OMG I've Made It Worse!

[cmacattack1]

I don't know if I agree with that smileman. Considering all that they have gone through, I don't think a month should do it. And yeah, the best time to apologize for everything would have been right from the break up but at this point what can really be done? She has to make the steps back to him and she can't if she is still angry and hurt and he is chirpping in her ear. And it takes longer than a month to get past something like that. Everything that prolongs NC will make things a much longer wait. Just saying from my experience of post break up begging.

[IndiReloaded]

Get some counselling, Chris. I know it a scary thought, esp for a guy but it will help.

As for her behaviour, she seems cold but I suspect she went through her grieving for the relationship long before you actually split. Women tend to 'leave' emotionally well before they move on physically. Which is why its so important for guys to not ignore the signs and her early requests for discussion. Don't sweep stuff under the rug next time.

Be kind to yourself. This too shall pass.

[bluesummer]

Christian, imagine this: you get married, and your wife comes home a WEEK after your wedding and tells you they've met someone else and wants to be with them. We're not talking months here, we're talking a WEEK. Sound awful? It is, and I should know because that's exactly happened with my first marriage. Only difference is I'm a woman.

It was hell, and I couldn't figure out WHY it happened, he couldn't explain WHY, and I was so upset that I couldn't have answers. He promised to love me, to have a family, to stand by me, that I was the greatest thing that ever happened to him. How did this change without me knowing? Oh, it near drove me mad. I hated myself. I blamed myself. I figured I would never love again and no one would ever love me. Everything seemed impossible.

I can tell you there's a light at the end. Talking low about yourself is not going to help you. I understand why you're doing it, but it's only going to dig you a deeper hole. You can't rise from this awful painful place in your life until you start to think more positive. You aren't a nobody. Don't let one person's actions control your whole life.....to you, she may seem like the world, but in the grand scheme of things she isn't worth throwing your life away over, I guarantee it.

I wanted to die when my ex left me. I thought about it a lot. I thought my life would be worth nothing without him. Now, almost four years later, the realization that I ever HAD these thoughts makes me upset with myself. He was NOT worth throwing my life away for. I DID find happiness without him (this doesn't happen overnight, but it does happen). I have found real love, a man who loves me as much as I love him and I'm almost ashamed that I had feelings for a man who obviously didn't love me the way he should've.

I know it feels like you'll never get there, but you will. You just have to believe that you deserve it.

[lhn]

Jeez Bluesummer... thats pretty tough. I think ChristianonLi will be able to relate to you a bit better because marriage was involved.
Hope he is doing alright cos I can imagine he is still completely stuck in the true horrors of heartbreak!

[ChristianonLI]

I still refuse to accept what has happened. Her leaving is just not something she had a right to do, in my opinion. If she doesn't wake up, love me again and return to me I will be forced to take more drastic measures to get the message across to her that what she has done is wrong and if she hopes to redeem herself in this world she will capitulate to my desires and come back to our marriage.

This is unacceptable. I did not deserve this. She was my last chance at happiness before the end and now she's gone and I will most surely die lonely and unloved, a waste of a man who should never have been born.