Sexual Problems..

[iamadreamer]

The first time I had sex with my partner was a Tragedy. I had one bf before him and we had our sex intimacy,petting, but not complete penetration.
My current partner was the first one. I was shamed or feeling stupid to tell him so and our first night something horrible happened:vaginal laceration.
I had to go the ER. After that we waited a long time before having sex again but after months things seemed fine. We live in two different countries and see each other VERY LITTLE. Im in love with this man and of course I do not have sex with other men during his absence. The problem is that when we see each other I always have sore vagina problems. I need a looooooot of time to relax and enjoy the whole thing. I feel a real Sharp pain on some positions (especially doggy style and when my legs are very spread out up). I feel very worried and concerned. He is very sensitive and understanding but seeing him very frustrated not being able to do what he wants in bed. After a few times I feel fine relaxed and enjoy the whole thing BUT It takes some time for me.
IS IT NORMAL? PLEASE HELP!

[Miss_Navi]

How long ago did you experience the initial laceration?
You could still be healing, you should consult your doctor if it is causing you problems.

[iamadreamer]

the laceration dates back to 2003. I regularly see a doctor - it is healed......

[vashti]

Are you properly lubricated? Vaginal dryness makes sex unpleasant for women. If this is a problem, I would ask if you are taking birth control pills...

[iamadreamer]

I do not take birth control pills...but lubrication is not really a problem. I "naturally" get very lubricated..

[vashti]

Are you abnormally small, or is he abnormally large?

[qwertz]

I would use some extra lubrication for starters, just to ensure that its a smooth ride.

[iamadreamer]

I am quite small but nothing abnormal!
He is a VERY BIG guy but nothing abnormal either.




its so sad..how bad messed up I am...

[qwertz]

yeh but if hes big and your small then theres gonna be probs.

Dont worry about it, loads of women have this prob..

Maake sure he 'warms you up' gets you in the mood and try to relax(easier said than done, but being tense wont help at all) and like i said, use loads of lube.

Try not to think about the pain of previous times..just concentrate on whats happening at that moment.
And make sure hes gentle to start..

[vashti]

Yeah, it could just be a size imbalance...

[iamadreamer]

Yes I see that ... BUT Why didn't he have any problems with his exs? I mean he's been dating girls even smaller than me !?!?! ;(

qwerty123 and vashti ... THANK YOU BOTH FOR TAKING TIME TO RESPOND!!!!!!

[vashti]

Your vagina may just be more shallow/narrow than the previous girls... everyone's anatomy is different.

[chump4u]

I have one question: when you ask your doctor whether or not your lesion is "healed," do you mention that sex is painful for you? If your doctor doesn't know that you have pain, his definition of "healed" may simply be that the tissue is adhering nicely, and there's no bleeding. If you tell him that the area is still sensitive/painful, he might look at things differently, or look for different things.

[SammyLC]

Have you got Vaginismus? Google it and see if that's you.

[zy02856]

maybe size imbalance