Unluckiest guy alive it seems.

[Stefer]

Now I'm not the most confident of people, mainly because things have never seemed to go my way. So for new year a friend convinced me to "be positive" as my resolution.
My first task for staying positive was to tell my crush of 3-4 months how I felt about her. Planned to tell her today.
Come on computer this morning to check up facebook etc. and guess whose "in a relationship" as of last night.
And now I'm back into depressed mood.. only taken me a week to break my resolution..

[aerokissfloyd]

Listen man, stuff like that sucks, but to be honest, in my past experiences things happen for a reason. If you honestly want to be with her then either be there for her if things go bad, or wait it out and try again after her new relationship ends. Just make sure you're not the rebound. Trust me on this. It sucks.

It'll get better man. Good luck.

[Stefer]

Yeh I wasn't planning on doing anything rash. Just makes you think what if..
What if I'd told her a couple days earlier, how would things have panned out then..?
Life is a twisted game it seems.

[aerokissfloyd]

It is a twisted game. But you can't give up. If you really want to be with her, don't give up. You have nothing to lose if you try later when she's single.

And maybe it's better that you hadn't, because chances are she would have had her new guy in mind and things wouldn't have gone well. Try again when she's single. Just make sure you win her over before you tell her.

[Heratriumphant]

Maybe it's better this way. This gives you time to work on developing confidence and a positive attitude.

By the time this girl is single again you'll come across as a much better catch.

[Stefer]

Knew joining this forum was a smart move. Thanks people for the helpful words

[aerokissfloyd]

Anytime dude! This place is great.

[Sanctuary]

Um, this has nothing to do with luck.

You had 3-4 months to do something and you did nothing.

It's nice to not take responsibility for your failures but you'll never learn that way because you'll end up believing that your failures are out of your control.

Anyway, at least there's that silver lining Heratriumphant mentioned. You have the power to change things; instead of just thinking positively, go do something which will have positive results.

[Stefer]

Its taken me that long to realise how much I like her. For the first month or 2 its been a general liking and shes quite a good friend so I wasn't going to rush into something I wasn't sure of and maybe lose a good friend. Its only been lately I've started to appreciate her more.

[Sanctuary]

You should've pursued it even if it was a general liking. If it doesn't work out then you can always just be friends.

However, if you wait and do nothing for 4 months, your chances drastically decline. Therefore, it's almost always better to act sooner than later.

If your argument is that you're afraid of losing a good friend then it's not a very good argument because you would only lose her as a friend if your attraction toward her was more than a general liking. If that was the case, then you would have inevitably asked her out anyway.

[whyme87]

Sometimes relationships with friends arent good...as i know i got with my best friend and now i've lost her totally

[Aeradalia]

There's a motto to life that many people do try to embrace... it's not fancy... and it's not overly complex --- "$hit or get off the pot."

This can be applied to all the things you need or desire in life. Do whatever you can to achieve these goals you set out for yourself, do things right the first time, and don't let opportunities pass you by if you can help it. If you adhere to this, then you'll find your luck will start to improve, your confidence will build, and life will generally get better.

[Nice Lover Boy]

You could also say, "what if I asked her and what if she said No".
That helps sometimes too.

But time will cure your injuries, I know.

[shheadz]

There's a motto to life that many people do try to embrace... it's not fancy... and it's not overly complex --- " or get off the pot."

I always liked, "Things may come to those who wait...but only the things left by those who hustle." - Abraham Lincoln

[sookie6]

I think you should take action very early on when you start having feelings for someone.

It's best. This way you don't build too much expectation, you don't get attached, you don't get too disppointed.

You move on quicker.

A few weeks should be enough to decide whether you like her...3 to 4 months was too long.

Sounds easy to say but with this particular girl at that particular time it was not meant to be.
x