dilemma

[normalshall]

I have known this girl since we were very young, about 2 years old. We've been best friends for as long as I can remember even though I went away to school. We always hang out and do stuff whenever I come home to visit and when she comes up here to visit me and also talk on the phone, sometimes for a couple hours at a time. A couple months ago I decided to ask her out and drove home all the way to do it in person since I am moving back home this summer, not knowing that she was seeing someone at the time since between jobs and school we haven't really had time to talk lately. She got sort of upset that I would ask her something like that when she was seeing someone, again, I didn't know at the time and informed her of that, and she said that she would just like to remain great friends like we always have been. I know for a fact that she had feelings for me at a point but I was seeing someone else during that period. Fast forward to present day, she is now single and has been for the past two months or so. I was wondering if it would be worth it to pursue it again or if I have missed my chance with her. Any input would be much appreciated

[Stratosphere]

How far away is "home"?
If you have feelings for her and she doesn't have feelings for you, then that gonna be difficult for you. She already told you once "lets be friends."
I say meet more girls and then you will know how "special" your lady friend is after that...
I'm in the same situation with a girl I know well and she told me (after I asked her if she thought we should date), that she "didn't want to ruin our friendship" so Yah. Find a new girl and cut back on talking to her.

Or dive right in one last time and blatantly say "Do you want to date me now or not?" Then you will no 100% what the answer is! Which I think will be the same, but do it if you want to.

[normalshall]

Home is about two hours away. I have attempted to cut back on communicating with her and even spending time with her but she still insists on calling/texting quite often and coming over when I home which is why I'm confused quite a bit. I explained to her that it makes it harder for me for the feelings to go away but she still does it regardless. This may sound a bit stupid but I just don't wanna get put into the situation of asking her again only to get shot down and chance losing her forever by making things awkward when I see her especially since she knows how I feel about her but I'm confused as to how she feels about me other then being just friends. Ive tried talking to her once before about it but she just changes the topic of conversation to something else as if she doesn't want to discuss that so I just left it there

[Stratosphere]

yah screw that! She will mess with you forever! That is just weird she wants so much attention from you. So see, she is using you. That is really mean of her to do that.
Ok, so what we (because I am in the same boat with my ladyfriend) need to do is stop contacting her altogether. Its gonna hurt, but you have to do it. If she shows up on your doorstep one day (sounds like she really likes your attention so I assume she will), then tell her point blank: "You know what I want and you don't want it, be my girlfriend or get out of my life." She will roll her eyes and tell you what an a-hole you are and you will feel guilty, etc...etc...etc...
But that is my plan.
You gotta meet more women. There must be women at college? Right?

[normalshall]

Yea, that sounds like its what im gonna have to do. Hopefully that will make her understand cuz frankly I've tried everything I can think of short of that, just can't take it anymore

Ohh yea, definitely plently of women, just wanted to get a impartial opinion if she was worth going after again cuz I'd rather it be her then another girl, mainly cuz im really comfortable around her and can be 100% myself, (I'm a little shy unless I've had a few to drink), and don't have to try to impress anyone.... Ohh well, time to start looking again. Thanks for the input

[Stratosphere]

Oh wow, you sound exactly like me! I don't want to find someone else because we get along really really good and I just can't imagine there is another girl just like her. But there is! And probably better than her too!
I know you have the thoughts of, "I will show her, I just wont' talk to her, then she will miss me and want me!" She will miss you, but her feelings probably won't change...

Good luck!

[normalshall]

Ohh I know, just gonna be hard finding someone since I don't get a chance to go out that much anymore, going to school full time and working two full time jobs takes a bit of a toll on a person, might have to wait till after school, only 1 more year.

Thanks again, and good luck to you too