Depressed over a mistake i made..

[wondering3]

I broke up with my girlfriend of 4 years about 2 months ago. We were always fighting, and she was they type of person that always wanted attentions, but i couldn't always giver her the attention she wanted, so she was always causing fights over this. She was the first girl i ever slept with, and after we broke up, i slept with someone else. Now we've started talking again, and i haven't told her about this one night stand. If i do tell her, she'll never want to talk to me again. If i don't tell her, i'll have to deal with it. I don't know what im supposed to do. This one night stand didn't mean anything, and it was the worst decision i ever made. When i did it, i didn't think me and my ex were going to start talking so soon. Anyone ever deal with a situation like this?

[Raze]

You shouldn't be talking to your ex. You should be concentrating on forgetting about her, getting her out of your life, and improving yourself physically and mentally.

You probably miss her. I can understand that. Just remember why you broke up. Chances are still she'll be the same. People never change in a short amount of time. It takes a while. And in most cases, they never change.

Why is your life her business? Your life is your own business. Even though you did a one night stand which you understand was bad, you can find a way out. Just don't talk to her. Make sure she doesn't talk to you. If you have to get new contact information so she can't talk to you.

[wondering3]

i understand that i should be getting her out of my life, but we've been talking and she really has seemed to have cooled down and not be so uptight about things. I would really like to get back together with her at some point down the road if i knew it could work out. What im worried about is what ive done. I ruined something we had, which was we had only slept with eachother. I dont know what to do about that.

[stevejohnson197]

i understand that i should be getting her out of my life, but we've been talking and she really has seemed to have cooled down and not be so uptight about things. I would really like to get back together with her at some point down the road if i knew it could work out. What im worried about is what ive done. I ruined something we had, which was we had only slept with eachother. I dont know what to do about that.

dude...she might be ACTING like she 'changed', but it will go back to the way it always was.

dont tell her about the 1 night stand. None of her business. If you were married? yes, tell her. You were not and you were broken up...

[wondering3]

im not going to jump back into things, but im going to talk to her every once in a while and see if things do get better. I can already tell with her personality that she is a little different, but we definitely need space. I feel like such an asshole not telling her about the whole incident tho..

[Raze]

im not going to jump back into things, but im going to talk to her every once in a while and see if things do get better. I can already tell with her personality that she is a little different, but we definitely need space. I feel like such an asshole not telling her about the whole incident tho..

You're completely ignoring the advice people are giving you. Let her go. Find someone else. Don't talk to her. THINGS WON'T GET BETTER!

However, kudos on recognizing that you need space.

Don't feel like an asshole, you did nothing wrong. Your only mistake was making a one-night stand and you realized you were wrong. It's none of her business anyway. She doesn't need to know anything you do. It's your life and you don't need to talk to her. Please, get her out of your life.

[Pure Poison]

You have to tell her if you want to continue talking to her. It won't be fair to her because she'll be thinking something else inside while your conscious will be killing you inside. You have to tell her to start off the relationship again on honest terms or she'll really hate you if she finds out later on one day..and that'll be worse.

[shheadz]

This really depends on you. Personally I wouldn't tell her, and I'd have no problem keeping that secret. You didn't do anything wrong hooking up with another girl, so there shouldn't be any guilt. No guilt means you should be able to keep the secret without it eating you up inside. If you're just not the type of person that can keep a secret like that, then you better tell her, and do it soon.

[lilly1185]

You weren't together, she doesn't need to know.

[ctom18]

I completely agree with shheadz. Well said.

[wondering3]

I just wanted to let you guys know that you were completly right about the fact that i should have just moved on..me and my ex started talking over winter break and things were going good, we felt like we used to feel when we first started dating..sunday night was my first day back at school and it occured to me why i broke up with her in the first place..shes a huge b****..it was my first night back and she was all pissed off because i was out with my friends and she was stuck at home by herself..so i called her to try and talk to her for 10 minutes and let her know that i was thinking about her..that turned into and hour and a half...how rediculous!!!! we talked for an hour and a half about how upset she was that i was out with my friends...so you guys were right, and ive ended it again and am NEVER going back! thanks for help!

[Thelovedoctor]

You shouldn't even talk to your ex, let alone contemplete telling her about a one night stand.

If it really bugs the shit out of you, just say "you know what? I had sex with somebody else after I broke up, because it's clearly over".

As a matter of fact, if I were you, I'd **** four more women for good measure and brag about it to all of her friends. better yet, **** her friends(unless they're dudes).

[wondering3]

the only reason it bothered me was cuz i was remembering how good it used to be..but now i know that shes a serious b****..she gets mad a me for the dumbest s*** and im sick of it! i need to get over her and move on!

[girl68]

Don't tell.

My situation: I was sleeping with some guy I met, it was casual not serious then I started to like his friend (not good friend) his friend and I started flirting and a mild courtship. Eventually I decided to go for his friend but I had one last night with the first guy. The friend is now my bf. He does not know that I stopped sleeping with him just days before I started dating my now bf. He doesn't need to know, I was not his gf and was single and free to sleep with whomever I wanted. I have not told and would not. Through if he asked I'm not sure I would lie. But at the same time I might be able to say "it is none of your business" and mean it.

My 2 cents.

[Okay]

Relationships only work if people are compatible right?
It seems like if you've had so many arguments and think She's a b*tch then you need to just let go. It's like a personality clash.

I'm lucky... I say that because..
I have a bad feeling that I am a similar person to your (ex)girlfriend in the way that I would get very depressed over the times when I don't get enough (or the appropriate) attention from my boyfriend. Sometimes I would be so upset I would call him and cry and moan about how upset I was. Upon reflection I know it is bad and that this sort of thing ruins relationships... but for some really stupid reason I just couldn't control myself. It was like someone else possessed me and I was just running off of built up emotions. I say I am lucky because unlike you, my boyfriend has not once yelled back at me (yet). He has always been understanding and caring, and always worked hardest to please me and make things better where they have gone wrong. He is a gentle person towards me and I love him so much for that.

I hope you can find a girlfriend who is right for you in the future.