I can see why men do this...

[lahnnabell]

Yeah but people do that regardless of the the relationship. I'm not going to hold back on living my life in fear it will happen. I'd rather live my life enjoying it in the spaces before they do.

That's precisely what I meant. You claim to have a no-strings, sex only relationship with some women. I'm saying that despite that arrangement, you will most likely meet one or more women that won't be so easy-going, and care free about this arrangement. But I'm sure if there's drama, you'll know what to do

[Sanctuary]

Well duh... They wouldn't be sleeping with me if they weren't attracted to me.

When I said attracted, I meant they'll fall in love with you.

[IndiReloaded]

Man ho. Well, enjoy it while it lasts and I hope you don't meet a good woman who will hold it against you. Many would.

[lahnnabell]

Yeah, the shit may only hit the fan when you try to "break up" your sexual relations. That's when they really go crazy!

"You mean you don't want to have meaningless sex with me anymore because you want a REAL relationship with some OTHER chick?! Grawwww!!!"

Good luck! You see any drama, you run away!

[Graham Berkeley]

Yeah, the shit may only hit the fan when you try to "break up" your sexual relations. That's when they really go crazy!

"You mean you don't want to have meaningless sex with me anymore because you want a REAL relationship with some OTHER chick?! Grawwww!!!"

Good luck! You see any drama, you run away!

I dunno. I don't know why I would want to be in a relationship again at this rate haha. I get this gut feeling no one woman can handle me.

[lahnnabell]

Well, no one plans on it, but you may just meet a kick ass lady who you can't stand to be without.

I never planned on meeting my current guy and I even wondered if I was ready for him when I DID meet him. He's amazing and I'm glad I made the decision to talk to him when I had the initial chance.

[Gigabitch]

You sound like my husband about seven years ago, Graham. He eventually stopped this because he was leaving a wake of destruction behind him and even his own rationalization that he had been perfectly up-front with each of these women was wearing thin.

It's a damn good thing I don't live in the Bay Area, where all of his carousing was done. We were having lunch at Cesar once when one of his ex flings walked in. I thought she was going to cry. It was awful.

"Losing a few along the way" sounds like no big deal to you, but to them, it can be pretty traumatizing.

[flora]

I have a male artist friend who does this as well. He is one of those man-child tortured artist types that women who are too young to know better go crazy over. When I first met him, he tried to turn our friendship into a "friends with benefits" type of relationship but I quickly let him know we would be strictly platonic.

He is upfront with the women he sleeps with, but instead of hearing "I don't want a relationship with you", they seem to hear "I don't think I want a relationship with you, but after I get to know you better you will tame me of my wild ways and we will live happily ever after." Not only has he left a wake of broken hearts, he has also had his car keyed, his email account hacked, and received a bag of poop in the mail (this one I have to admit I found hilarious).

He is a talented, interesting, and engaging person, but to be honest I have lately become frustrated with him for continuing with this behavior when he has seen so many women become attached and hurt. I feel like by being his friend and being emotionally available I am on one level fulfilling a girlfriend/partner role and allowing him to maintain this lifestyle.

[muzu]

I dunno. I don't know why I would want to be in a relationship again at this rate haha. I get this gut feeling no one woman can handle me.

Haha, I thought this from March-November of last year. Had the same situation as you, about 4 girls I had FWB with.

Then I asked this girl out that liked me for a while in December, and now the girls I had FWB with are all jealous about it. Mainly because they all developed very strong feelings for me. I just avoid the drama.

[Aeradalia]

Meh... can you really be held responsible when someone jumps in front of a car? I mean you put up signs... guard rails... crossing guards... etc... and still, they jump and smash into the grill of some Mac truck. Graham... you're a Mac truck, and any woman with any common sense would stay out of your path. As for those who don't... well, I guess there's a reason for roadkill being on the side of the road.

You're not clever... they're just immature, lacking in intuition, or intelligence... or all three. Be prepared for the ferocity of women when they overcome there jealousy in favor of revenge and coordinate their efforts against you. Hell hath no fury like a pack of crazed women.

[Graham Berkeley]

Well, no one plans on it, but you may just meet a kick ass lady who you can't stand to be without.

I never planned on meeting my current guy and I even wondered if I was ready for him when I DID meet him. He's amazing and I'm glad I made the decision to talk to him when I had the initial chance.

I guess I really don't have any faith in that for me since I know what it would take to "satiate" me and I know there is no woman of that caliber out there who would genuinely give a damn about me. Might not be as big of a problem once I'm rich though

"Losing a few along the way" sounds like no big deal to you, but to them, it can be pretty traumatizing.

True but its nice not to be on the receiving end of that trauma. Right now its REALLY hard to feel sorry for a woman that feels that way when if given the opportunity she would do it to me. Not out of callousness but out of pure youthful stupidity and inexperience.

[lahnnabell]

All this will change when you meet a new lady who will knock your socks off!

And I'm in Giga's boat too. My boyfriend hadn't had a serious girlfriend since his ex from a couple of years ago. Every other female in between was some sort of rebound or fling. After we started dating he was cautious about who he told initially in an effort to prevent any crazies. At first this upset me a little because I felt like he was trying to hide something, but as I got to know him and his past, it was for the best. Some of these chicks were pretty nuts.

He had made the same mistake of thinking that his upfront nature would put a halt to any feelings these girls might form, but, as most of us know from experience, that did not work. He spent a lot of time and energy trying to reassure these girls that though he cared for them he was not ready for a relationship. Especially when they were showing clear signs of co-dependence and neediness.

So Graham, we're just warning you not to be surprised if you get a new girl that you want to lavish with love and attention and then suddenly your past shows up to wreak havoc.

[lovesjoyajm]

No offense, Graham, but it's guys like you who ruin the dating game for girls who aren't ginormous whores. It's because of guys like you that girls feel compelled to put out immediately, to put "no demands" on their relationship, to feel like a prude if they want to take things slowly. Because eventually, if things start to get too serious - make that AT ALL serious -you feel like you have the freedom to run off and find some more girls to fcuk without commitment and some more girls to be friends with, and "no harm done".

[tulip tide]

Uhuh. So either women are ****able sex machines or else real good girls you can be friends with? Yeah, I don't see any sexual issues in you. *cough* Madonna/whore complex, anybody? *cough*

[lhn]

*Insert post about irresponsible heartbreaking behaviour here* ....
erm... I mean... you go get em tiger!