I split with him, but did I do the right thing?

[NatReturns]

Hi guys,

I have had doubts over my ex for months now, just something didn't feel right. I had started looking at and flirting with other guys and almost avoiding him.

I split with him yesterday. It was awful. He was really upset as am I. I just keep thinking how sad i am and wonder whether i made a mistake.

When with him I was adament something wasn't right. Despite the fact we get on and laughed so much. I'm just so hurt, alone, and confused and really feel desperate and sad.

Is this normal? How do I know I made the right choice?

[bloodtippedrose]

easy. if the relationship didn't feel right, you weren't happy, in love or comfortable, then its time to move on.

Next time though, break up before you start flirting and ignoring him.


edit: one more thing, next time something feels wrong or there's a fight, try talking to him about it before giving him the cold shoulder. Communication is key in a healthy relationship. Without it you're doomed to fail each and every relationship.

[IncognitoSir]

Well, what didnt "feel right". Thats really vague. I'de imagine youre pretty confused seeing as how you broke up with him for what? Sounds like you need to go talk to your ex about what u feel versus what he feels and figure out what the problem was and if it repairable or not. Gluck

[NatReturns]

I don't know what didn't feel right to be honest. I got with him 6 mths after the love of my life finished with me. It was very casual at first and i didn't really want anything but I enjoyed his company and thought I loved him.

But it wasn't the "spark" feeling that people talk about. I don't know whether it was me keeping him at a distance that was the problem so therefore things couldn't develop normally.

I was so sure over the last couple of mths that I wanted to end it and move on, but the reality isn't so clear cut. I don;t want to hurt him more by speaking to him and/or getting his hopes up, how do I be sure?

[cmacattack1]

Well honesty is certainly key here, as hard as it is to say. If you didn't feel it, you didn't feel it and it sucks but it's alot better than giving him mixed messages and leaving him in a state of confusion. Being honest to yourself and honest to him will be relief in the long run.

We all face that scary lonely feeling and always have doubts after break ups but there are alot of people out there. I guess it would be one thing if you are in your 40's and feel like the door's closing on you, but I'm guessing you are young and there are plenty of opportunities out there. And you will be able to love again as hard as that sounds right now.