I cant forget him

[lightning]

so now I know he only likes me as a friend, and I'm trying to ignore him but I cant stop thinking of him day long and each time he tries to talk to me I feel very depressed for being blunt I'm depressed

[RonHH]

Hi Lightning, Can you give us a little more history about your relationship with him.
I'm sure there is a lot of us here are willing to listen.
Until then, take care ~ Ron~

[lightning]

Just he was my best friend, the one I would run to when the world is grumpy , he too was my best friend. he told me about his crushes and I did the same thing to him.
He is younger than me, at first it was really nice, he always seemed so good to me and i gave him equal attention.
Until later some trouble at work happened and he was the one to stand by me, and since then my whole world turned upside down. I fell in love with him and I couldnt just ignore it.
I tried my best to ignore it but my feelings were growing bigger and he noticed that so he gave me more attention, more caring words and eh..
Just I tried to ignore him at times but he would always pop up right to my face and show me that he does care.

For instance one story I really cant forget , is once I came to one of my friends coworkers and told him I passed my exams (I was ignoring my crush on purpose and he stood up from behind his desk -which is far from where I was- ) and went to me and told me "oh well, congratulation"

He did so many things that really got my in love with him more and more, he called me dear, honey and so on.

And the last two weeks he would randomly tell me before I leave work "when are you leaving?" and when I answer he say "then we can leave together if you dont mind"...

he gave me too much signs that he likes me , he would call me babe, he would track me on facebook, he would send me songs and never leave me when I'm angry or upset.. too much signs but also he always reminded me that we are friends by saying "you're my best friend"

bleh...I told him I like him and bleh...I got no answer...he changed the topic totally...so later at night I sent him a message saying "I need some space" and he didnt reply

So now I decided to be blunt to him, I deleted him from facebook ( and weirdly he isnt active on facebook as before I deleted him) ...and today he came to my office and asked me random questions about travelling abroad..and even sent me a song on messenger and I kept being blunt..

But I feel so depressed and I miss him so much yet I cant do anything and I feel tempted to readd him on facebook but thats not right..I'm frined zoned

and bleh..I wanna just call him and hear his voice..I just cant get him off my mind and I miss him every damn single second ..
I miss his eyes..his voice..his conversations..I miss everything about him and its killing me when he comes over to me and I act cold and blunt like I'm some alien with no feelings..


oh oh..btw the song he sent me today was so weird, its for Jeniffer and here its lyrics :
took a shot, with the bad boy from the block
picked my love right from the start
mister wrong, he plays his part
back to the beginning, now round two
try my luck with something new
we danced until we said "I do"
my luck is bad, no more us, too
no me and you

[Chorus]
is it too much to ask
for a real love,
something that'll last?
is there one love,
only once in a lifetime?
it's so hard to find,
the perfect one to call mine
is there one love
somebody that compliments me?
and makes me wanna never leave?
made just right for me?
is there one love, one love, one love, one love?

it's take three, could there be a part for me?
came and swept me off my feet
went nowhere but kept the ring
once again i'm lonely
number four, he sang to me but i'm not sure
so worn out, but love just saw
made me wanna try once more
and i couldn't say no

[RonHH]

Why are you pushing him away? Besides true friends don't desert friends.
Whats wrong with spending some time with him and telling him how you feel.
If you can't come up with the words make a copy of your post and use it for reference.
I don't want to sound like I'm getting down on you but you feeling depressed sounds self inflected .
Maybe I'm not understanding and if not I apologize.

[lightning]

ok i'm just doing that because I swear to god I can't be friend with him anymore.. Just seeing him around and knowing he is only friend is so torturing beside I feel so cursed that he knows I like him and He isn't into me that way..
I told him I need space because I really do need my sanity back.
I just cant keep waiting for him to come so my day is better..shouldn't at least be a little selfish after he gave me glitter of hope that he likes me more than a friend?
Be a little cold after he acted like he likes me?

[Bumble_bee]

he played a little game lightning...although in his eyes I'm sure he thought it was harmless work place flirting, but all that time you played it around in your head and almost convinnced yourself he wanted more got you hooked. in a way you may feel like you got dumped. give yourself time, come here and vent when you need to, but dnt lose face, look him in the eye when you see him, you did nothing wrong....

I would ask him to lay off the dumb ass, mind f*** messages and back off for a bit in the meantime though...

best wishes