Long waste about being just friends...

[acn6565]

I moved to a different state few months ago and one of the first weekends I was here went to visit my step-brother. He has a roommate who I instantly fell for; she is beautiful, funny (actually makes me laugh), smart, and all those other cliche's that people say they look for in someone. We have a ton of things in common and from the first time I met her I knew.

From that first weekend on I have hung out with her from Friday night to usually Sunday night. Full days, crashing over at their place, no time in between. She is extremely flirty and touchy feely and I can make her cry with laughter a few times a day. Everyone says we make an awesome couple and we had pretty much been spending so much time together that people that we were a couple, and I guess we were without actually having the talk.

A few weeks ago I told her I wanted to be more than friends and she said she couldn't because she wasn't over her ex-boyfriend and had sent him an email and they were going to "hang out", they did and seemed to be back together for about a week until he broke it off with her. I thought that was my chance so I gave it some time (and through all of this saw her for 3 days a week) and ask again.

When I asked again I was told that she has tried to "see us being more than friends so many times but can't", I told her that if she is trying so hard to see it doesn't that man she wants to see it? and she just cried that I am TOO NICE and the fact that when I walk into a room everyone there is happy to see me and we go out and strangers talk to me. She says she likes dating "assholes and douche bags" because they are mean to everyone else and sweet to her and her best relationships have been with those types and i'm not her type. I said that I was sweet to her all the time and that why wouldn't she be willing to give it a chance? She says if we did she wouldn't want to ruin the friendship we have and doesn't think she'd be happy, but if she ever changes her mind I'd be the first to know. I told her to just say it was a physical thing (she is pretty far out of my league) and she starting crying and slapped me and said, "It isn't, it would never be, and it sucks you think i'm that shallow!"

Since this night (it was a three hour talk), I have spent the night over at her place laying next to her because I can't sleep if I don't (unhealthy yes i know) and we have plans for every weekend...she plans to start dating but not me...I know i should run the other way but she is my best friend out here and I'm hers (her's is out of state).

I'm not going anywhere and I think she is a coward for not wanting to at least give it a shot. She is younger than me so I think she just doesn't know what she wants yet and doesn't know that being with a friend is sometimes even better than a best friendship, but what do I do? I don't have anywhere or anyone else to ask so I'm coming to 3rd parties. Sorry I wrote so much and I thank anyone that read through my drek and helping me out. I'm a wreck about this girl and never get this way.

[thrillaveza]

wow mann, i posted something like this this past summer. this happens to me before. yeah if you are TOO nice then she'll get bored and not want anything to do with you in a relationship. i'm pretty pissed at the girl and myself who friend zoned me as well. i pretty much did obvious gestures that shown i had interest for a whole year and having been told by her friend that she has a boyfriend was a big f u to the face. then yet i was to stupid to realize that her lack of appreciation was that she wasn't interested.

i tell you what someone else posted to me, perhaps apply this in the future. "girls like men, men that take charge etc. blah blah" for example, someone who can tease a girl and turn down times when she wants to hang out. i see that's what those douche guys do. i guess it's the fact that doing so makes you seem busy and not have a lot time for them which ironically makes them want you more. i was never for that but since that stint with that girl, i feel that's probably what i should seek into.

i think you should part away with her for a while. that's what i'm told to do and doing so made it quite easier for me. just now, focus on other things, like school and work, better yet you should hit the gym and try to improve your greater being. good luck.