked if we could still be friends.

when I asked L if she would like to go to the cinema, or for a walk in the park she replied with such enthusiasm that I was sure she was interested in me. why didn't she realize I liked her? I made a thermos of tea, and cakes when we went walking, my sister said that I was really sweet and thoughtful and L was really lucky to have me. I bought a big bucket of popcorn and a drink to share when we went to the cinema too, we used different straws though.

I can't understand how she could misunderstand my intentions, I've talked about previous girlfriends so she can't think I'm gay, always been the gentleman by opening doors and such. but she never got the hint? can women be so oblivious? I haven't got past the touch barrier that people talk of. even though L is a strong, independent woman underneath she's quite fragile I thought she was afraid of getting hurt so I respected that, and let her take her time.

sorry for the wall of text, I just had to get it off my chest.

[Gigabitch]

I think L needs to hear this from you. She sounds inconsiderate or possibly retarded.

[Primo]

Somehow you were immediately put in the friend zone and didn't realize it. Women are generally timid by nature when it comes to affairs of the heart, they usually want and need a man to take charge. Sounds like you need to be a tad more aggressive and get your feelings across better in the future.

That being said, you sound like a great person to go to the park with, I love tea & cakes :-)

[Chupacabras]

^^ Right. Don't pussy-foot around, make your intentions known early on; the longer you wait, the more likely she's going to start treating you like a girlfriend and tell you about new boys she's met (like happened here).

Better luck next time, there's no chance of this becoming a romantic relationship.

[Gigabitch]

That being said, you sound like a great person to go to the park with, I love tea & cakes :-)

Me too. Also, I love it when guys I haven't even kissed buy me new boots.

[girl68]

I though I had met that special lady,(I'll refer to her as L) we were going out, enjoyed each others company, and got on famously. then L tells me of some exciting news, she had met a guy who is apparently really nice.

At first I was heartbroken, how could L dump me so flippantly? but she's not the type of person who'd do something so cruel which was then I realized that all this time we've been going out as friends.

I told L how I felt about her, how devastated I was at the news and how she thought we were just friends. all L could say was that she was flattered but shocked. then she asked if we could still be friends.

when I asked L if she would like to go to the cinema, or for a walk in the park she replied with such enthusiasm that I was sure she was interested in me. why didn't she realize I liked her? I made a thermos of tea, and cakes when we went walking, my sister said that I was really sweet and thoughtful and L was really lucky to have me. I bought a big bucket of popcorn and a drink to share when we went to the cinema too, we used different straws though.

I can't understand how she could misunderstand my intentions, I've talked about previous girlfriends so she can't think I'm gay, always been the gentleman by opening doors and such. but she never got the hint? can women be so oblivious? I haven't got past the touch barrier that people talk of. even though L is a strong, independent woman underneath she's quite fragile I thought she was afraid of getting hurt so I respected that, and let her take her time.

sorry for the wall of text, I just had to get it off my chest.

The bolded part is the only part that matters. My guy friends have treated me like a lady as you have L. The thought he might like me HAD crossed my mind however the fact that he never ONCE touch me romantically made me second guess it.

[shyromantic]

as my user name suggests I'm not the most confident of people.

[girl68]

Doesn't matter. We're telling you how and why this could have happened. And the reason is you're not confident enough to make a REAL move... until it's too late. Learn from this so you can do it right the next time.

[Mish]

It sounds like she's only interested in you as a friend and nothing more

[lost26]

If she asks you if you still can be friends you have to be sincere with her. Do you want to be just friends? If not tell her so.

[shyromantic]

I've already said to her "I'll be there for you, as a friend if nothing else". which is probably a no, I don't want to be just friends but if that's all she's offering at the moment,why not?

[kai]

It's not about at the moment. You'll get hurt for no reason and you don't deserve it.

[IncognitoSir]

It's not about at the moment. You'll get hurt for no reason and you don't deserve it.

Yeah, because you are into this chick, you're not gonna be able to just turn off your feelings and "just be friends" with her, don't kid yourself. Unfortunately I dont believe a relationship is going to work out between you guys and if you do decide to hang out with her, I'd be extremely cautious seeing as how shes really not that into you, best of luck my man!

[shyromantic]

I won't be hanging out with her for a while, I'm too embarrassed about the whole situation. I know I should just get over it and move on but it's easier said than done.

This might be a weird analogy but I feel like I've just dropped my ice cream on the floor, I know I should leave it there but it seems like such a waste even though there's plenty more ice cream about. it's a shame I can't employ the 10 second rule, hahahahaha!

[lastwish]

punishment for being a pussy