please ladies help me understand

[michaelarwas]

Hi everyone,

well i have no idea where to start with this i really dont. i guess with a bit of background. I am 19 years old and met sophie in june last year at work. I had just finished boarding school and was starting a job as a waiter. I met her in the kitchen and she took my breath away. Very quickly we fell in incredible, passionate love. She loved me so insanely much and last year it was her who loved me more than i loved her. We spent every day together, i mean every day for six months. In December last year i made her pregant, we had an abortion that damaged us both an incredible amount. We had already talked about the possibilities of a future together. However i was never there enough emotionally, our parents pressured me to make sure we had an abortion rather than kept the baby. I think she still blames me to this day. Anyway our love remained, we would fight a lot but loved each other so much that it would never matter. We spent a beautiful summer together, went to france and just were so happy to be together. Then this september we went back to university in leeds for our second year and something changed in her. She no longer loved me with the same passion, before it was incomprehensible for us to break up. But she broke up with me, broke my heart. However i knew she never really wanted for us to be over, there was too much love. We got back together and she said she would never hurt me again, she promised. But last week she broke up with me again, told me she no longer was in love with me and wanted me to move on and get over her. I cant begin to tell you the pain taht caused me, i nearly ended my life, i love her and missed her so incredibly much and feel that i cant be without her. I mean it, you all probably think that this was just a young fling, i can swear to you its not. Its the real thing. Anyway, yesterday she phoned me in the morning and was being her again, her old cute self. We went for a coffee and spent a lovely day together. We went into christmas shops and looked at cards. She wanted me to look at babies and to think thats how we were going to be. She told me she loved 8 times and kissed me and held me like she was so sorry for letting me go. We went back to her house and just watched films and cudded. Then she looked at my phone and saw a text from another girl who really is only a friend and went crazy. She slapped me 8 times, through me out, blocked me on facebook and on her phone. She sent me a text saying "i cant believe it after everything, i burnt the book you made me and have gone to birmingham." She lied about birmingham for some reason (she never left her house). Today she has ignored me completely, i went round to her house to try and talk to her and got my mum to ring her. All of a sudden its over again, she doesnt love me and wants me to get over her. I just dont understand, yesterday she was her again, today its completely different and i just dont understand. I havent got with anyone since she broke up with me and just dotn understand how her jealousy can suddenly turn into her actually not loving me, blocking me out of her life completely, emotionally torturing me and thoroughly crushing my already broken heart. How can she do it like this? What is she trying to do? Please help

[Rosinha]

One thing is for sure, she didn't have a very sane reaction to that text of yours. Slapping you over a text from a friend? o_O
And even if it wasn't just a friend. she did break up with you...
I am going to guess she might still be upset due to the abortion. It takes a lot of time to move on completely, and she will never forget it. It's a pretty screwed up situation for a girl, a guy can only try to understand... Still that does not justify her behaviour.
Don't let her rule your life, she probably does that because she knows you'll come running when she feels like it. You should be able to have female friends, and you shouldn't have to justify every single text on your cellphone, that's not a healthy relationship.
If you get together with her again make sure you talk about that first thing. Tell her you'll stay with her because you want to, and not because she wants you to.

[chump4u]

You knocked her up, then hounded her into aborting her baby. Now you wonder why things are just not the same.

Finding a girl's number on your phone confirmed what she suspected: that you're a selfish bastard. Too bad for you that it was an "innocent" text, but sometimes a lie confirms an essential truth.

Do the girl a favor and leave her alone. Perhaps she can salvage her life and a little of her sanity by aborting you.

[IndiReloaded]

She's probably emotionally damaged from the abortion. It must be a pretty traumatic thing to experience. Perhaps being with you reminds her of it, so breaking up with you is a way for her to heal. Pay attention to how she acts, not what she says. Based on your post, I'd say she's acting like a girl getting ready to move on. Sorry, but it might be best for you both.

[Kaius]

You kids are too young to take things so seriously. What do you expect? Marriage, kids and happily ever after? If you experience so much drama so early on, wait till you have kids together... Move on man, and live life a a bit before getting tieds down again. You need to be playing at this age, not going through heartbreaks.

[kms]

Yeah... she slapped you 8 times for a text from a friend?? How did you even let her keep going... you didn't get up? Grab her hand to stop her at least? Anyway wow. That's a pretty extreme reaction. Physical violence is never ok, even if it's from a female! If she acts like this to something that's not even an issue, how on earth would she react in a real argument?!

[michaelarwas]

im not a selfish bastard at all i love her unconditionally. at least her slapping me showed she cared but now im not sure. shes very confused and i guess i can only give her space no matter how much pain it causes.