Western and non Western girls

[Mish]

I know this will probably be a controversial thread with possibly a few accusations of mysogenism in my direction (and perhaps some of culture bashing) so I'm sorry to bring this thread upon LF. But once again, something in the other thread made me think about this again. You may have seen me post something like this before, but I thought I needed to post a complete summary for some reason.

Because the experiences I had with both types of women were so consistent I thought I'd map them here just to get more clarity on the issue. Mostly for myself, a place to summarize my views on the subject. Seriously, even though this thread is controversial I don't really want to argue because we all know what that's like. Any feedback will be welcomed. Anyway, these are the impressions that the two types of women I met and dated left on me.


Western girls

By Western girls I refer to girls born in western countries, with particular type of culture, (i.e. mix of capitalism, social liberalism etc.) So technically born in Western Europe, US, Russia (but not the whole of Eastern Europe), Canada or Australia.

Before I start, I want to point out that there were a lot of exceptions to the below. I'm not saying that every singe girl born in the western world is like what I describe here because that's not true, I was friends with some amazing western girls who'd never do things like this, it's just unfortunately when dating I found them to be in minority.


- Materialism

Time and time again I was struck by the amount of monetary value that western girls placed on relationship over anything else. At times it seemed that my value as a person was directly correlated by the amount of money I was spending on them. Things seemed so money centric that at times I wondered if I was dating a product.

Legs - $500
Arse - $900
Boobs - $1,300

And as a product they would act in a "neo-Elle" manner, demanding compensation for pretty much anything. In reality it wasn't this bad, but the real monetary motivation behind many interactions wasn't too far from the surface.

- Lingo

I've noticed a requirement for a kind of code when dating these girls. These would sometimes range between references to popular culture to sport to local events, but almost always there was a requirement for lingo that identified you as a local. To be fully accepted I felt like I needed to talk local, act local, be local, any deviation was not acceptable. They'd act in a way that if I didn't use local lingo I'd have little value as a person.

- Self Centerdness

At times it felt that nothing in the world was important unless it somehow benefited them. Words had to be chosen carefully to extract the most value for them and everyone around them had to dance carefully to their tune. Reality was subjective and the universe was there to revolve around them. I honestly never met as many people who thought so highly of themselves and who had as many needs to increase their personal value above everyone elses.

- Power struggle

Many times over I consistently felt probed for weaknesses that can be undermined and used against me to the girl's advantage in the future. Even when there was nothing to justify this, it felt like second nature to some of the women I dated, like they were already conditioned to do this as some kind of insurance policy. In many of my interactions I felt there was always a power struggle going on beneath the surface, who is really in control and who wears pants in the relationship. Many times over I've heard that even though there is equality, the woman holds the real power in any relationship, a universal truth that should just be accepted and adhered to. Happy wife, happy life, only with particular emphasis on who has the real power in a relationship, at whose expense. I almost started to believe this until I started dating non western girls.

- Lack of understanding and support

Perhaps the biggest hurdle for me was the scarcity of these two key components in my relationships with western women. Relationships were rife with mis-communication and misunderstanding to a point that made me think they simply didn't want to understand. Things may have been going well, but as soon as any problems appeared, understanding and support would disappear almost in an instant. I felt compelled to explain how their support for me would benefit them first before they could provide it. The saying "Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you are crying alone" was never truer with these women.


Non Western girls

By non Western girls I refer to girls born outside of Western Europe, US, Russia (but not the whole of Eastern Europe) Canada or Australia.

And once again, I don't want to come off as saying that all non western girls are these "angels". I've met quite a few horrendous specimens, but when dating, these turned out to be in minority.

- More humane values

First difference I've noticed when dating non western girls was the difference in values that they placed in the relationship. These values were based on education, empathy and acceptance over money, materialistic aspirations and power controls. Who has how much, their social status, their desirability by others were not important. The important factors were how intelligent, caring and supportive the person was. These were incredible values that I instantly identified and connected with.

