broke up because of white lies

[Petit Papillon]

Wow this phone feature is cool. I never heard of something like that. I just heard that You can setup something to see where the phone is right now. It was made for parents to control (or like they said, to know where they are for their safety ) their children.

[blued]

waaaa.... I guess my samsung has got SOS option etc. that it automatically accePt calls even I dont accept it. I don't know how he did it... but I checked my received callS and I can see records of his calls... just seconds then it automatically turned off..

well ... I wondered at first and doesn't believe either but when ı checked my phone Gosh it was reaL

[valhensing]

thee guy's just looking for a reason to dump you and get the house.

[blued]

I agree with you thanks

[Chazza2k]

Sounds to me like you both took each other for granted for a long time and stopped communicating with each other. Trust gets lost very quickly soon after!

I don't understand the lieing when you really had nothing to lie about? If your just going out with friends why feel the need to? Is it because you really didn't want to face his reaction? He obviously didnt trust you and used some phone trickery to find out the truth but really all this could have been avoided if you told the truth. Don't beat yourself up too much I get the feeling you have both lost trust in each other, its not just your fault.

You have apologised and done all you can and if you both still cannot get past it you really need to think of yourself. You pay the rent and bills and for all the furnishing in the house. Ok so you made a few errors of judgement learn from it, you tried to put them right thats all you can do. Don't allow him to make you feel guilty to basically take everything you own!! Is his name on the lease? does he have any legal rights to stay there? If the situation is more complex consider getting legal advice before you act. It may come down to having him removed from your premisis. If you paid for everything and he really has nothing then he is going to try every trick in the book. You need to know your rights /options before you start this.

[Perryville]

Blue, have him evicted. Go to the cops, present the lease in your name, and they can do the rest.

[blued]

Thanks, I admit as what I have said I have faults. Now about the house issue, yes his name is on the lease not mine... everyhting we bought was in his name. And there was one time we fought that he told me to get out from the house, I said why should I? he said this house is named after me. But ı paid for all of this, I said. he said I don't care, you didn't even sign in the contract etc. How can I sign I didn't even meet the owner of the house. I gave the money He negotiated by himself, I said you are so rude and mean.
Well, I guess my fault was I trusted him when it comes to money and other material stuff. I never count anything I spent. I have nothing to do about this ,I guess coz all of these stuffs named after him.
I might give way, There is nothing I can do.

Please note I am not from his country. I came here to work.
Now I learned my lesson and I have opened my eyes wide ..
Through the help of the people right here in this site,
Thank you so much for sharing your ideas and opinions.
I just no one to share with my problems to open up such things like this becoz I know my friends will gonna laugh at me.

again thank you.. I need your prayers that I can get through with this

God Bless..

[Chazza2k]

Sorry to hear that it looks like thats going to be a very expensive lesson learned for you. You should seriously consider moving out and finding somewhere new for yourself, Chalk this all up to a learning experience and move on? I hope you meet some good people in future some you find that can share your problems with.

I wish you well for the future. Goodluck.

[davidtorres]

David you are right, I lied and he should'nt trust me. I am just doing this coz I don't want to be asked over and over again with the same questions.
He does'nt share at all. If ı asked the same Q he gets mad at me. That makes me so upset coz I know inorder for a relationship to grow we need to share our problems, opinions and feelings.
I understand you that ı cannot be trusted anymore becoz of small things I lied to him, but he lied to me as well, and he's lie is not just small things like mine. and the problem is he never admits he lied but I can see evidences of what he did. I guess some people will not admit they lied if they were not caught in the act.

I know I can't fix it

Thanks for your opinion

you guys dont trust and lie to each other. i dont see why you guys want to get married? either way its over for him. just give it up and find another guy that suits you.

[cmacattack1]

Yeah, he probably hasn't learned from his past relationships why they went wrong and might have not been ready for the commitment. I remember two girlfriends ago I dumped her thinking oh I was right, she wasn't the one, if she was it would have worked out.

I didn't reflect upon why it went wrong and didn't look at my behavior, I thought I was the winner being the one to dump her. And a few months later I had another girlfriend and the same mistakes and the same behavior drove her away, only this time it hit home because she was somebody I actually cared about. I've been alone for a few months and it really gave me time to think about it and learn alot.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that he not very emotionally mature and probably wasn't ready for your relationship and just took the honeymoon stage right into the engagement. I know that sounds crazy as I'm just a 23 year old guy still living at home heh, but physical maturity (having a job and being independent and living on your own) doesn't really reflect how you can cope and deal with a relationship.

Another thing about the opening up part. I'm not a person that opens up and until I lost this recent girlfriend I never really looked into why. And yeah it has issues to do with my past but eventually I would have opened up at some point. My ex opened up to me and told me "nobody knows me like you do, not even my parents." And yet, when I didn't return that same trust she got upset and angry and argued that "she told me everything about her." It's not a transaction, don't do that and expect it to be reciprocated. Do you think possibly you did that and you lost your patience trying to get him to return the same? I'm not trying to bat for him here, just trying to get you to see it from his possible point of view (even if he isn't trying to see it from yours).

The sad part is that he knows all the answers and at this rate you probably won't get them. Alot was involved here (home, assets) and it's going to be very messy and hurtful. All you can do is separate yourself from this situation and take some time on your own. This might not be the end of you guys but nothing is changing in the current situation and things are getting worse. Nobody knows what will happen in the future.

[blued]

Sorry to hear that it looks like thats going to be a very expensive lesson learned for you. You should seriously consider moving out and finding somewhere new for yourself, Chalk this all up to a learning experience and move on? I hope you meet some good people in future some you find that can share your problems with.

I wish you well for the future. Goodluck.

Thank you for your opinion and advice Yes, a very big mistake but I don"t have any regret coz I loved. I need to move on as ASAP but to move on is not easy coz I put all my money in our house for the sake of Love. It didn't work out so I need to sacrifice a little. I will stay in our house for the meantime but, I will not pay the bills anymore.

Thank you so much.

[blued]

[QUOTE=cmacattack1;525490]Yeah, he probably hasn't learned from his past relationships why they went wrong and might have not been ready for the commitment. I remember two girlfriends ago I dumped her thinking oh I was right, she wasn't the one, if she was it would have worked out.

Hi cmacattack1

I agree with you that not all people especially men are very vocal with their emotions inorder for a relationship to grow, we need to share about whats happening between each other.
I shared everything my feelings for him, my problems and even my concern for him whenever I saw him he was so damn down. I felt how he struggles for his life. without me he can"t afford to have the things we have in our house. I am just so upset that he never appreciate the things I have done for him. All I need is just to appreciate and thank me but I never heard it from him NEVER.

Anyway thank you for your opinion I appreciate it.