Unexpected Lesson in Sex

[Kaius]

I was married for 12 years, and had minimal sex during that time. My girlfriend was married for 14 years, and had almost no sex during that time. We are both very sexual people trapped in bad marriages, so when we found each other, fireworks exploded. When we first started having sex, it was head-spinning.... 4 hours at a time..... 4 bath towels and 2 bed sheets.... the whole works.

Now, 5 months later, we are of course still enjoying each other, but we had a brief 3-week abstaining period where we concentrated on the non-sexual parts of the relationship. Now for some reason she has fewer and drier orgasms. She was coming 10 - 12 times earlier on, and now she is coming 1/2 as frequently, and she saw that I was a bit worried. Then she told me something last night. She said that she is sad when I unconsciously force her to come. She said she feels pressured, and she noticed that I get softer when I lose patience. I actually never thought about it that way.... Yes I want her to feel good, but I guess subconsciously I was pressuring her to come, and it makes me lose focus. She felt that I expect her to come frequently, and when she doesn't, I get disappointed. I was completely shocked....but realized it's true! Wow... what a lesson! I had no idea! I promised her that I would be more aware and sensitive to her body. I just want her to be happy.

So after our discussion, I mentally switched gears and concentrated on loving her, instead of orgasms. Two hours later, the mattress was completely ruined. I love honest relationships.... I can never imagine having such revealing conversation with a woman 15 years ago. Women are sooooooo much sexier with age.

[Graham Berkeley]

Quit rubbing it in!!! :p

[girl68]

Aww, same is true for me. My orgasms are hugely tied to my state of mind. If I try too hard, forget it... it won't happen. If he tries to hard, I try to 'help' him, help me and it still won't happen. I enjoy a good sack session even when I don't cum so it really doesn't matter that it doesn't happen every time. So yeah, when we both just enjoy sex it's so much more fun!

Enjoy that woman!

[Kaius]

Aww, same is true for me. My orgasms are hugely tied to my state of mind. If I try too hard, forget it... it won't happen. If he tries to hard, I try to 'help' him, help me and it still won't happen. I enjoy a good sack session even when I don't cum so it really doesn't matter that it doesn't happen every time. So yeah, when we both just enjoy sex it's so much more fun!

Enjoy that woman!

That's a really good point! She said exactly that too. She really enjoys me making love to her, even without her coming repeatedly. I was surprised. Boy this was such a learning experience..... at age 35, I thought I knew everything.....guess not.

[girl68]

Haha consider this your "I learnt something new today..."

Yeah it's true its still good even if we don't bust a nut! LOL. Thought if I never did, we'd have a problem. Like last night? Nadda for me; but damn was it bloody hot!

Your woman is lucky I can never achieve more than 1 orgasm a day. Unless they are hours upon hours apart and that's only happened twice in my life.

[Petit Papillon]

I as well enjoy sex for sex not for having an orgasm. It's cool to have orgasm but it's not a priority for me. If I don't get one, I'm happy anyway because love making is sooo hot itself It bring two people together and just this is hot.
And I also noticed that if I pressure myself to come, it's harder than if I just relax and go to this magical land where I don't think of nothing but ... having sex hehe

[Sonrisa]

you hear that Vashti? we are some sexy bitches!