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Thread: I ended things with her, on a good note. Did I do the right thing?

  1. #1
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    I ended things with her, on a good note. Did I do the right thing?

    Me and my gf have been together for 2 1/2 years. We had the best time of our lives together, and we've been through alot together, also lost our virginity to each other.
    Lately we've been fussing ALOT. She always took advantage thinking i'd always be there for her(atleast thats what I think).
    She started uni this year, and has been changing alot, which i know is very natural. She made a mistake, and I havent been able to forgive her on it yet. We fuss alot as well, which DOESNT help.
    We talked about it, and I told her that we should take time apart. I told her that if our love was really meant to be, it would find its way. She promised me that she'd be waiting. She promised me that she loves me to death, and that she wont love again, that there wont be another man. I really do want things to workout with her, but i felt like this was the right thing to do for now.
    I dont want to tell her what to do and what not to. I want her to do what she feels is right / avoid what she thinks is wrong. I want to see if she WILL actually wait for me, if her love IS real for me.
    We said I love you to each other, said a few sweet things, and ended the convo. Did I do the right thing?

  2. #2
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    Forgot to mention, we're doing long distance...

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    You did the right thing for the wrong reasons. You're testing her? What the hell is that?

    Break up and move on. Don't string her along. If you can't forgive her, you can't so end it and just get on with your life.
    Spammer Spanker

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    No No, you got me all wrong.
    I'm not doing it to test her. What she did after we've been together for 27 months was VERy wrong. I can forgive her , but I just need time. Everytime we talked, i'd get mad, or i'd remember what she did and flip out and stuff. I just thought that it would be the right thing to do for now. I really love do love her. We both talked about it, and she told me to come back whenever I was ready.
    Honestly right now, i'm scared she'l move on. I DO see myself forgiving her sooner or later, and i dont want to permenantely lose out on her, and I was sure that if we kept talking, with the distance, and after what she did, the way we were fussing all the time, THAT would make me lose her for good.
    Am I making sense?

  5. #5
    IndiReloaded's Avatar
    IndiReloaded is offline Yawning
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    LDRs are worse than hard. You are probably better off apart. Timing is a bitch, sometimes.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

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    I think you definitely need to work some stuff out. "Sooner or later" is a pretty vague estimate. What do you see happening? She doesn't screw around with anyone else for three months and then you decide that her love is real and date her again? That's terrible! How can you blame her if she moves on? If someone gave ME an indefinite ultimatum like that ("Yeah... we'll see how you behave and then MAYBE SOMEDAY we can get back together...) I'd be done with that and occupying my time licking my wounds.

    If you can't start forgiving her in the context of a relationship, breaking up for good is probably the best idea. If you wanted to work things out and forgive her, maybe you should have stuck together but stopped talking so frequently so that you could cool off, or whatever. I don't see how breaking up is going to cure relationship instability.

  7. #7
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    You still havnt forgiven her for what she did, no doubt there isnt much trust there and as your about to go LDR its gonna get worse, you wont forgive her if your not with her and you sure as hell wont build up any trust while shes away.
    How long ago did she do this 'wrong' thing?

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