The Pill/Last Sexual Encounter

[tokyojoe]

My girlfriend and I are in a 2.5 year long distance relationship. The last time we saw each other was July. When we meet up, we are sexually active.

Therefore, the last lot of times we've met up, my girlfriend had gone on 'the pill' beforehand. We are due to meet up again in December, so my girlfriend was at the doctor today arranging to go back on it.

I just talked to her on the phone, and she relayed parts of the conversation between her and the doctor. One part of it alarmed me especially. The doctor asked her about her last sexual activity. And she said 'not for the last 2 months'. After she relayed that part, she went weird, did a few nervous laughs, pretended not to hear me and tried to take back what she said.

It does not take a genius to work out that 2 months prior to now is September.

She later went on to admit that she said it, claiming "well, i HAVEN'T had sex in the last two months. But just because I said 2 months, doesn't mean I had it immediately prior to the 2 months".

Maybe. But why would anyone say "for the last 2 months" if they hadn't had it immediately prior to the 2 months? It is extremely suggestive that she did.

Also, oddly, she said she wasn't sure the last time we had sex. She said she forgot about the previous trip, and thought it may have been the one before that i.e. April. So what the hell is the 2 months business? And how can I possibly relate to it?

I have had reason not to trust her in the past, but never really thought she could have cheated.

What does everyone else think?

[qwertz]

Shes cheated/cheating on you. She is obviously getting confused between when she had sex with you and the other guy/guys.

She would not have made either of these mistakes with timings if she wasnt cheating.

Classic sign of a liar..I should know, im an expert on them now

[Illusional]

so you didn't post a japan flag.. wassup with this tokyo business?

raverboy

[tokyojoe]

so you didn't post a japan flag.. wassup with this tokyo business?

raverboy

I live in the EU, but i've been to Japan a few times. Not really relevant to the post.

[lilly1185]

Before I dissect this paraphrase, let me ask a few things;

Why does she only get on bc's when she's about to see you? It's not exactly reliable for a couple of months as it takes a while to kick in (I'll spare you the lecture on what exactly the pill does). And if she's taken any antibiotics it could be particularly more harmful.
Are you sure she's even on it?

Women who get on like to stay on the pill for many reasons other than a mono-relationship. Predictable periods for one, it lessens cramps and other god-awful symptoms. I ask again- are you sure she's even on it?

Now for the fun part:

After she relayed that part, she went weird, did a few nervous laughs, pretended not to hear me and tried to take back what she said.

She put on ear muffs. THAT sets alarms off for me all over the place. She realised she made a slip up and was hoping by avoiding the topic you'd let it go. When that didn't happen, she tried to play it of by being "Oops, silly me. I had a blond moment!"

Moving on we have;

She later went on to admit that she said it, claiming "well, i HAVEN'T had sex in the last two months. But just because I said 2 months, doesn't mean I had it immediately prior to the 2 months".

DEFENSIVENESS AND RATIONALISING!
Sounds to me like she cheated or is cheating, realised her slip up, and is trying to make you feel bad for calling her out on her error.

It makes me wonder if this slip up was on purpose. If you hadn't ever suspected her before, and she knew it, why would she put herself on the spot? Unless it was intentional. Maybe she feels bad calling off the relationship and simply wants to leave the device in your hands.
Either way, you're carrying a time bomb, and it can only get worse. If you've got a bad feeling in your gut, there is a reason.

Take some time, don't talk to her. Let her feel guilty enough to confess, then move from there.
If she doesn't it'll be your decision if you trust her enough to think she just made a whoopsie or if you're better off without.

[girl68]

Ummm yeah... I kinda agree that she's not being very honest and truthful.

And also that she should be on the pill for all the time inbetween. Going on then off, then on then off isn't good for your body. And it takes one full month/ cycle for your body to be effective with the pill.

[Illusional]

well i was just wondering why you choose tokyo, that's all.

raverboy

[qwertz]

coz it rhymes with joe?

