My situation

[jlan1684]

A friend of mine came online on MSN saying this girl needed help with something related to iTunes. It was something really minor and easy. I managed to help her out and she thanked me. Later, I happened to meet her and she was very sweet. We spoke a bit and added her to MSN. I also managed to get her phone number. We spoke 3-4 times over MSN for roughly an hour each time maybe.

She happens to be good friends with some of my old school friends and they hang out a lot together. Those old school friends were really good friends with me in school because we played a lot of soccer together. Just recently I invited her friends (and mine) to my birthday dinner. I speak to them a lot online because they aren't in my college, and we've met up a couple of times so we're in touch.

I know some of the things she likes and dislikes and I've made her laugh a few times. We have a few things in common as well, like reading for instance. I was going to ask her out but before I did so, I confided in one of my friends, a guy who is her good friend. He told me she was seeing another guy, but it was a long distance relationship. And by long distance I mean two different countries altogether. I tried to get her out of my head, but I can't seem to. I feel I might still have a chance, so I'd like your advice on what I could possibly do.

Another thing is that I've never called her, just did a lot of texting (she doesn't like talking on the phone much she claims) and IMing. Recently though she hasn't been coming online on MSN and its been more than a month. She's had exams and so have I but they were at different times. I texted her a few times to wish her well in her exams and that was about it.

Any opinions?

[TheWizard]

telling her friends your intentions can be risky. If she knows you are into her and she isn't into you that way now she has a reason to either keep in touch or stop communicating. Since exams and whatnot are going on and it's the holidays give her the benefit of the doubt. Sounds like you don't know her holiday plans so who knows maybe she can't use her phone or something.

When you text her does she text back relatively quickly? within a couple hours 80% of the time or immediately? Do you guys talk shop or are you having fun and flirty MSN and phone texts?

Whatever you do don't over communicate without her pinging you back. By over communicate I mean it would be wise if she didn't wake up one day to find 4 texts within 20 minutes of each other that say stuff like:

"Hey was great talking last night, when do we do that again?"
"Just checking to see if you were up yet or out or whatever"
"did you get my last messages? Are you there?"
"hello?"

This will kill you instantly creepazoid.

As for her long distance relationship it never usually works so unless she's really in love with the guy I would say show her who you are. Ultimately it's up to her if you show you're a better and more realistic choice. Game on, just don't be a creep and remember what time of year it is.

[jlan1684]

telling her friends your intentions can be risky. If she knows you are into her and she isn't into you that way now she has a reason to either keep in touch or stop communicating. Since exams and whatnot are going on and it's the holidays give her the benefit of the doubt. Sounds like you don't know her holiday plans so who knows maybe she can't use her phone or something.

Well the only think I know about her holiday plans is that she's in town and that her friends who were studying overseas for the last 6 months or so are back in town for the holidays so I reckon she's probably busy with them. Because of the exams and stuff I couldn't really catch up with her for a month. So when I did text her to wish her for her exams she replied a few days later (she was studying a lot at the last minute, barely went out). When I last texted her in the night, she replied the next day in the afternoon or so (college in the morning I guess kept her busy). I'm not too worried about this kind of delay.

When you text her does she text back relatively quickly? within a couple hours 80% of the time or immediately? Do you guys talk shop or are you having fun and flirty MSN and phone texts?

Well, when we used to text it was pretty much immediately because sometimes my MSN wouldn't work with her BlackBerry MSN so we'd use text messaging. Well, we had a lot of interesting things to talk about but I did throw in a few subtle, harmless flirty touches once in a while. But I didn't want to make it creepy, just a little charming.

Whatever you do don't over communicate without her pinging you back. By over communicate I mean it would be wise if she didn't wake up one day to find 4 texts within 20 minutes of each other that say stuff like:

"Hey was great talking last night, when do we do that again?"
"Just checking to see if you were up yet or out or whatever"
"did you get my last messages? Are you there?"
"hello?"

This will kill you instantly creepazoid.

No I've never done that kind of thing. I'm not in a hurry or anything, I'm just trying to go with the flow. I really like her.

As for her long distance relationship it never usually works so unless she's really in love with the guy I would say show her who you are. Ultimately it's up to her if you show you're a better and more realistic choice. Game on, just don't be a creep and remember what time of year it is.

Interestingly, her Facebook profile shows her as single, not in a relationship. And I only confided in one of her friends, because he happens to be a very good friend of mine. And he claimed she just happened to mention she has a boyfriend once while they were talking.

Before I came to know about her apparent 'boyfriend' I was going to invite her for lunch somewhere, saying that "the MSN IMing was getting a little boring and how about we meet and talk?" You think thats a viable way to do it or should I try some other way you might suggest?