i'm not sure what i want with this girl.

[smitty]

Long story short, she's a friend of a friend when we met. friendship was going great, i thought i was in the friendzone but when i mentioned other girls she would get defensive and more aware of the conversation. I just thought she was being a good friend and caring. Lately we have been hanging out alone (as friends, maybe she thinks its different), and her body language is telling me she's interested, and it's kinda obvious (holding on to my arm while we walk, standing real close to me all the time, laughing at all my jokes even though i know they suck), staring at me constantly. i like her as a friend, and I won't lie even just more than a friend, but i don't know if i wanna go out with her, for reasons that..well...she's just too good for me, honestly. i don't want to get into to much detail, but i know that if i do ask her out, she will accept and things will go great but i just dont see the relationship lasting. I'm a boring guy, and she's into a whole bunch of stuff that, well we're just too different, our interests, taste of food, music, everything. and i dont want it to be awkward afterward if we do go out and split up.

I'm not sure if I want to take the chance. Part of me says go for it, people I know say go for it.

But again, she's too good of a friend and all that.

So I know I have to talk to her, and soon, especially after what happened yesterday night.

What was what I thought a friendly hanging out type of thing going to see a movie (she texted me), turned out she was leading me on and acting as if it was a date. So at one point she was so close to me and I'm pretty sure she wanted me to kiss her, and I thought about it, but didn't. She sighed afterward when I didn't.

Which leads to me to changing the subject a little....why can't a guy and a girl go out after 8pm without it being a date? Back to the subject.

I just don't know how to tell her without hurting her feelings and without making her hate me or something. I want to be really sincere and I just don't know how to do that, I've never been in this situation. But then again I really do like her a lot, so I fear that if I tell her I just want to be friends, that later on, I might want to be more than friends and I ruined a perfectly good chance if she doesn't feel the same anymore.

So I'm kinda confused, I like her but I know that we're too damn different to last.

Just some advice would be good.

[HienStk]

can't have the cake and eat it too. I say weigh out the options, would her being a gf be better than her just being a good friend to you? Both have it's ups and down. i would tell her the truth that she's ur best friend and u don't want to risk ruining what you value so much with her.

[rose36]

I think you owe it to her to be completely honest. There is no way around the fact that it will probably hurt her but the longer you drag it out the more it will hurt and the more angry she will feel that you didn't tell her sooner. She's likely to feel like she made a fool of herself because you didn't tell her when you knew how you felt. You allowed her to believe you were interested except when you didn't kiss her.

Whatever you do don't make raise false hopes and say things like 'maybe in the future I'll feel differently'. Just tell her the truth the way you said it here:

"I just dont see the relationship lasting." that's the bottom line. Be sure to use 'I' statements. You can also say something like 'I think we are different in too many ways".

You can add "I hope we can continue to be close friends". but she may need some time. if you do continue your friendship you'll need to set some boundaries like no more touching you the way she did before or standing real close to you, etc. or it feeds her fantasy. Good luck!

[smitty]

so i had a talk with her and i told her i liked her and i just wasn't sure if i wanted to be with her, and she said it was alright and that she really likes me and we could take our time. so then we hugged and kissed before i broke it up and she made a joke "you were serious?" i smiled and said yes and she was alright with it! We ended up going out for a few drinks and had a good night just hanging out as friends.

[smitty]

been a week since then. we barely contacted eachother besides a few texts and i haven seen her since.

something's very wrong.

This is exactly what I didn't want to happen.

[rateyes]

well sometiemsthe person who does the convo and tells, has to do th work afterward and make sure she knows its not awkward. Just talk to her alot and make sure she knows it shouldnt bother yall.