[Petit Papillon]

Why does she only get on bc's when she's about to see you? It's not exactly reliable for a couple of months as it takes a while to kick in (I'll spare you the lecture on what exactly the pill does). And if she's taken any antibiotics it could be particularly more harmful.
Are you sure she's even on it?

Women who get on like to stay on the pill for many reasons other than a mono-relationship. Predictable periods for one, it lessens cramps and other god-awful symptoms. I ask again- are you sure she's even on it?

Now for the fun part:


She put on ear muffs. THAT sets alarms off for me all over the place. She realised she made a slip up and was hoping by avoiding the topic you'd let it go. When that didn't happen, she tried to play it of by being "Oops, silly me. I had a blond moment!"

Moving on we have;

DEFENSIVENESS AND RATIONALISING!
Sounds to me like she cheated or is cheating, realised her slip up, and is trying to make you feel bad for calling her out on her error.

It makes me wonder if this slip up was on purpose. If you hadn't ever suspected her before, and she knew it, why would she put herself on the spot? Unless it was intentional. Maybe she feels bad calling off the relationship and simply wants to leave the device in your hands.
Either way, you're carrying a time bomb, and it can only get worse. If you've got a bad feeling in your gut, there is a reason.

Take some time, don't talk to her. Let her feel guilty enough to confess, then move from there.
If she doesn't it'll be your decision if you trust her enough to think she just made a whoopsie or if you're better off without.

Hmm I have some question to you:
1: What do You mean? By saying harmfull(while taking antibiotics),You mean that she's on and off on pills or just taking pills ?

And about being on and off on pills it's stupid. They aren't expensive but if You're on and off on them, You make Your body go crazy changing the cycle all the time( pills always change the cycle, at least in my case).


And what do I think about Your case OP? She's cheating on You...Sorry.Actually You can slowly look for a way to break up with her.

[lilly1185]

Hmm I have some question to you:
1: What do You mean? By saying harmfull(while taking antibiotics)

Taking antibiotics decreases the chances birth control will work. Something about the antibiotics attacking the stuff in the birthcontrol and decreasing the effectiveness...blah blah. It wasn't really relevant.

linky:[url]http://pregnancy.lovetoknow.com/wiki/Birth_Control_and_Antibiotics[/url]

[Petit Papillon]

Taking antibiotics decreases the chances birth control will work. Something about the antibiotics attacking the stuff in the birthcontrol and decreasing the effectiveness...blah blah. It wasn't really relevant.

I know it wasn't I just ask because I'm big walking antibiotic and I'm also on birth control (pills,depo shot and now pills again) And I don't use condoms with my bf... But I also don't get pregnant. So hmm... I also smoke which should cause even lower pregnancy protection, hence I never got pregnant.

[lilly1185]

I know it wasn't I just ask because I'm big walking antibiotic and I'm also on birth control (pills,depo shot and now pills again) And I don't use condoms with my bf... But I also don't get pregnant. So hmm... I also smoke which should cause even lower pregnancy protection, hence I never got pregnant.

I got pregnant when I was smoking...though I wasn't on birth control. I didn't eat a lot either, but I was living on my own ha.

My son didn't like my smoking too much when I got pregnant, I had to quit because it made me want to hurl if I so much as looked at one.

[Only-virgins]

She be getting some nookie on the side when you are gone.

[Petit Papillon]

I got pregnant when I was smoking...though I wasn't on birth control. I didn't eat a lot either, but I was living on my own ha.

My son didn't like my smoking too much when I got pregnant, I had to quit because it made me want to hurl if I so much as looked at one.

Yeah You got pregnant...Cause You weren't on a birth control. That's for sure lol...Well i don't get the point of Your post ...

[lilly1185]

Yeah You got pregnant...Cause You weren't on a birth control. That's for sure lol...Well i don't get the point of Your post ...

Which post?