How to make her mine...

[confidentor46]

hi guys. I am 19 years old guy who is in love with a broken-hearted girl. We know each other for years as a firend. Both of our family atmospheres are not so good and both of us need a friend , you know. We are dating for few days but my intuition tells me that I need to make a very good decision at the moment. I understand there are many things that makes her sad at the moment; her family atmosphere, a jerk who is my highschool classmate she used to love to, and some other things. Now this jerk so far from her(overseas) but he is still telling heart-breaking fake words and eating her inside. I've had an unsuccessful relationship with another girl in the past. Few days ago she asked about this topic and I told everything about it. I just wanted not to lie. I just wanted to be honest. But I guess it made her hesitate about me.
I think my loved one doesn't know what to do, where to go at the moment... I wanted to see happiness in her beautiful eyes again and want to make her mine forever.

What should I do?? Guys please help me ASAP...

[lahnnabell]

She's hurting over someone else right now. I guarantee you you'll only be a rebound. You'll be her band-aid for a little while until she truly gets over the pain this other dude caused her, and THEN she'll be ready for a new healthy relationship, but it won't be with you.

You can't use this girl's grief as a way to become her White Knight. In fact, that seems kinda low. I know you're not just trying to get a lay, but if you care about this girl, then be there for her. But don't pester her with romance when she clearly needs to do some personal healing.

[CAM]

You are her friend...you are stuck in that role because you appeared at the wrong time in her life. Six months or a year from now, when she's feeling up again...that's when would be right.

Timing and proximity are everything in dating, as in fishing or hunting...or anything else in life.

You are at the wrong place at the wrong time. Sorry. I speak from decades worth of experience of being at the wrong place at wrong time...and becoming such a good friend...and nothing more.

[CAM]

And fishing analogy taken further...how many of us would prefer to tell the story of how we caught the wild fish? It was full of energy full of life. We reeled it in. Lucky us.

Conversely, how many would like to tell the tale of how they found a dead fish on the beach and brought it home for dinner? Pretty yucky, huh?

Well, the second case is the girl you know...I'm sure she's very nice, but at the moment, you just found the dead fish on the beach. It is not the stuff of which great relationships are made.

A relationship built on mutual strength, the excitement of meeting each other is what builds the momentum for a lasting relationship.

Instead, should this work out with her...your story will be, "Yeah, she's great, huh?! I met her when she was really low and depressed and I breathed new life into her."

Doesn't that sound romantic? Not really.

[confidentor46]

Sounds so sad... but it seems so true. First I know that I need to help her to heal back to 100%, then I should find a better way. But I really don't think someone can love her better than me. Can't I be her hero anyway???

[CAM]

Sounds so sad... but it seems so true. First I know that I need to help her to heal back to 100%, then I should find a better way. But I really don't think someone can love her better than me. Can't I be her hero anyway???

That's her choice...she decides who is her hero and who isn't. For your sake, I hope she chooses you But, realize that emotions dictate the choice...not logic.

And, I'd suggest avoiding talk of nobody "can love her better than me." You get that in your mind and start pushing that topic with her...well, you'll end up in jail. Be careful. Don't get obsessive.

[confidentor46]

Tnx CAM... I hope so...