Ok guys, help me understand what goes through your head sometimes…

[falling]

How can a guy be in love with the girl he is with but still cheat on her and/or lie to her on more than one occasion?

Why do guys do these things but claim to have no interest in the girl they cheated with?

How can a guy claim to want to spend the rest of his life with his girlfriend because she is the love of his life, yet at the same time, can’t seem to stop thinking about his first ‘love’.

One more… how come some guys can’t seem to make (or maybe they just don’t want to make) ex-girlfriends go away?

I’ve been in each of these situations at one time or another and I’m just looking for a little insight and I know these don't apply to all guys.

[Cbrider]

You just pick them poorly, there's nothing more to it than that.

You can't cheat and claim to love someone, its a complete contradiction of the whole meaning/connotation of the term.

[TheWizard]

Case 1)
He's thinking with the wrong head and has no respect for the feelings of the other involved.

Case 2)
He's thinking with the wrong head and has no respect for the feelings of the other involved.

Case 3)
This one is going to be very guy dependent. If he can't forget his first he probably didn't have a lot in between the first and the current, is what I think. The first also tends to be the basis for comparison no matter how irrational for girls and relationships later.

Case 4)
Most of the time they won't go away, it depends how it ended. "losing the love of your life" can go both ways. Also depends on proximity and the like. If she still lives in town it's probably a possible fling on the back burner type of thing, really depends.

[lahnnabell]

As for the ex-girlfriend question...

I'm a woman who is good friends with about 75% of her exes. I think that it is okay to remain in touch with exes given that enough time has passed and the original feelings of romance of dissipated.

I think the real question here is, why do guys fail to prioritize effectively? For example, a guy's current g/f should always remain a priority above any ex-g/f's. My boyfriend knows this. He has a sort-of-ex (meaning they slept together minus any sort of commitment) that has recently come back into his life. This was mostly due to the fact that she is going through some sh*t right now, and needs a friend. Apparently she doesn't make/keep friends easily, and my guy is not the type to leave someone hanging.

So, he takes her phone calls when he can, and gives her pep talks. He knows that getting together with her in-person is not an option since she still has more serious feelings for him and he doesn't want her to develop any false hopes. But if he and I are spending time together, or it's not a good time, he lets it go to voicemail.

So, the ex-girlfriends shouldn't necessarily have to go away. If a guy is consistently forgoing time with is g/f, or making her feel like less of a priority, then it may be time for a talk.

[Primo]

To answer it simply for you.

If they're young, they want experience, to try the variety and spice that different sexual partners have to offer.

If they're older, something is missing from their relationship and they're seeking it elsewhere.

I'd probably make that break in age at around 30 or so...

[davidtorres]

How can a guy be in love with the girl he is with but still cheat on her and/or lie to her on more than one occasion?
- maybe because hes a cheater but this question applies to females too.

Why do guys do these things but claim to have no interest in the girl they cheated with?
- its a challenge. its a game. guys like games as much as girls likes to play games

How can a guy claim to want to spend the rest of his life with his girlfriend because she is the love of his life, yet at the same time, can’t seem to stop thinking about his first ‘love’.
-he said what you want to hear. lol

One more… how come some guys can’t seem to make (or maybe they just don’t want to make) ex-girlfriends go away?
- guys use that as a fall back. just in case you find someone better, he can go back to his Ex -gf.

[Peter Pry]

I've never cheated, but that's because I always get permission first. But since I do play in the extracurricular sandbox, you might consider me to have some knowledge in this area.

How can a guy be in love with the girl he is with but still cheat on her and/or lie to her on more than one occasion?

People (not just men) have affairs because they are attracted to somebody and can have them. They lie about it because they don't want to get in trouble. It's really not any more complicated than that. They are thinking selfishly and only in the short term and not about their partners' feelings. By the same token, it's not about the partner at all. It's not about whether they love or don't love their partner, or about whether they are getting enough at home. It's just about the availability of something shiny and new and the desire not to get in trouble once they've had it.

Why do guys do these things but claim to have no interest in the girl they cheated with?

In a lot of cases, because it's true. Sex != love. In the other, it's again thinking selfishly in the short term so as not to get in trouble. Not a great mystery of the ages here.

How can a guy claim to want to spend the rest of his life with his girlfriend because she is the love of his life, yet at the same time, can’t seem to stop thinking about his first ‘love’.

Loving one person doesn't prevent feelings for others. Also human nature. Anyone who tells you that they never ever think about their exes is lying to you.

One more… how come some guys can’t seem to make (or maybe they just don’t want to make) ex-girlfriends go away?

If she's a valuable friend, why would I betray her like that?

[Moe]

How can a guy be in love with the girl he is with but still cheat on her and/or lie to her on more than one occasion?

Never lied to a women in my life and cheaters should be hung out to dry.

Why do guys do these things but claim to have no interest in the girl they cheated with?

They are loser's.

How can a guy claim to want to spend the rest of his life with his girlfriend because she is the love of his life, yet at the same time, can’t seem to stop thinking about his first ‘love’.

I'm there now it sucks big time, I've always been honest with my new G-Friend and I usually end the relationship because of it

One more… how come some guys can’t seem to make (or maybe they just don’t want to make) ex-girlfriends go away?

It sucks I'm there they just won't go away. Maybe we are so in love or they made such an impact on us?

I’ve been in each of these situations at one time or another and I’m just looking for a little insight and I know these don't apply to all guys.

Thanks not all us guys are bad you know. LOL

[Mr_Natural]

Why do guys do these things but claim to have no interest in the girl they cheated with?

How can a guy claim to want to spend the rest of his life with his girlfriend because she is the love of his life, yet at the same time, can’t seem to stop thinking about his first ‘love’.

One more… how come some guys can’t seem to make ...ex-girlfriends go away?

Guys can have sex with 100 different women but still love their main gf. Sex and love are unrelated. Ex-gf's are ideal for such liaisons. They're a known quantity: all they want is sex with a guy they can trust, and that's all your bf wants.

Sex is a lot simpler with a friend. You (the gf) want more than sex. You want love, which means promises and commitment and all the hidden items buried in the fine print. It's a hassle for a guy to have sex with his own gf. It's a lot easier to have simple, meaningless sex with a friend-girl, with no strings attached. Sure, it hurts when you (the main gf) find out, because you think he's "in love" with the other girl. He's not.

[Summer123]

To answer some of your questions..i recommend the book 'Act like a lady, think like a man' by steve harvey. He talks about why some men cheat or do other things like that. It's really good and explains it well