Journal: A Potential Life's Lesson?

[cKranez]

So I've met this girl in Anatomy class during Summer, she was absolutely gorgeous, nerdy looking with black frames (found out later that she dressed like this for a reason) she decided to sit next to me, when i delibrately chose a seat to avoid others FML, if anything "why couldnt it be a dude?!" i thought to myself. Well i am a bit timid guy (you know shy ) So she decided to talk to me and hold a conversation and i saw a ring on her left hand ring finger so i was curious and asked if she was married, her reply was no, she had a boyfriend of 1 year, at that moment in time i thought "thank god!". Meaning she chose to sit next to me for class reasons (front), and + i wasn't really ready for another relationship since i just got out of one in (my ex dumped me because our families social status were not on the same level) .

Well things went a bit stray... we started talking to each other a lot in class which eventually lead to studying outside of the class (being summer semester then we saw each other M-TH about 6-7hours a day in class + lab, she was a workaholic a quality i admired about her since she paid for everything herself).. None the less we became close and feelings started to develop FML. She told me about how relationship in how her boyfriend was verbally abusive and wanted her to become something that she didn't want to be (a wife.. that's place is in the kitchen). I'm not a "home wrecker" i was there to tell her my thoughts upon things, basically being a ear/shoulder... So long story short she decided to break up with him ( i don't want to lie, i was quite joyful when i heard the news of course i held it to myself, thinking " yay, i can now treat her like shes supposed to be treated) Everything continued to go smoothly for a short period of time atleast i thought so.. The summer semester had just ended and she had to go on a family trip for two weeks.. and during this two weeks we did not talk because her Dad is a detective which is very "curious" about things and they loved her "ex" immensely so she would rather not deal with them about this situation. I understood that and i did not mind at all ( pretty immature if i did imo).

Ok soo this is the part where everything starts to fall apart... when she came back it was like everything was tottally different... she started to work even more because she needed the $... and we decided to talk about what was going on.. and she told me that she didn't want a relationship right now because she didn't have time for it... (she was working 5 days a week and had school for Fall semester). So i told her ill respect that and i'll wait for her... but i wish she would just tell me straight and honestly that if we didn't match , we didn't match (if that was the case)... I asked her once about that and she said " there's everything for a relationship attraction, attitude, like, etc... but i just dont have time" so i said is there no chance in the future? and she said "no i wouldnt say that..." and i asked her if i was just a rebound, she said nope.. if i was i wouldnt still be talking to you... So i decided to give her some time... i wouldn't bother her anymore and let her think and have some space.. and its been about 2 months.. and here i'am this upcoming tuesday im going to be leaving flowers outside her door as a suprise for when she gets home ... the reason for this is to see for myself "if it's really worth trying?" in the future if a like situation arises again... you can call me a bit of a romantic, but this ended with a " ? " and it's time for me to find the answer to what's really going on.. depending on how this will end, it will forever change my perspective about relationships... from " don't stop trying" to "drop it and keep it moving".....

i'd just needed to share my story and any criticisim/opinion is welcome of course if is constructive... i will post updates and everything....

ps.. dont get me wrong, i can easily move on and find another girl... but that's not me , i would like to try first then move on... i ampretty confident in my abiities to court other women, but again it's not me i prefer a relationship rather than a one night stand.. if this post generates more interest i can go deeper upon this relationship for others to best understand both parties... but as of now let it be a journal.. thank you

btw im 23 yrs old and she is 21yrs old...if that has any significance

[Konsig]

Hi cKranez,

it's not always easy, is it? There is no one answer to your question. The following is just my opinion, it might seem right, it might be wrong. It might work for you, it might not.

2 ways of seeing things:

1st point of view
It's better to regret something you've done, than to regret something you haven't done. I'd say, give it a shot. Tell her you want to see eachother a few times. Meet. Spend time together. Then swoop her of her feet with flowers, surprise her. If it works, good for you. If it doesn't, you'll have nothing to blame yourself for: you tried, and you now know for certain it wasn't meant to be.

2nd point of view
If she's holding you off like that, saying she doesn't have time - sorry to say, but she probably doesn't. She probably doesn't want a relationship right now, needs to spend some time on her own, her own projects, her own friends. You can be a friend, you can do stuff together... but I'm guessing she's not interested. But see #1, there is only 1 way to be sure.

Wanna risk it? Or rather play safe?