One last e-mail--pathetic and childish or closure?

[curves222]

Great forum...unfortunately I found you guys from my own angst and disappointment. Sorry, I'm naturally longwinded, lol.

So, met a guy online about two months ago. Long distance thing started up a bit. Acts like he is CRAZY about me..."there is something about me that he knows we will end up together", "he wants to marry me based on my voice alone (was said jokingly)" and made some general plans about a trip to meet each other, then was already talking about my moving to where he lives and moving in with him (I had expressed interest in moving somewhere new). I could go on.

He's in England, I'm in the US...so there is a 6-hour time difference. As such, communication is challenging, but he doesn't seem to really even try. Though, when we do chat or talk or e-mail each other...he is just gushing with "sweet, adoring" words.

We had a long, great conversation on a Tuesday a couple weeks ago. I e-mailed him 2-3 times that week. No response. Wasn't online (again) at all that weekend. Sent him two (IM's), no response. Nothing the next week...I didn't e-mail him either, until Friday. Polite e-mail. Asked what was going on, if he was just super busy or trying to give me a hint. E-mailed me back...I'm so sexy, he can't wait to chat, sorry so busy, blah blah.

Called him Friday night as I got off work, but my cell phone was being wacky and I asked if he would call me back at my work number. Said yes...then didn't.

Was online today, but didn't respond to the IM I sent. He was online for HOURS!!!! I am SO HURT!

I get that he is not interested anymore. But why would he write the same crap just yesterday? Why did he have to play games with me? He is 45 years old, for heaven's sake!

So, (finally) my question. I REALLY want to write him one last e-mail. Nothing bitchy, just a "Hey, you really hurt my feelings when you didn't call back and ignored me online. I don't understand why you did that to me."

Bad idea? I know it is childish and petty, I should just ignore him, but I want to KNOW WHY!!! ARRRGGHHH. Not even why he is not interested, just why he would be so heartless and dismissive.

Ideas? Thoughts? Thanks in advance, guys

[Cbrider]

I can tell you that you're sexy, have a great voice and beautiful eyes too.....

Do you see the problem here?

Don't email him, just drop it and forget him, its a completely pointless e-relationship with no substance.

[Heratriumphant]

Not a guy but...

Any chance he's married? With an Internet based relationship anything could be going on you could be one of six girls he's carrying on with.

As for a last email, well if you're done with him you can be as childish and pathetic as you want. It doesn't matter what he thinks of you any more.

All that matters is that you've done what ever it is you need to do to move on.

[curves222]

I know he is not married because he gave me his home phone number and told me I could call it whenever I wanted. Which, because of the crazy time difference, means we typically talk at 11:30PM-midnight (his time).

And being one of 6, 10, 30 girls? Oh yeah! That thought has definitely occurred to me, especially after today. Which, normally wouldn't even bother me, except he SAID he wasn't interested in anyone but me.

Lol, come to think of it, I actually didn't mean if he thought I was childish and pathetic. I guess I was more trying to figure out which way I would feel better. Because right now, I am feeling like a complete IDIOT for letting myself be so easily charmed by his supposed ardor and compliments. And I'm inclined to tell him off just a little bit, even though it means he "wins", yet again! lol

[Primo]

Give him a piece of your mind if it will make you feel better and then let it be. You've never met him and it's not like he lives down the street. Sounds to me like he probably found someone he's more interested to talk to, which is why he was online but ignoring you.

Don't let it bother you, he's not winning anything and you're not losing anything tangible right?

[curves222]

You're totally right, Primo. In the grand scheme of things, I know this is really not a big deal, but it still hurts when it is so fresh. Even before this happened, I had been a bit worried that he was one of those guys who falls fast and hard, but then loses interest just as fast. Why don't I ever listen to myself? lol

[Illusional]

yes, i would also forget about him. if he were interested in you, then he would've already emailed you back.

raverboy

[vashti]

Don't bother with the email... "closure" implies you will feel better after sending the email, but why would you? The guy's not making you a priority, and that isn't going to make anyone feel good. Just move on.

[Primo]

You're totally right, Primo. In the grand scheme of things, I know this is really not a big deal, but it still hurts when it is so fresh. Even before this happened, I had been a bit worried that he was one of those guys who falls fast and hard, but then loses interest just as fast. Why don't I ever listen to myself? lol

Nobody listens to themselves, you're in good company

Your ego's a bit bruised, that's all...I can guarantee you didn't miss out on any grand life experience.

[curves222]

Update:
I decided sending one last e-mail, though a bit pathetic, would give me closure. I sent it to his work e-mail (so I'd know for sure he got it) Monday afternoon. I think I kept it short and calm. I basically said that he hurt my feelings and I didn't understand how he could say one thing and do another. I pointed out that, although we hadn't known each other long and were only online friends, that I deserved more consideration than that. I closed by saying, "I don't expect to hear back from you, but I just couldn't let this go without saying something."

And, guess what? I haven't heard back from him. Big shocker, lol. Whatever. It just makes me hate him more and that's fine.

But, I do already feel a lot better just writing him off. My best moment today? When I deleted his SORRY ASS from my Yahoo Messenger!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel so free and vindicated...though I'm still embarrassed by how idiotic I was to fall for all his ridiculous and cheesy lines.

[Primo]

LOL, it's nice to get an update ! Don't feel bad, geez, girls and guys fall for ridiculous and cheesy lines IN PERSON !