Guys have you ever downgraded?

[Graham Berkeley]

I asked a question in the ladies forum about downgrading in boyfriends.

Have any of you downgraded in girlfriend after a break up? Why and in the end was it worth it?

[Perryville]

I'm sorry, but I don't "grade", human beings. I'm a little higher up the evolutionary ladder, to do that.

[Graham Berkeley]

I'm sorry, but I don't "grade", human beings. I'm a little higher up the evolutionary ladder, to do that.

HAHAHA Good one.

[Disillusioned]

I'm sorry, but I don't "grade", human beings. I'm a little higher up the evolutionary ladder, to do that.

Countering percieved ignorance with sanctimony? Any time you accept anyone you are settling. Of course, we never want to consider it such because it would be an insult to the person you're settling for and by association an insult to you. Do you find some more attractive than others, do some attitudes rub you the wrong way while others compliment the attraction? Blondes or brunettes?

You see, the problem is we do grade people. We judge people. We attempt to compare how we stack up, even if we try not to. What shows being higher up on the evolutionary ladder is acknowledgement of your imperfections, not claiming you don't have them. As for the question, you just graded yourself higher than the OP'er.

I've struggled with this myself, the struggle comes from honesty, not denial. People are not equal, we're born to different parents and experience different events. We try to create an "equal opportunity" atmosphere to curb discrimination based on that. If people were equal, they'd all do just as good. But we have, old, young, sick, disadvantaged and handicapped people that we try to help to give some substance to that illusory concept we consider fairness. So, should you deny that you're more attracted to skinny women or larger women for the sake of political correctness? Would that be the honest thing to do? Why would you criticise that in someone else when you're afraid to even look there? No, we have our preferences and for us those are grades. Individuality means they overlap and are poorly defined but they're there and you have to acknowledge you give the pretty girl preferential treatment before you even notice it in order to correct it...if you see it as needing correction. Biology says no, it needs no correction, sociology says yes, that's discrimination.

I've never downgraded but I've certainly upgraded from psycho bitch to responsible adult. I've upgraded from attention seeker to reasonable person. I've upgraded from D cup to a B cup too, though it was just a coincidence.

[Graham Berkeley]

Took the word right out of my mouth, Disillusioned. I think Perryville was joking though... Joking or didn't read back her own post. It happens.

[qwertz]

people are not equal but it doesnt mean we have to put them in 'grades'

[Disillusioned]

people are not equal but it doesnt mean we have to put them in 'grades'

Define grade, then? What does it mean to you, a well defined arbitrary line that says "yes" on one side and "no" on the other? We're not talking level one for a level two...that would be ridiculous, unless you are extremely shallow and superficial. We're talking about better and worse. Maybe our vague sense of personal morality is ill equipped to admit that we judge people when we hear that we're not supposed to judge people so we find creative ways to call it something else to change the nature of truth, because the truth can't be changed (there is no truth, just a "logically" ascertained premise we call truth). This is all denial, dishonesty, self-protection and fear of being seen (or seeing yourself) as a "bad" person. An opinion is a judgement. You have opinions. You can be comfortable, uncomfortable or in pain, those are grades. They are subjective and that should go without saying.

The grey area is tough and is made up of uncertainty, unfinished business and indecision, as well as the ambiguous reality of the vast majority of nature. Black and white are instantanaous events of certainty, you can't honestly dwell there. The thought of knowing something, of actually knowing it to be true is attractive but this is a changing universe and we are limited to using language and action to express ourselves.

[qwertz]

who 'decides' what grade someone is then..what is it about them that makes you come to that conclusion?
what makes one person better than the other

[kms]

So... anyway...

I'm curious what guys have to say in response to the topic of the thread.

Anyone?

[Sanctuary]

who 'decides' what grade someone is then..what is it about them that makes you come to that conclusion?
what makes one person better than the other

For girls, I know they have a mental checklist in their head that they process either consciously or unconsciously when they meet a guy on whether he's good looking, confident, is well liked/respected by his peers, tall, has money, ambitious, will he be able to take care of me, broad shoulders etc. If a guy meets all of those, he obviously gets a very high grade. That's just in general though.

But to answer the question, I've only ever really liked 3 girls that I dated and they were all better than the last (or it felt like it).
And I have downgraded, but when you ask if it was worth it in the end.. by definition, how can it be better to downgrade? What the hell?

I don't think we consciously choose to downgrade. In one situation, the girl broke up with me and the next girl I thought I'd like just wasn't as good as the girl before her. Of course you don't really notice these things until you look back.

[CAM]

Hold on, let me check my dating passport. Sigh....downgraded. Damn.

Seriously, though, one doesn't get downgraded if one adopts the simple rule:

If you exude self-confidence, security, intelligence, have a pleasant smile and quick wit...you are halfway there with any woman with whom was has a emotional connection...regardless of social caste.

[Perryville]

Not at all, dissillusioned. Countering vulgar behavior with enlightened. Subjective qualification is human, standards of quality are vulgar and shallow.

[IndiReloaded]

Anyone who calls themselves 'enlightened', isn't.

Disillusioned, your posts are great. I think your SN is terrible for someone as wise as yourself. My judgement only, of course.

[lilly1185]

Perhaps it's a pun.

[Only-virgins]

I don't understand. Upgrade or downgrade? I had no clue that people have become computer software? Where is my patch?! OV 1.2!