Adult decision or easy way out?

[Rosinha]

Me and my boyfriend of 3 years broke up recently. We were always best friends during our relationship and we are very open-minded when it comes to relationships, so we never argued because of jealousy for example, but we did argue sometimes over other things (like me leaving tea bags all over his kitchen). We got to a point where friendship was the main focus of our relationship. We stopped having many intimate moments and started getting on each others nerves, so we decided to end it recently. We sat down to talk and realized we would be much better off as friends. We still do the same things together we did before, we are still best friends, and we are happier most of the time to be honest, but we do love each other and feel attracted to each other still. It does not hurt to be around him but I do miss our intimate moments together, and so does he.

To be honest, the simple fact of him being 'my boyfriend' holds me back a little bit from doing whatever I wanna do whenever I wanna do it (NOT talking about other guys), and the same thing happens to him. We are actually considering being 'friends with benefits', but I am confused as I don't see that big of a diference between that and what we used to be. (except for the fact that my parents won't be allowing anymore sleepovers involving him )
Sometimes I am happy but other times I am sad. Sometimes I wanna be just friends but then I just feel like cuddling up. (We actually still do that sometimes, he is a very physical person)
I am wondering, did we make the right choice by breaking up or did we just take the easy road? Could it be that we are lazy maybe, or weird?
I'm totally confused right now and could use some help.

[lahnnabell]

You began this post by saying you guys want to stay friends because that is all you feel that the both of you can manage (given the desire for intimacy has gone away and whatnot), then you go on to say that you contemplating friends with benefits with this guy and that you both miss cuddling, etc. So, which is it?

I think you guys are afraid to officially attempt to move on from what you once had and are seeking each other out as comfort from a familiar source. What happens if/when one of you really wants to move on and becomes interested in another person? There is going to be a lot of pain, hurt, and resentment.

I say you two need to make a decision. Either you going to be together romantically (let's be honest, you two have feelings for one another still) or you're going to be friends, nothing more. However, I do believe you guys should be giving each other ample time and space before you can attempt to be friends.

[James1388]

Sounds like you need to break up and see what else is out there. Don't dwell on him or the past. Try really hard to meet new people and if down the road you get back together, you do. But don't worry about him, let fate take over.

[kms]

I think you need to sit down and figure out why exactly you decided not to be in a relationship with him anymore. What was it exactly that made it too difficult? Personality? Lifestyle habits? Interests? Life goals?

How would a real relationship be different from a friends with benefits relationship? Really, isn't a real realationship simply that: a best friend with benefits? The only difference is that you wouldn't be doing anything sexual with anyone else... but you already mentioned that you weren't interested in that.

Perhaps you two just spent too much time together and didn't have enough time apart to do your own things and continue developing your own interests. Any successful, healthy relationship will have time for each person to do their own individual things. Otherwise, what would you talk about when you're together?

[Cbrider]

sometimes over other things (like me leaving tea bags all over his kitchen).

Straight guys hate getting tea-bagged, or so I've been told.

[vashti]

I don't know if you should break up or not, but if you are gonna break up with him, then quit hanging around together. You are reverting back to old behaviors out of habit, and at the current pace, you will never move on.