Should I leave him? Please help...

[rottenvanity]

I have been with my boyfriend, Lance, for over a year now. I love him more than my heart could possibly handle.

I am just turning 17 while my boyfriend will be 19 in Nov. The first year of us together was amazing. We never fought. We both were eachother's firsts. It was practically every girl's fantasy relationship.. somewhat ^__^.

It was only up until a couple months ago things kinda began to suck. It really started up when I went to FL a few weeks ago for vacation with my family. Lance is an extremly jealous guy. He told me he didn't want anyone looking at me in my bikini and so on. When I got back, I began hanging out with my friend of 3 years, Brynden. Now, Brynden and I had gone out a few years back for only a couple months. I have no feelings for him now. I do love hanging out with him though. I enjoy getting out of the house when I can.

It just pretty much tends to be Lance always jealous about some guy which tends to enterfere with our relationship. It's even caused me to break down ever so often. He does say he's sorry later on and how stupid it was.. but then there will always be something getting to him again.

I love him, we're planning on getting engaged in a year. I understand how he can be upset that when he can't come see me, I'm hanging out with another guy friend. But, he knows he can trust me.. we've had plenty of talks about this.

How do I get him to feel more insecure and allow me to hang out with friends without being overly cautious?

Please help!

Mandy

[squirrley]

You cant do anything. Its Lances own INSECURITIES. Youve done your part in letting him know. But I wouldnt give up guy friends for HIS sake. Ah hell no. If he cant accept you have male friends then you WILL always have problems. What happens when youre out in the workforce? Working with men? Is he going to have a problem then too? In order to have a strong healthy relationship you have to HAVE trust. He may trust you, but doesnt trust others, but the tension is ALWAYS there.

Id let him know BEFORE you get engaged you NEED to work this one out. If you done all you can in reassuring him and he continues to act like this, Id think twice about getting engaged. At least for the meantime.

[rottenvanity]

Thank you for the reply.

I am afraid Lance may also be scared that he feels like he always may have to compete. Because all my guy friends may be really cute, supposivily that's one of the issues. It would make sense if the guy was horridly un-eyeable.

I have assured him that I will be meeting several new people in my life when I start work.. start school again and so on. As will he. All I do is keep telling him to trust me.

As always, I hope for the best and thank you again for your response.

[Anthony]

Speaking from my mothers experience (who married at 15 years of age), I would suggest that if you can't see yourself waiting three years to marry him, that you shouldn't marry him. I don't believe there could be many things worse than rushing to wed simply to prove a relationship, only to have it evaporate a year down the road when things start moving in a different direction. On the other hand, if you can honestly admit to yourself (and know without doubt) that you're a commited couple, it might be something to consider.

<Standard disclaimers and warnings about marrying younger, here.>

From a personal standpoint, I would be quite dubious about a future partner spending large amounts of time with her male friend, regardless of how much I trusted her. In that, I can agree to a degree with your boyfriend. He tries to be understanding that you enjoy spending time with a friend, is it possible that you could be a bit more understanding of your partner and spend less time with that friend, or at least spend time with him (still far less frequently) in a more neutral setting, such as with a group of friends?

[Amyejean]

I'm Sorry NO MAN can make you feel guilty for hanging out with friends. If he is that insecure than he should not be dating. Guy will be jelous, it's a guys nature to feel his woman is going to be liked by other guys. But if you have not given him a reason for his jelousy than he should be able to trust you to go out with your friends.
I feel your to young to be engaged also. Your 17 you have a whole world to explore. Don't tie yourself down with one guy. I'm 25 now and still have not even thought about getting married, plus you want to make sure that the relationship is going to work out cause you don't want to be either in a ruff relationship where he is going to control you, not letting yo go out with friends, or worse, make you feel like his property. But you also dont' wanna be 18 and divorced.
What does your heart tell you to do. Cause you can get replys from here until 2020, but the only decission you can make is the one your heart says.

Hope this helps
Amye

[Donna25]

mandy.. men are gonna be jealous.. thats all there is to it.. if thats the only thing he does id stick with him... because its easy for people to tell u to just dump them.. but if u love him keep him. i'll tell u i met my husband when i was 15... he had a problem with my male friends... but.. in the end it worked itself out... i love him more than anything and couldnt be happier

[kanzaki]

well, ur bf is same as mine. I get screamed at even if i am talking to someone else's boyfriend. I try my best to assure him like "dun worry i will always be yours" and stuff. Sometime it does not work, i will just haf oral sex wif him.

Or i could just pop by to a store and bought a lock/bell/collar and ask him to tie me up. Just to ensure that i am his in a sense