Love... surreal?

[Prodigal]

After another long distance "relationship" that is crumbling like a house of cards (we rarely talk now, she seems uninterested when we DO talk... she never calls anymore), I've been deep in thought, and I have come to an epiphany. I was doomed from the beginning, maybe? I don't feel overly depressed or happy after my thoughts (in fact, I am still in contemplation), but I think that the reason that I can't find anyone is because what I desire is not attainable in this world. What I want is something that is not real.

Warning! Extremely abstract thoughts ahead!

What I want is too hard to explain. But I do know that I want to travel... I want to travel, EXPLORE!, live off the land. No, I'm not one of those nature freaks. I'm not part of Earth First. The world that I want to travel and explore isn't this Earth. It's more like a parallel world... sort of like a Gaia/Terra thing. If you don't understand, it's okay. I don't know what I look for in love. Maybe sort of like how you see it in anime and video games. How sad is that? The things that I desire most are unattainable? Why? Because they never existed. They are the figments of somebody's vivid imagination... figments that I adopted for myself and cultivated. I realize that love is different in real life than how I want it. I don't know how it is in real life, or that it can even be explained, but I know that it is different that how I've always wanted it or fantasized it to be like. If you have role-played in an online chatroom, that may be faintly close to the kind of world I would like to be in.

But it is all fake. Or maybe it is somewhere... somewhere far out there in the universe. My thoughts tell me to wait it out... and maybe good things will come in a different life. I feel that I don't belong on this world. In fact, I've felt this way for a while now.

Has anyone ever felt this way, or am I the only one? I feel that nobody else thinks like me- that I am either too abstract or abstract in a different way than others. I am a huge dreamer, and there is nothing I can or will do to change that. Any feedback would be appreciated.

[Rêveur]

Personally I think everyone does exactly what you are doing, given you sound a bit more spacey than the norm, but when you get down to it we all have created our own worlds and lived pieces of them out. Some of them involve being a world famous ice skater and some of them involve being some other-dimension space demon. You just have to be careful with yourself, dreaming is human, but living in a dream can cause serious social issues. Try to communicate more, I think you'll find you're not so alien after all.
p.s. For example I, myself, am currently quite in love with a 6 foot 5 albino sorcerer; he's a little imposing at first, but the sex is great.

[Breezy18]

I know exactly what you mean Prodigal. Everyday pressures of this world way me down and make me want to jump into the middle of a video or game. Would that not be grand? Living in some exotic location, living off the land or fighting along side your favourite hero? ah, what a life. But alas, we MUST bring to our lives some form of reality or we would truly perish. It's fun to escape momentarily though, where ever and when ever that may be.

[GBRaul]

I think the time that most people do their dreaming is when they are sleeping. I've always believed that it is in darkness that our mind wanders the most because we cannot see anything and our mind does all the work (after all that's why people are afraid of darkness, darkness is nothing scary, it's what the mind conjures). So what I do is work my ass off till I am dead tired and just plop right to sleep so I don't see my dreams if you get what I mean. I think that if someone is really tired his brain would settle into deep slumber very quickly and thus he would not see his dreams that much. Wonder if it would work out well in the long run though cos everyone tells me I'm not getting enough rest. However, if you find yourself daydreaming, personally I think that doing that once in a long while is fine, though it is one bloody big waste of time especially since you would eventually have to pull yourself back to Earth and the heavy thud back on Earth is especially painful if your mind has wandered very far.

[Prodigal]

Thanks for the input. I appreciate it.

I think I do dream a lot. The strange thing is that I never have these kinds of thoughts in my sleep dreams (I usually don't remember them, or they're like everyday experiences with a little twist.. not very exciting). All of the dreaming I wish I had at night I have when I am conscious or awake.

As for communication, I feel that I have a healthy social life. I am not the most outgoing person, but I have a tight-knit, small group of friends... along with a few others that are also very close to me. I don't find it that hard to talk to my acquaintances. I am glad to have them. They are the only thing keeping me here. I try to never take a friendship for granted, because friendships are golden.

GBRaul, you think dreaming is a waste of time? I sure don't think it is. I think it is just as necessary, if not more, than your real life. Real life is stressful, routine, usually boring, not to mention that there are a lot of assholes out there. I think I'd go crazy if I didn't dream. Real life here is what makes me NOT want to live on Earth.

Breezy- Hey, what's up? I haven't been on the boards in a while, so naturally it's been a while since I've seen you post. "...we MUST bring to our lives some form of reality or we would truly perish."? I guess I understand, in a way... but not completely. I realize that I have to go on with my life. I will probably go into the technology industry, after studying computer science in college. I understand that I have to make something out of my life. As for ever being truly happy... I think I highly doubt it. Content? Sure, that's very possible. Hell, I'm fairly content now. But true happiness... to get what my soul really desires... it won't happen.

[Breezy18]

But true happiness... to get what my soul really desires... it won't happen.

I hear you....boy do I hear you.

[GBRaul]

True happiness would never be achieved because one would never know what true happiness is. Anyway, I think that dreaming is a waste of time if done too frequently. Unless it's about something meaningful? I don't know... like dreaming that you become superman or something is crap in my opinion but for example when tackling a tough problem one has to dream of ways and means to tackle it and try them one by one. But in that case I call it brainstorming