Online Dating mentality

[Stratosphere]

Do girls really go online to date, or do you go online just to see how many guys email you so you can say to yourself "See I am cute." ??

[lostinconfusion]

honestly in my experience it's the "see i am cute". unless you are in the marriage age, on a website where people pay for a membership, i don't think you'll have much success. sorry don't mean to be a downer but i'm just trying to save you energy.

i'll actually share a little more honesty with you, not being a bitch but giving you the facts from a female who did try online dating. girls don't generally tend to be drawn to guys who have the "i want a girlfriend" stamp across their forehead. yes i know it's all weird and wrong, but it's just nature. we want guys who come across as not caring about dating, therefore when a girl is "picked" by one one these non caring guys, it lets her know that she is special, that he wants her to be "THE girlfriend" not just "A girlfriend". so to cut to the chase, by going online and actively seeking A girlfriend, you are putting the official "I just want a girlfriend" stamp on your forehead, which as a explained earlier is turn of.

conclusion, very few girls do online dating for the dating, mostly for the cyber compliment. and of the ones that truly do have good intentions and you do end up on a date with, well they are often unable to get across the feeling in their stomach that says "this guy will grab the first thing that comes his way", hence no second date.

well that's just my little theory, feel free to do with it as you please.

[wipe_out]

lostinconfusion is absolutely right in my experience on online dating.. My opinion is its a total waste of time and money..

[stevejohnson197]

i've had 5 different first dates in 3 weeks. all of which would of made it to date #2 if I had allowed it.

2 have made the cut. both are on date #3 now and I sense one of them is going to be pretty pissed off when I make 'the choice'...

its been quite fruitful for me.

[Stratosphere]

honestly in my experience it's the "see i am cute". unless you are in the marriage age, on a website where people pay for a membership, i don't think you'll have much success. sorry don't mean to be a downer but i'm just trying to save you energy.

i'll actually share a little more honesty with you, not being a bitch but giving you the facts from a female who did try online dating. girls don't generally tend to be drawn to guys who have the "i want a girlfriend" stamp across their forehead. yes i know it's all weird and wrong, but it's just nature. we want guys who come across as not caring about dating, therefore when a girl is "picked" by one one these non caring guys, it lets her know that she is special, that he wants her to be "THE girlfriend" not just "A girlfriend". so to cut to the chase, by going online and actively seeking A girlfriend, you are putting the official "I just want a girlfriend" stamp on your forehead, which as a explained earlier is turn of.

conclusion, very few girls do online dating for the dating, mostly for the cyber compliment. and of the ones that truly do have good intentions and you do end up on a date with, well they are often unable to get across the feeling in their stomach that says "this guy will grab the first thing that comes his way", hence no second date.

well that's just my little theory, feel free to do with it as you please.

I knew it! Thanks for the info, I understand now.

[lostinconfusion]

oh i'm happy to hear you are having good luck steve :-) my theory isn't scientific or anything, just a generalization from experience.

[stevejohnson197]

oh i'm happy to hear you are having good luck steve :-) my theory isn't scientific or anything, just a generalization from experience.

oh hear ya! 100%. I'm devilishly, ridculously good looking, so the girls see the picture and email me right away without even reading my profile. I wish you didnt have to put a picture up to be honest, but I would NEVER get a response then.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Tons of girls you meet online are looking to meet up. You must not be putting much thought into what you're saying. Post some correspondence between you and someone you've been talking with. Also, post your profile.

[Gigabitch]

Two of my friends met their husbands online using sites specifically for long-term relationships. If you go on the free dating sites, you should expect to see mostly attention whores and window shoppers.

[stevejohnson197]

you know what works? i email back and forth 5 or 6 times before meeting up...and I ask them tons of questions. they LOVE it. I cant tell you how mnay girls have told me how different and enjoyable my emails are and that they lijke that i'm interested in getting to know them instead of just asking to meet up.

online dating is a breeeeeeeze.

[starbuck]

I met my husband on an online dating site, too. One with a monthly fee.

I was definitely interested in using it to date. Those profile forms are way too much work for someone just looking for easy attention.

[shheadz]

you know what works? i email back and forth 5 or 6 times before meeting up...and I ask them tons of questions. they LOVE it. I cant tell you how mnay girls have told me how different and enjoyable my emails are and that they lijke that i'm interested in getting to know them instead of just asking to meet up.

Sounds like a good approach. I never tried dating sites because it seemed you'd be going on one blind date after another.. and blind dates aren't that much fun to begin with.

But getting to know the person pretty well before meeting up would make it more fun.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Online dating is so easy, and stevejohnson is totally right. Just ask questions back and forth and make funny comments about things you have in common. I've slept with 6 girls in the two+ months I've been on it and it's not because they were easy, it's because I put in all the "work" before hand. I still hang out with 3 of them and I'm also juggling new ones. I'm lucky though, I have a job where I can just go on pof.com real quick and send some messages whenever I get bored. Also, check out the people that have viewed your profile and message them. Online dating is very easy, but judging from your post, you have the complete wrong attitude. You sound like a guy that sends a stupid one liner like "How's your day going" and expects the girl to treat you to a 5 star dinner and a blowjob.

[kez73]

I think it goes both ways. My experiences with online dating were that the majority of men who contacted me tried to 'cyber' almost immediately, or at the very least discuss sexual topics right away. I'm from a fairly small city and was quite shocked to see so many married or attached men that I KNEW on various dating sites, pretending that they were single. There were probably women too but I didn't personally see any I knew (or they were smart enough not to put their photos up lol).

I ended up only going on ONE date after being a member of various sites for 7 months because he was the ONLY person in all that time that did not try to talk dirty within a day or less. He was the ONLY person I met from 3 sites who did not ask me a single question about my sexual habits. It was refreshing to finally meet someone who seemed to want to get to know ME instead of what was in my pants And now we live together and have a 1 yr old son

My friends that tried online dating were not looking for compliments and actually, they HATED that. Many took their photos down because they were sick of getting 'you're hot let's talk' replies. But then with no photos you get almost no replies at all. So - catch22. I would not wish to guess how many women join sites just for compliments, but I would imagine it's pretty equal to how many men join just to get some thrills from sex talk. I remember talking to one guy for a day who seemed really nice, he was a single parent as well, blah blah blah and he seemed cool. After my kids were in bed, he sent me a photo of his 'boy parts'. Just WHAM just like that - here comes a rude photo after not hinting whatsoever that's what he was after.

It reminds me of the perils of dating pre-internet like the episode on Seinfeld where Elaine dates Jerry's friend and it went well but suddenly took a turn for the worse.

He. Took. IT. OUT!

[LailaK]

I can only speak from personal experience and I go online to date. I go on 1-2 dates per week and have met some nice guys and great friends but I haven't found that serious thing that I'm looking for.

You can ask a girl how serious she is about meeting someone she really likes. I'm usually dead honest with guys when they do this.

Also, I've done Match.com, eHarmony, and I hated them both. The best dating site I've found online is OKCupid.com, and it's free

~L