Awful situation...

[amtrak]

I posted here a bit ago, but I didn't quite supply as much info, etc.
Please keep in mind while reading this that we're both Mormons or 'LDS'.

So I am in college and met a girl a few months ago (LDS as well).
We met at a dance, and she was an amazing, and intelligent person from the start.

Now, I'm 19, and she is 18.
We got pretty serious, very fast, and I did learn quite quickly that she did have an ex-boyfriend who had recently left on his mission and was at the training center.
I've been in relationships up to about 9 months and I know how the love and caring works, and I know that 2 years would be pretty insane.
I knew she still had some feelings for this guy because of that, but regardless I knew also that she was an amazing person who deserved so much better then him.
He cheated on her, and they also did not exactly follow the law of chastity (no sex rule) during their relationship.

She however has repented for all of this.
He on the other hand, comes from a very strong LDS family (from what I hear).

A few nights ago, she got a call from him...
He had been released from the MTC after admitting to not repenting for his past sins.

Her family did know what they had done (as she repented, etc.) , but his did NOT.


So anyway, after she found out he was back she has been an emotional wreck.
Now me, like an idiot, thought that this was because she wanted to get back with him.

Instead, it is really because she feels it is entirely her fault completely for having sex with him while he was preparing for a mission.

So like an idiot on my part, I told her HIM OR ME because I started feeling the jealousy thinking she just wanted to dump me.

I wasn't really right, and now she is a wreck , we are not really together.

So now, his family, even part of her family, etc. is BLAMING HER entirely for this!

The guys mom told her today that if he didn't go back on his mission in a year, it would be her fault.
In my opinion, this is AWFUL!!!
I almost threw up when I heard they were trying to push this type of guilt on her.
It makes me just sick.

Yes, she sinned and it was bad.
But it was just as much his if not more and now she is basically being pushed to like marry him or something because she thinks that everything is her fault and she's terrible!!

I finally got to talking to her on txt a tiny bit tonight, and I can tell she feels awful and I feel terrible for at first putting my feelings ahead of hers when I realize how much this has affected her.


So please -- how on earth can I comfort her, and perhaps still be with her??
I know what a good person she is, and how much I truly care for her and love her.
I'd love to here what you would do in this situation.
I know we had/have something, and she is already an emotional person and now feels like CRAP. I know the best thing I can do now is be there for her.
What can I tell her to help her feel better?!?

Thank you kindly.

[FullofSighs]

Well to try to get back with her you should come clean. Be like im sorry, i acted like a jerk and i let my jealousy get the best of me and it just hurt you more. Thats just about all you can do for that. But basically you force her to tell you what's going on. Just say once, that your there for her whenever she needs you to be there.

If she feels that she needs your help, she'll talk to you. But don't keep telling her your there for here, she will just get annoyed and more upset. Things like this just take time and patience

[amtrak]

Well to try to get back with her you should come clean. Be like im sorry, i acted like a jerk and i let my jealousy get the best of me and it just hurt you more. Thats just about all you can do for that. But basically you force her to tell you what's going on. Just say once, that your there for her whenever she needs you to be there.

If she feels that she needs your help, she'll talk to you. But don't keep telling her your there for here, she will just get annoyed and more upset. Things like this just take time and patience

Thanks for the tips!
So without constantly saying the "I'm there for you" crap (which yes, I have said enough probably). What is the best way to comfort her? Meet with her? say...?
Thanks all! : - )