Rejected by girl to dance, not giving up! What next?

[tianshiz]

I've known this girl for half a year in college. We are from the same home town and hanged out a bit over the summer. I didn't like fall head over heels or anything for her at the beginning and I didn't even realize that I liked her till a month or so ago. Prior to that, I only saw her once in a while since we were in the same class.

When I realized that I wanted more than a friendship with her, I became a bit more proactive, asking to meet up for lunch, events, etc. Most of the time she came and we hanged out, but only while her friends were there also. I didn't really show my feelings towards her till a few days ago, when I bought a hello kitty doll(she loves hello kitty) and placed it with a note by her door.

The note just said that I thought about her while passing the hello kitty store and thought of getting her a gift. It was just something to show she was special, not a love letter.

After finding the gift, she txted me and thanked me. I foolishly called her immediately after the text and asked her to come to the dance with me. My intention was to ask her to go as friends, but I didn't mention that to her on the phone and she probably thought of it as a date. She couldn't answer immediately on the phone..

Next day she told me in person that she's too busy to go. I heard from friends that she was intending to go to the dance just with her friends, but because she didn't really want to go with me "that much"(exact words used) and because she doesn't want to give me false hopes, she rejected me.

It was kinda awkward meeting her after that, but I think I pretty much worked my way out of the awkwardness now. The dance is in a few more days, and I don't want to give up on her. What should I do?

Should I ask her again? And this time, stating clearly that this is just as friends and for fun? I don't want to force her to come...any advice is appreciated.

[mountainhopper]

Well your not in a bad position at all,

Go to the dance and have fun, try not to be phased by the fact she did not want to go as your date. If she sees that your happiness is not dependent on her, especially in a social setting, she might become more interested.

Just keep on treating her with respect and don't try too hard.

[thrillaveza]

yeah i second the post above. don't let it get to you that she didn't necessarily wanted to go with you to the dance. keep it as if that rejection didn't hurt you, if anything make it seem like you have your caught up with your own priorities to notice her. in that sense.

[tianshiz]

alright I will try doing that. She told one of her friends that I'm not her type. I'm not sure what I can do though about that, can I attract her even without being her idealized man?

[thrillaveza]

well that is possible but i don't know if it will work. umm there's 3 things you can do. if you really think she's worth it, you can try somehow discover what her "type" is and be her type or perhaps just keep being her friend or just accept that you won't be her type and move on and no contact. trust me, i was in your shoes. i did gestures as what you posted above( hello kitty thing) and in the long i ended up getting the bitter end of it. i think i should have proceeded and moved before i fell hard for her.

but yeah like i said, if you think she's worth it then, you can try and keep persisting.

s

[bloodtippedrose]

shes just not that into you dude..

My guy friend in high school had a crush on me, asked me to a dance I was planning on going to with my group of friends (including him if he wanted to go) and I told him no and didnt go.
Next year the same dance came around and I told him okay out of guilt but canceled at the last second because my parents were in a car accident AND i really didnt want to go with him.

He was an awesome friend but I knew i didnt want to date him. Even if i gave him a chance i would have to force/trick myself to see any "spark."

Even now, 7-8 years later if he wanted to be exclusive with me, Id... say... no... because I know hes not compatible with what I want in a love life.

If you keep hanging on to her romantically youre only hurting yourself.