tired and weary

[lost26]

Just don't know really where to start and still confused...

I'm in a relationship where everything to save it was tried, includind couple therapy and yet few has changed over the time. Sometimes I have the impression that the basic structure hasn't changed.

We are married since ten years and I have the impression that we never had real soul comitment to each other. What I mean by that is that we are very different and if you ask me why I keep this relationship I will just be able to say that I loved the guy, still do. He isn't a bad person either, its just that I have the impression that he lives in another realm, not really by my side.

The problem is that I see no return to that love. He accepts me but gives nothing back, is a onesided thing and if I complain he jumps imediately into "since you are not happy them we should split" modus. I hold "us" toguether since years and take the energy from other areas of my life to invest in it. But I see that it isn't working anymore.

Can I still save this marriage? I decided really to try everything I can before spliting but I'm tired and weary since years.

[pastord]

To save the marriae you have to have a willing partner. If he is really willing, then fight for your marriage. If not, you don't have anything more you can do. Nothing can be done until he sees a need for change. I would suggest that he speak to a 3rd party that might can get him to see what he needs to change.

[lost26]

The next day I wrote the message above I woke up better, not tired and weary anymore, as if I knew suddendly what to do and had more hope. I asked my partner if he was still in the split modus and he said no. He is facing problems with his carrier and I addressed those. I feel it's my responsability to help him but if he doesn't want that I will leave him with the consciousness that I did everything I could to help him.
We are in harmony at the moment and I think that gradually things are getting better and we have quarrels less frequently than in the past. I´m ok now because I´m not afraid of anything.
The moment of speaking to a third party is over now, we did a lot of that last year and its enough. I'm watching we both and that will tell me what to do.