- Personality centric

Perhaps for the first time I felt like a person with feelings instead of a walking wallet. It suddenly felt safe to share my views and my perspective even if they were at odds with the girl and somehow contradicted her values, it wasn't the end of the world. Agreeing to disagree was never easier. I felt that the personality was important, it was easily appreciated over all of the other empty gimmicks, forgiveness was available when needed and I was struck by the ease of communication and lack of barriers that traditionally were present in many interactions with western women.

- Ease of finding common language

Perhaps it was a motivation thing or maybe the hardship of fitting in made these women more willing to find the common language, but even with girls who spoke poor English there was never a language barrier. I'd actually find it cute when they couldn't find the right words to express themselves because by their body language I'd already know what they were saying. They'd have a tendency to even blame themselves first for any mis-communication and after experiencing the many offensives that western girls embarked on for any trivial slights in communication, non western girls were an amazing breath of fresh air. The communication would flow for unknown reasons. When all signs pointed to difficulties due to differences in culture, language skills and customs the communication itself and willingness to come to an agreement would never be easier to achieve.

Why was it so much easier to achieve? I'm still wondering.

- Less problems

And over all the interactions were easier. There was more willingness from both parties to avoid problems. There was less victimization, less accusation, less power wrestling. Well maybe its not surprising why that was after reading all of the above, but I'm still dumb founded by it.

But what an amazing contrast and what a difference! You'd think that people are people and in theory should be the same regardless of where they are from. For me at least that theory did not live up to scrutiny.

[Lipp]

I second that motion.

[doppelgaenger]

I seem to have forgotten what other girls are like because I am so in love with mine that I don't care.

[Heratriumphant]

Were all the western girls you knew flashy young chics at clubs?

[Mish]

Were all the western girls you knew flashy young chics at clubs?

There were three girls from clubs out of many dozens I dated, but majority were from random places, (including one Scientist). Age range was 18 - 32 for both western and non western.

[Gribble]

Sounds like you're the one with the problem, Mish. Apparently you can't find decent women. Not looking hard enough or are you just willing to settle for whatever comes along?

Once you sift through the young and dumb little girlies there is a wealth of intelligent women to be had.

[Mish]

Sounds like you're the one with the problem, Mish. Apparently you can't find decent women.

I found a lot of decent women, they just happened to be born overseas.

[misombra]

who cares?

[Gigabitch]

You bastard.

j/k.

Anyway, Mish, what I hear you describing is young behavior. Western girls can be a bit spoiled. Eastern girls have to grow up a lot faster because times are tougher in Eastern countries. There are exceptions, obviously.

[Petit Papillon]

I seem to have forgotten what other girls are like because I am so in love with mine that I don't care.

Enjoy Your honeymoon period because there will come a day when it will finish Oh it will ,it will... It happens to everyone

[BoredGeorge]

Maybe what you say is true of REPUBLICAN FOLLOWING AMERICAN WOMEN most Australian girls are certainly not like that, though they do their very best to be good little American girls however, they cannot get the arrogance, selfishness and stupidity just right yet. Give them a few more years.

Especially scientists: they're always so arrogant.

[Gigabitch]

Oh, for God's sake, George. Change the channel.

[Mish]

You bastard.

j/k.

Anyway, Mish, what I hear you describing is young behavior. Western girls can be a bit spoiled. Eastern girls have to grow up a lot faster because times are tougher in Eastern countries. There are exceptions, obviously.

I suppose that's true. I'm also growing up as well and becoming more articulate. The women I dated 4 or 5 years ago I would bypass completely in the present.

Still it's such an interesting difference in treatment. Overall, I'd find those overseas girls treating me so much better.

[Junket]

who cares?

Yeah Mish, I feel like you're too caught up over this western/eastern thing.

Are you sure it's not rural/urban?

[Mish]

Yeah Mish, I feel like you're too caught up over this western/eastern thing.

Are you sure it's not rural/urban?

I haven't met that many girls from the country so I don't know. The ones I did meet left a good impression on me though.