Really confused...

[striker08]

I have posted my situation in another forum on this board. To make a long story short, my ex decided to split with me and has apparently moved on, yet she wants friendship.

Today I received an IM from my ex on Skype. She wanted to know what I had said to a friend of hers the other day. She asked for a copy of the conversation. I asked her why would she want to know and couldnt she just ask her friend for it. My ex said that she just wanted a copy of the conversation and she would ask her friend for it, but decided to ask me for it first. I told her I do not have my history. She then says thank you that she had to go and couldnt talk anymore and she signed off. I am really confused about her behavior. Is this normal behavior and why did she even ask me when she could of went to her friend in the first place?

The compound things further the other day she was upset that I told her I was not getting her a birthday present because I felt it was not appropriate since shes moved on. She then said that shes glad I didn't get her anything but she knew I wouldnt anyways, then she later brings up things from the past. Why should she care if I get her anything if shes moved on?

[cmacattack1]

To me, the fishing for that conversation seems to be another test to see where you are at. To see if you are still pining for her, bending over backwards for her, etc. etc.

One thing I've talked to a friend of mine about and one thing I definately agree with is that if a girl wants to be completely done with you, they will be. They wouldn't want to come back to you for little things that are seemingly irrelevant. My ex called me two weeks after she dumped me to ask for her brother's video game. Not only could he have done it, the fact is she called to ask for it back. I'm not saying read into it like it's a positive sign of getting back together, but see it for what it is.

The fact she is expressing to you that she has already moved on is in my mind complete bullshit. The thing about proving something is that if you are really confident in how you feel, you will not feel the need to bring it up and make a big deal of it. You will be satisfied with it personally and it won't be necessary to bring it up to others. I don't buy it if she has to tell you she has.

As for still contacting you after the breakup talking about gifts, you need to let her know that it's not okay to do that. I'm assuming she dumped you, and the fact that she is bringing it up and bringing up your past, it's not cool at all. You are trying to move on and she is bringing up old issues that you are trying to come to peace with. Not only is that selfish, but it's not getting either of you anywhere.

[IncognitoSir]

This all seems to be an attempt to get attention from you. I cant believe she asked you a COPY of the ****ing conversation, are you serious!? That's outrageous son! Anyways, I wouldn't let her pop in and out of my life like that man. You need to set her straight now. If she has moved on, she needs to move on. This is only the beginning man, the more you feed into her acting like this, the longer it will persist and the more confused and hurt you will become. I dunno if you would ultimately like to get back with her or not, but this behavior of her is absolutely unacceptable IMO.

[striker08]

The plot thickens even more...I posted some photos of myself hanging out with a good female friend of me and this morning I had a message from my ex that said she was glad I had found someone and moved on and wasnt alone and that it was a relief for her and now she says she wasnt offering friendship that its just easier that I had replaced her and she wished us happiness.

She later says she doesnt want me back in her life that shes hoping I find joy and happiness . She continues and says that in order for me to move on she has to disappear from my life, which is the complete opposite she said last week. It appears that she was quite upset that I posted those photos. Next her supposed new "boyfriend or husband" gets online and says that hes won her and that I need to move on and that I had my chance. I tell this person that there are no announcements or photos of their supposed marriage, anywhere. In fact one of her friends was not aware my ex had gotten married. I then later say goodbye and dont contact me.

This is just too much drama, to think 1 photo can cause all this happen. I have no idea why my ex would of said the things she did or why her "husband" felt the need to get online and say what he did either. Has anyone gone through this sort of thing? Is this my ex playing with my mind and heart?

[whyme87]

Seems that way.She has no husband she want's attention and playing games

[striker08]

Everyone was right she came clean to me today, said she didnt have a husband, but she is with a guy who has kids but she has doubts, she said seeing me with my friend was a wake up call to her. Anyways I dont need anyone who plays games, especially someone who had me really down in the dumps. Thanks to everyone on here!

[girl68]

Crazy nut case of a woman.

Ignore her, good riddens.

[striker08]

Ok i really cannot figure this one out. Anyways my ex girlfriend left her finance at the altar and I mean literally told him that she didnt love him and couldnt marry him. About a week ago she calls me to say that she still loves me and wants to work things out. The problem is that I was somewhat already seeing someone and its going good. However I do have feelings for my ex, despite all we have gone through. I asked my ex why didnt she tell me this before she went off with someone else and gotten engaged? Anyways I have many feelings and emotions, part of me wants my ex back but the other part of me loves what I have found with my new girl friend and its promising. My ex really hurt me when she left. My question is why would a girl do this type of thing in the first place: jilt someone at the altar try to get back into my life.

[girl68]

I told you in the post above... because she's a nut case of a woman. Ignore her and continue on the good path with a good gf. End of story.

[cmacattack1]

To cushion her fall. She can't be alone and she might be using your past feelings for her as leverage into this. You better believe she hasn't changed a bit since she dumped you, because she hasn't had enough time on her own to really work things out and figure them out because she's been too busy chasing the honeymoon feeling of each new relationship.

I know you care about her. But you have to understand that you can't let her walk all over you like a doormat too. She thinks she can do whatever she wants. She wanted that conversation you had with her remember? You could have just said no, I didn't have it, but instead you asked her questions and talked to her. It showed you still cared pretty much and that she can just pop in whenever she feels like it to get something she wants. You have to think logically about what can be accomplished by continuing to talk to her because all it has shown is that it's messing you up more.

Are you happy with your current situation with your current partner? I wouldn't jepordize that. I would tell your ex to leave you alone, that you need space. That's all you have to say. No long winded explanations, no need to tell her about your feelings, that's all. If she keeps bothering you, tell her that she needs to respect it. Tell your current girl that your ex is bothering you too. Don't hide it from her. It will go a long ways in establishing something meaningful.