Why am i feeling like this!?

[officerlog]

Ok - sorry to bore you with the story but here goes:

My girlfriend and I of about 2 years broke up about 6 months ago. (she ended it with me but i was happy to do so). We got on so well at the peak of our relationship, and there was talk of marriage etc but things slowly got worse when we were living in different parts of the country.

In the last few months we have still kept in regular contact (mainly her calling/texting me) and seen each other a few times.

One time when out she suggested we could get back together and even gave me a kiss on the lips, both of which i dismissed (or changed the subject).

Even after, regular contact was made, but I didnt really have any feelings for her.

I bumped into her out the other day (we were both very drunk), and she had texted me earlier to see what i was doing that night. Anyway we chatted for a few minutes at the bar and then said lets sit down and catch up. She followed but then just disappeared (I saw her walk off somewhere).

I felt pretty dejected - in fact just couldnt understand why she walked off. She said sorry the day after and that she was just drunk, and needed to find her friends.

Basically since then I have not been able to stop thinking about her, despite having very little interest over the past 6 months! it's driving me mad!

Is it because i feel she now has no interest in me, and I want her? i.e. you want what you cant have? what is she thinking? i have deleted her number in fear of texting her which i think is for the best!

[FullofSighs]

Sounds like the only thing that broke you two up was the distance brought between you two. It may so happen that she never stopped loving you. But you'll never know, until you talk about it with her

[officerlog]

Thanks for the response FullofSighs. I hope this is the case but im not holding out for it. I just dont get why she just walked off like that.

im too scared to broach it with her, and dont really know how.

She did start crying when we were out a couple of months ago and pleaded that i dont move on, now i just hope she hasn't. but why would she text me and call me so often, asking for my plans that evening if she didnt want to see me.

Think i am just going to try and forget about her for a while, live with the pain and see what she does in terms of contacting me! i hate playing games but I imagine me declaring my love for her isn't going to help.

I may change my facebook status to 'single' (currently have no relationship status) just to try and make her think that i have moved on. i know it's petty but desperate times.....