Why do I feel this way?

[NewToLove]

Okay I might be wrong for feeling this way but let me start from the top.

My girlfriend has a way with me, I give in to everything she wants. she's good at teasing me and she brings up about things that bother me, she knows that it bothers me and she tells me she doesn't do it on purpose. The things she mention bother me, it makes me feel insecure, sometimes i can't even explain why they do, she brings up about the naughty things she has done or ex boyfriends or even the past. I hate it when she tells me about her past and she knows that, and it hurts me and she knows that, but why does she constantly do it? and when she figures out im hurt, she comforts me and usually it works but recently it has started to leave a pain in my heart.

I try to tease her back but whatever do, she has the upper hand. I asked her to wear my Jacket cause its cold and she wouldn't.... and she even admits she's cold... but she wont let me offer her my jacket. I don't know what to do because she always gets it her way.

Can anyone tell me how i can get back at her? tease her back, make her work for me? because everyday, she makes me work for her.

[carl1222]

Welcome. We answer posts from people of all ages. It might be helpful, though, to know your age before answering.

[NewToLove]

I'm 17, 18 in Feb.

[carl1222]

If she is deliberately hurting you by discussing her past then it's up to you not to accept this behavior. Sure, she's young ... but not too young to learn that there are consequences to treating you badly.

Your goal should not to be getting back at her, but to assert your right to be treated decently and with respect. First - be sure that you are not being overly sensitive (not likely if she is sharing details of her past intimacies). Next - TELL her to stop bringing it up because it makes you feel bad. Then - if she persists, don't feel bad ... get ANGRY instead.

If the above doesn't work, she's not the right girl for you. Time to start thinking about dumping her.

Carl.

[NewToLove]

Thanks for the advice Carl. I have confronted her about this and she cried, she tells me it's how she is, she doesn't do it on purpose, I certainly understand where she's coming from. She loves to have fun and sometimes she does take it too far, but I love her unconditionally. Maybe I've overreacted as well, it's already been 9 days since I've seen her and we went for a movie together and I can't believe i almost screwed it up.

I told her we needed time to talk openly and work some things out and she said agreed to.

[all alone]

Uhhgg.. this sounds grossly familiar to my buddy's relationship in high school.. his gf would do things to annoy him such as flirt with other guys in front of him (nothing too crazy, but just enough to get him to notice and bother him) stuff like that. If ever it would come up, it ended up w her guilt tripping him and her being made the victim.

Not to take away from your gf or whatever, but some people just don't know how to deal with the situation any differently. My buddy's gf is a really nice girl, but she had a hard time cooping with certain things and she took it out the wrong way because she didn't know how to do it otherwise.

Its a touchy situation, just try talking it out. If it keeps happening however, get out before its too late. If she can't step up and improve, just means she needs to mature.

[shheadz]

Some people are like that, and they don't mean anything by it. I dated a girl once that grew up with a bunch of older brothers. They made every day a big game to tease and embarrass one another. She grew up having "fun" like that, and tried to bring that into our relationship. I told her right off the bat that I didn't dig that kind of thing, especially because some of her jokes cut too deeply, and honestly I couldn't keep up with her.