What is my best option??

[Franko]

Hi everyone, Ive recently came out of a 5.5 year relationship with my ex girlfriend, we have a 2 year old daughter together. weve broke up before then got engaged then we broke up again and she sold the ring for £100 bought a top and went out for the night on the piss!!
There has been cheating and my ex confesses that she is a compulsive liar!!

Any way our recent break up involved domestic violence police arressted me and i have to go to court, my ex dropped the charges which were abit extreme now i am back living with my father, i do miss her very much and miss spending time with my daughter.

After a few weeks when the dust settled my ex and i began to make contact even thou she has a non molestation order out against me!!
Weve been split now almost 2 months and have started meeting again, the passion is amazing and she has told me she loves me, but it only seems as if she wants me when shes nothing else to do i.e during the week.

At the moment she seems to be obsessed with meeting someone new to replace me, on saturday night i went to the local pub and she was there and started flirting with a bouncer but later admited it was to annoy me!!

Im trying my best to save our family and have told her it means more to me than moving on, last week she said she didnt want to know me then i backed off abit and gave her space and i attemped suicide in a way i was that drunk i fell alsleep so never took the overdose.

My ex was simpathetic and very worried i started to ignore her and she texted lots of msg's which i ignored.

I called up the other night and she got us a pizza, i actually have lost a stone in weight from not eating properly then we arranged to have a dvd night last night which i got the pizza this time, we got on really well and kissed etc etc etc she told me she loved me asked me to stay, i couldnt really sleep and read her texts on her phone which i know i shouldnt have done, i saw texts to her friend talking about saturday night there all going out it was like 'so theres 4 guys in our taxi bus?? i wonder what marty is like' and other saying 'yeah he is beautiful but he's a pervert and if he touches your bum again i will slap him' an other was like 'im sick of these boys im going to find me a real man on saturday night' now i know were split up but these texts really hurt me!! i woke her up and asked her she just said supose thats us falling out for an other week just go and post my keys through the letter box!! so i left and havent texted her, its almost 9am so shed be heading to work after leaving our daughter to the nursury.

Im sorry for my bad typing maybe im not making sense but im just really hurt and confused right now, i want my family back but my ex seems to play allot of games, and is a crafty girl!!! she is sneeket and devious and admited being a compulsive liar, im just wondering what should i do ignore her for a few days and make her think or just run to her like a dog??

I mean how can she tell me she loves me then just go on a date with someone 2 hours later then go out that night and meet another guy and go back to his apartment for a party which her phone got stolen and £30 aswell
she got the phone back without the sim card. and still she keeps in touch with that clowen.

please help and ask any questions

thanks

[Primo]

It sounds like she really has no interest in "you" but is giving it the old college try because of your child together. The fact that you're an emotional mess is understandable, but pulling the suicide routine is only going to make her realize how weak you are and push her further away. If you succeed then your child has no father the rest of her life. Their's bigger things at stake than you wanting to harm yourself because your girlfriend doesn't love you...get it?

You've already been arrested and have an order of no contact. I can tell you now that if you continue, you will end up in jail again or worse. You have to decide how long you want to torture yourself with someone who doesn't love you and do what's best for your child.

[Franko]

Yeah to me it sounds like she wants the best of both worlds, what am I best doing ignore her? im really confused 1 min she loves me next she dosent want to know me, next were watching dvd's, then its the weekend she dont care!!

[bluesummer]

She doesn't know what she wants, or she's enjoying stringing you and a bunch of other guys along because she likes the attention and she CLEARLY is a fan of drama.

My advice to you, despite your feelings for her, is to back off completely. If she tries flirting with you, or telling you she loves you, either don't respond or tell her "I love you, but your behaviour in our relationship does't make me want to BE with you." Take back the control, because right now she has it.

Concentrate on being a good father.

[Bumble_bee]

you both need to grow up, you have a kid for christ sakes....suicide? false restraining orders? ...pffft.

[Franko]

I am a good father and tell me how on earth did you know about the drama?? she openly admitted to being a drama queen!! I havent contacted her today nor has she, and to be honest she's prob expecting me to call up after her work (which i wont be) at the moment she has full control but last night i just left without saying anything!!

If she asks me to ring her should i ring? or if she texts should i reply? unless its about the child of course.

[bluesummer]

You shouldn't be in touch with her unless it's about your kid. That's it.

The drama thing was pretty obvious by her actions. She sets up situations to have dramatic responses.....so she likes it.

[Franko]

So you say back off? our 2nd child would have been due 3rd of december only she had an abortion, all she seem's to care about is nights out and drinking. her house is a tip and she dont even have bubble bath for our daughter the sad thing is she works in boots ffs, i really dont know whats got into her shes obsessed with meeting a new man but at the same time gives me mixed signiles. tbh i just want my family back but dont know how its gonna work.

[IndiReloaded]

I agree with Blue and Bee. Sorry, but your woman needs to grow up. You need to get some self-control. I know its terribly hard with a bitch like this, but its for your little girls sake. She needs at least one stable parent, and frankly, you sound like her best option.

Good luck.

[flea]

yep. i'm with B_b and IR. stuff this girl, and concentrate your efforts into the most important girl you'll ever have in your life: your daughter.

this woman is always going to be a part of you because of the child you share, but it doesn't necessarily have to be any more than that. I grew up with just my Mum and my brother (my dad was young and couldn't handle it, I guess) and we turned out ok.

and stop it with the suicide attempt bullshit! next time you even consider thinking about contemplating about entertaining the idea of that......imagine your little girl crying at your grave site wanting nothing more than to hold her dad. you may not feel it right now, but it sounds to me like you're all this kid has. be a man, and handle your business.


I wish you good luck, sir.

[Franko]

Im def not going to commit suicide, i feel much better talking to you guys, so the advice is walk away?

[Bumble_bee]

well walk away...from her ...not your child if you know what I mean.....

[Franko]

so just ignore her other than the child contacting? or say to her ive had enough?

[Gigabitch]

Your best option is to find a decent girlfriend, one who would make a good stepmom. I wouldn't be surprised if you ex decides she doesn't want your daughter any more pretty soon- she gets in the way of the partying, you know.

I don't know how things are there, legally, but if you were living here you'd have a lot to worry about because of the domestic violence charge (you're a dumb **** and a scumbag for doing that, by the way, even though I can understand how anyone would want to smack a woman like that). Here, you would have mandated anger management and parenting classes. If those are recommended for you, take them without fail. It will help you later.

Most of all, you need to man up and get past all this childish bullshit. Your ex is already playing the part of demented asshole in this scene, so you are stuck with the role of the grownup.

[goldfleece]

Man, I know you must be going through alot of pain. But I think it is pretty clear she is not interested in having a working and loving relationship with you. As hard as it must be I think you might be best to find what you really want. Which sounds like a loving and caring person. Not someone who loves you one second and then turns to another guy the next. How is that ever going to make you happy? And do you really think she is going to change? It doesn't sound like it if it's been going on for awhile. I know it sucks man, but look at what it is doing to you.