I have too many guy friends..

[puddleuddle]

So, I have a boyfriend whom I love very much. We spend a lot of time together and sometimes I feel like I should be hanging out with other people besides him, for obvious reasons of course.

My only problem is I have almost no girl friends, all my friends are guys.

I used to think it was okay to hang out with my guy friends one on one because they are simply friends and nothing more, but that was at the beginning.
Now I feel extremely uncomfortable hanging out with guys because my boyfriend has admitted to being possessive (though not proud of it) and I feel like if I hung out with a guy friend I would have to lie about it to spare his feelings..

So my solution is just not hanging out with anyone else and feeling lonely in the mean time..

What should I do? I honestly don't blame my boyfriend,, and I'd feel the same way if I were him.
Is there a way to make him realize it's harmless? Should I just suck it up and try harder to make female friends?

Thanks in advance.

[heart_broken]

I would have to say the most basic and obvious thing and that is, if he really likes/loves you he actually wont mind.

I only say this because in a relationship there will always have to be trust in order for it to be stable. And if he truly does trust you he won't mind that you are with another man. But, however you need to be able to trust yourself, that you wont do anything that will not only deceive your boyfriend but also not to decieve yourself

NOW, solutions. I guess there are many ways in order for you to see the harmlessness, the most simply being allowing him to meet these other men who are close to you. If he is able to become friends with them and gets to know them, he will not only trust in you but also in the guys, that they wont do anything to you. Another solution is, since that you said that your boyfriend is possesive, you should really space yourself from him, and im not exaggerating on this because if he becomes too clingy to you, you may be in a very awkward position. There will be no space to breath if he moves from possesive to clingy. Theres a huge jump. So I would advise you to space yourself, just so that he can know what it feels like away from you, creating a sense of longing. Also allowing the relationship to build further.

Anyways I hope that my advice was useful to you. And good luck

[Perryville]

Pud, Yes you should try to develope new friendships with women, to help you with your lonliness, but you need to show your BF, by your actions, that he has nothing to fear from your Guy friends. You can do this by, as HB says, having your friends become his friends too, and never do things with your friends that would put you in a compromising position or could be misinterpreted. The one thing you should NEVER, EVER, do is to lie to your BF. Whether to spare his feelings or not. In a situation like this, it will almost always get back to him, and will damage or destroy his trust in you.

[Deus_Ex_Machina]

Pud, Yes you should try to develope new friendships with women, to help you with your lonliness, but you need to show your BF, by your actions, that he has nothing to fear from your Guy friends. You can do this by, as HB says, having your friends become his friends too, and never do things with your friends that would put you in a compromising position or could be misinterpreted. The one thing you should NEVER, EVER, do is to lie to your BF. Whether to spare his feelings or not. In a situation like this, it will almost always get back to him, and will damage or destroy his trust in you.

That, or you could try befriending women, and ditching the guys. It disrupts the Yin-Yang flow of balance, you have too much Yang, too little Ying.
(Translation: Get to know a couple of females, make friends with them, because if your boyfriend is as paranoid as my best friend is, say goodbye to him)

[davidtorres]

Make female friends.

Seriously guys look at that. I would date a girl that has a lot of guy friends but I will never take her seriously. Since shi* could happen. Guys will think of it this way, what if we fight, she goes running to her guy friends and since shes vulnerable she will do it with the guy?

Well you'd feel the same way if was the other way around.

[Chupacabras]

Your boyfriend needs to work on his jealousy and insecurity and you need to get some girlfriends. There's no reason you shouldn't have friends of the opposite sex, so long as they're clearly friends; your BF's admitted to his problem with possessiveness. You can help him get over it, but ultimately it's his problem and not something you should have to completely restructure your life around.

I do believe people need friends of the same sex, no matter how well they get along with the opposite.

[puddleuddle]

Thank you guys so much.

I think it's just easier to hang out with guys, but trust me I am not emotionally close to any of them. They're just someone to chill with rather than be restless and bored. Guys are so willing to pull through and hang out on a moment's notice while the girls in my life are so flaky and unwilling.

Another thing I left out is that I know my boyfriend already suspects/knows one of these guys has a thing for me, so that's why I say I'd feel the same, no matter how much I know my intentions are to just be friends.

I guess I just really have to work on getting some new girlfriends. :/

[lahnnabell]

Puddle, I hear you on this. I have a ton of guy friends, and I lived with several of them within the last year (with other female roomies as well). My BF at the time lived 1 1/2 hours away at the time, and I could tell there were some uncomfortable moments for him, despite his having met them all. It's always been exceptionally difficult for me to make and keep girl friends. I find that most girls are catty and jealous and petty. I wasn't into defending myself all the time, and so guys were a far better option.

One in particular was a huge party we'd decided to have and I was excited because I was planning on getting totally plastered. I came to find out later on that my BF was freaking out about it (he couldn't come to the party as he was recovering from knee surgery at the time) and was worried I would just hop into bed with someone else. We'd only been dating for a couple of months at that point, so I can understand his trepidation. Prior to the party I reassured him that I would stay safe, and that I had many friends to keep an eye on me so that I didn't drink myself to death.

I made sure to call him first thing the next day to let him know I was alive and well, and to remind him that I cared about him. I'm a big advocate of open and consistent communication. So, I agree, don't lie or omit truths (same as lying in my opinion). Keep it honest and clean. Your BF will come around as mine eventually did.

[damn2008]

God bless good ol' mom for this line but it rings true so many times:

"I'd rather be angry with the truth than happy with a lie."

Keeping the honesty is VERY important, even though your B/F might be angry or jealous...keep it real and keep it HONEST. Now granted, it is good that you recognize he is uncomfortable with it, because naturally...if the shoe was on the other foot..I'm sure you would not be too keen on him hanging out with other girls all the time.

I advise getting some more girlfriends. You can stay away from the flakes, but give everyone a chance because ultimately no one can help you through any of your boy problems you may have better than other girls who can speak from experience.

Some guys are totally cool being friends, but others are friends with girls for ulterior motives (like trying to get with them). It's VERY cool that you respect your boyfriend and can recognize this...because if you two have issues or anything, he's going to be very insecure with who you might be looking to for advice...and that may make things worse.